April 21, 2024

SHARING YOUR GOALS

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So, you’ve decided on the goals you want to achieve in order to transform your life into something more closely resembling your ideal. You’re very excited and want to share your goals with others, seeking their support and encouragement. But should you rush out and broadcast your precious ambitions to everyone you know? Should you post about it on social media, talk about it with your friends over lunch, call your family and confide all your plans to them? How do you decide how much, if anything, to share, and with whom? This is a complicated issue and a personal decision, which calls for careful consideration.

There are, of course, advantages to sharing your goals with the right people: Speaking your heart’s desire out loud may help it to manifest. It’s fun to share your vision of Your Ideal Life with people you know, especially at the beginning when you’re bursting at the seams to talk about it to someone! Sharing your goals can help keep you accountable, because when other people know about your goals, it makes it harder for you to slack off on working towards fulfilling them.

You may feel it would be helpful to get other people’s opinions on the goals you have chosen. This, however, can be a double-edged sword. It’s true that an objective third party might be able to point out where you possibly can tweak or rethink a certain goal, and upon reflection you might decide they’re right. But on the other hand, these are YOUR goals, and your best source of guidance is to pray about them and follow where your deep intuition leads you, rather than take someone else’s words at face value. Of course, if your Ideal Life will include another person who has similar goals (for instance, a spouse or partner), you can be of great help to one another by sharing your dreams and aspirations. Two people working toward the same goals is doubly powerful!

If you have a very supportive relative or friend whom you trust implicitly and know will support you and have your best interests at heart, sharing your goals with them can be very edifying to you. Because they love you, they will encourage you in any way they can. Sometimes, they even might be able to assist you in practical ways to achieve them.

The important thing, though, is to be very selective and extremely careful about any person to whom you choose to entrust your most cherished dreams. As unpleasant as it may be to acknowledge, there always will be people out there who do not wish the best for you. They will be more than happy to shoot down your most cherished dreams, telling you every conceivable reason why you cannot possibly attain them, thus filling you with doubt and insecurity. This could be because of their natural negativity or bitterness, a narrow-minded, cynical viewpoint, or rigid, fatalistic religious beliefs. If you know people like this, do not share your goals and dreams with them. They will only undermine your confidence and possibly discourage you from even trying.

You also might invite envy from people who are too lazy or uninspired to set and pursue their own goals. Such people might openly ridicule you, both to your face and behind your back, because they envy your ambition and optimism. Sometimes they may actually try to sabotage your efforts to attain your goals. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles.” Proverbs 21:23

Another drawback is that revealing your intentions and plans can put you in the position of having to defend them to other people, which is unnecessary and can cause your confidence to falter. You do not have to defend your goals to anyone; they are yours, and nobody has the right to challenge you about them, as long as they will not cause harm to other people.

Once having spoken about your goals, you might then become fearful of looking foolish if you fail. This lack of confidence can cause you to sabotage your own efforts. Also, sometimes our goals will change with time. If this happens with some of your goals, you might feel silly admitting this to people, who may not take you seriously after that.

Most importantly, sometimes people close to you might feel threatened by this new vision of your Ideal Life. They may feel that you will change and no longer be the person they feel comfortable with. Many times, family, spouses and friends secretly don’t want you to succeed, not necessarily out of malice, but out of fear that it will change your relationship with them. This is possible, because as you grow and change for the better as a result of your goals, you may well lose people who cannot accept the new you, nor grow and change along with you. This is a part of the process that you need to be willing to face.

One very important thing to realize is that the energy we expend by talking about our goals will sometimes seriously deplete the energy we have left to actually pursue them. Ever notice how the people you know who do the most talking usually accomplish the least? Although there is merit in “speaking your goals out loud” to yourself or to a select few people, wasting too much time and energy talking about all the wonderful things you plan to do may mean that by the time you decide to start working on them, you are already tired of the subject and find your enthusiasm has waned, rather than grown stronger. Talkers talk, but doers do — so be a doer, not a talker!

“Stop talking to people about what you will do; show them instead what you are doing.” says British psychologist, author, and broadcaster Robert Holden, PhD.

