March 21, 2023

The Traveler

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Do you sometimes feel lost and confused about what direction to take in your life?

Some years ago, I was facing a lot of changes and adjustments, as well as new opportunities and possibilities (including a new job). Naturally, I was feeling excited yet stressed, encouraged yet confused. I was praying about all of it, of course, but still felt somewhat overwhelmed. I asked for a sign to help me know what direction to take with some of my goals. One night, I had the following dream:

Dream: “The Unknown Road”

As the dream begins, I am driving my car along a beautiful but unfamiliar country road. I am alone, with no particular destination in mind – just going for a ride on a beautiful summer day. I am driving carefully, especially at intersections, although there is little traffic in that rural area. The scenery is gorgeous, with gentle, rolling green hills in the distance, and the sky is a lovely blue with some puffy cumulus clouds. But then I notice some wisps of black in the sky and become frightened, thinking a storm is approaching. Then I see some men fixing the road up ahead and realize that it had not been black clouds that I had seen, but smoke rising from a machine that is mixing hot asphalt.

The road then ends at a “T”-type intersection. I don’t know whether to turn left or right. I pull over to the side, stop the car and get out, looking for a street or destination sign, but see none. The scenery here is breathtaking, because up ahead I see beautiful mountains and an enormous cathedral, bigger than any building I’ve ever seen, with the ornate, beautiful architecture common in old cathedrals. As I scan the panorama, I’m dismayed to see some ugly industrial buildings to the right and left in the distance. I think what a shame it is that they’re spoiling the beautiful landscape. The sight of them lends an eerie, desolate aspect to the scenery, giving me a creepy feeling. I wonder if I should ask someone where I am, so that I can figure out how to get back home. At first I resist, because I really had wanted to figure it out for myself, but with no signs to guide me, it doesn’t seem possible.

As the dream ends, I realize that I’ll have to ask someone for directions.

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When I awoke, I realized how perfectly symbolic this dream was of my current situation. Roads, of course, symbolize the path we are taking in life. The road I was on, though beautiful, was rather narrow, which brought to mind “the narrow way” mentioned in the Gospels, and it was long and winding, showing that I still have far to go. The black clouds that I saw, which turned out to be harmless smoke from a truck doing street repairs, seemed to mean that some of my fears were groundless, and that my attempts to “repair” the things that are wrong in my life might be scary and upsetting sometimes, but necessary.

The T-intersection symbolized the fact that I can’t travel in the same direction forever; eventually I will come to a crossroads and have to make a decision and choose a new direction. I believed that the great cathedral in the distance represented my spiritual aspirations, and its huge size showed that it was an extremely important aspect of my life. The industrial buildings felt “creepy” and also made me angry with the way they ruined the beautiful landscape. Since industry is another word for work, I felt that they symbolized my fear of being overwhelmed with mundane work to the point where I’d be unable to fulfill my higher ambitions and spiritual goals.

The dream was inconclusive, because it ended with my still being at the crossroads. To get more insight into this dream and what it might be trying to tell me, I put my mind into a passive, receptive state and used my personal method to connect with my inner guidance. Through the process of inspirational writing, I received the following message about my dream:

“Become as a traveler who is not totally sure of the way, so he asks Someone who knows the area well to guide him. From the traveler’s viewpoint, sometimes the road will be deceptive. He might think one direction will lead him where he wants to go, only to find that it winds around and around, and he ends up back where he started. The wise traveler will admit his ignorance of the way and seek help. He will follow the direction of a knowledgeable person, even though sometimes the road that is pointed