When you have achieved your goals and are well on the way to your Ideal Life, you’ll find that other people will want to talk to you about what you have accomplished, rather than the other way around. You can then use your experiences and success to help, inspire, and encourage them to work towards their own best life!

In most cases, it might be wise, especially at the beginning, to limit your goals and plans to your vision board, goal scrapbook, treasure box, or Ideal Life screensaver, as described in my previous post, “The Power of Visual Imagery.” Cherish your dreams within your heart and talk them over with God, and with your Guardian Angel or Guide if this fits into your personal beliefs. Ask for support and direction from the spiritual realm rather than the earthly one. Create your plan of action and then implement it, instead of wasting time and energy, and risking possible setbacks, by talking about them with other people.

*Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels*

In the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Well done is better than well said….Words may show a man’s wit, but actions his meaning.”

March 27, 2024

YOUR IDEAL LIFE BLUEPRINT

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In a previous post, “Your Ideal Life,” the first in this series, we discussed how to identify what would constitute Your Ideal Life and make a list of all the factors involved: where you would live, what job or career you would have, who you would want with you, what you’d like to achieve, and so on. In the second post of the series, “The Power of Visual Imagery,” you learned how to make a visual image of all your goals, such as a Vision Board or Ideal Life Scrapbook. You began meditating upon your goals every day. If you missed these previous blog posts, please check them out.

Now comes the all-important next step: to develop an Ideal Life Blueprint, which will be your plan to actually begin to make that Ideal Life a reality.

Laptop computer with planner, blueprint, coffee cup and notebook — *Photo by: pexels-mikhail-nilov*

To create the blueprint, you can use a special notebook or create a document on your computer. Many experts believe that writing things by hand actually is more effective in imprinting your ideas onto your subconscious mind, but do whatever works best for you.

To begin, use one section of your notebook or computer document for each aspect of Your Ideal Life. You’ll need to allow enough room to develop your blueprint for each goal. Another method, if you don’t mind your blueprint being on display and you have enough wall space, is to get a large bulletin board or whiteboard and divide it into sections for each of your goals, upon which you will pin or write each step in your blueprint. This last method has the advantage of being frequently in sight, which will keep your goals top-of-mind. If you have a Vision Board, hang your blueprint board alongside it, if possible.

The easiest way to create your blueprint is to start with the fulfillment of each goal and figure out what you might do to get there by following these steps:

Step 1. Ask yourself such questions as “what,” “where,” “when” and “why.” Bear in mind that the “how” isn’t always possible to know, especially at the beginning. To keep asking howsomething that seems unattainable right now could possibly happen can become a major stumbling block in believing that it’s possible at all. The “how” is usually God’s department. Your job is to have a clear understanding of what your goals are, and what you need to get there, by answering the other questions to the best of your ability.

Here’s an example: Supposing one of your goals is to buy a house one day. It’s helpful to figure out where you might want to live, and what kind of a house. Then ask yourself when would be a reasonable timeline in which to buy the house. For motivation, ask yourself “why” you want to own a house. Your answers might be, “It’s a good investment,” “It will give me enough room to raise a family,” “I want to live in a better neighborhood,” etc. Be honest with yourself as to whether your reasons resonate with you on a deep level, or whether they are superficial. For instance, “Because it’s expected of me,” or “Because all my friends own homes,” or “Because I want to brag that I live in that area” are shallow reasons that will make believing in your goal much more difficult. This probably won’t bring the happiness and fulfillment you might expect, especially if deep-down you know that you don’t really want the expense and work of upkeeping a big house and yard, and would prefer an apartment or condo.

Step 2. Now that you’ve answered the “what,” “where,” “when” and “why” questions to your satisfaction, the next step is to do your research. If the goal is a house in a particular neighborhood, begin to research the area you chose and the cost of homes similar to what you would like in that area. Plan a visit to experience the area in person.

Beautiful house in suburbs with "For Sale" sign in front yard. — *Photo by Pixabay*

If your goal is a particular career, research what qualifications, skills or education you need. If your goal is to find a life partner, list the particular qualities you are seeking in a partner.

Step 3. Now that you’ve done your research, and have a better idea of the specifics of your goal, it’s time to figure out what you would need to get there from here. For instance, now you know how much that 4-bedroom home with the big yard in your chosen neighborhood would cost. Add in the other expenses such as real estate taxes, insurance, maintenance, etc., and you can figure out exactly how much money you would need for a down payment, and what sort of income would be required to pay the mortgage and maintain that home.

For your dream job, you’ll need to figure out how you might acquire the necessary skills or education you might not yet possess.

To find your life partner, perhaps you’ll want to explore what avenues might help lead to your meeting such a person.

Step 4. Devise a short-term plan, listing practical steps you can take right now. To avoid becoming overwhelmed by how far you might have to go to reach your goal, set your plan to a manageable time-frame, such as one year.

Your list might read as follows:

For your dream home: Set up a budget, figuring out how you can cut costs or earn more money, and deciding how much you can reasonably put in the bank each month to save towards a down payment.
To find a life partner: Enlist the aid of friends who might be able to introduce you to someone. Explore reputable online dating services, groups, clubs or volunteer organizations that you might join in order to meet more people with similar interests to yours.

Man andn woman looking at menus in a restaurant — *Photo by pexels-jep-gambardella*

For your ideal career: Take some night or online college courses to begin acquiring the degree you might need. Or make time to develop the gift you have that you want to turn into a career, to bring it up to the level required.

After the year is up, re-evaluate your goals and your progress, and devise a new short-term plan for the coming year.

Step 5. Keep in mind that there may be many steps along the way to your Ideal Life. You might meet a lot of frogs before you find your Prince. You might have to put up with jobs you don’t love in order to acquire the experience and skills that will lead to your dream job. You first may need to buy a smaller house in a less-than-ideal neighborhood, in order to acquire enough equity to one day sell it and move up to a better home.

Step 6. Leave room for the magic, the mystery, and the wonder! You may not be sure that your short-term goals will work, and you probably are not sure what will follow after that. Just realize that you do not have to know all that right now. That comes under the “how” heading, and remember, you’re putting that part of your plan in God’s hands! Your only job right now is to do the very best you can with what you have and your present ability. Sometimes, things may seem to be going in the exact opposite direction from what you want. This is where the trust comes in. You have to believe that, as long as you’re doing the best you can, there is a plan behind everything that happens. You might not understand it right away, but it will make sense later on. It’s like looking at the reverse side of a tapestry: all you see is a tangle of threads that don’t seem to make any sense. But when you turn it over and see the beautiful image on the other side, you understand how all those seemingly random threads all worked together to create the final product.

Step 7. Pray that God will lead you to the life that will make you the happiest and most fulfilled. By doing this, you can rest assured that you will be guided in the attainment of your true goals. Remember that our goals evolve over time. You may change some of them, eliminate others because they no longer resonate with you, and add new ones. This is nothing to be ashamed of or get anxious about. It’s normal. You’re not a failure if you change your mind about a goal. It just means that, due to your development as a person, the things that were important to you a few years ago may no longer be as important now. New ambitions and dreams will have taken their place. It’s part of our journey here on earth, so just trust the inner guidance you’ve been praying for.

God puts aspirations and desires into our hearts and souls. Not everything we think we want is a genuine goal. By praying for guidance, eventually the false goals will fall away, and you will be redirected to the ones that will accomplish your life’s mission and bring you the greatest fulfillment.

Next Time: Should You Share Your Goals?

April 24, 2023

PURSUING HAPPINESS

(30-second Reflection)

Happy

If we pursue happiness on earth, it eludes us. If we do what we feel compelled to do with our life, and it’s the right thing for us, happiness will follow. After we die, God won’t ask us if we were happy; He’ll ask what we did with what we had.

This doesn’t mean that God doesn’t want us to be happy, but God has planned our lives so that when it aligns with His will, we will have inner peace and joy on earth and be happy in eternity.

If we aggressively pursue happiness, we risk hurting others and ourselves, resulting in conflict and grief. Happiness isn’t a thing we can capture in a bottle and hold to ourselves. It’s not a treasure to be searched for and found. Rather, it’s like a road we walk — not a destination in itself, but part of the journey. It is only when we achieve our soul’s purpose that we’re truly happy — not the human happiness that ebbs and flows, but the inner joy and peace that come with fulfilling one’s destiny.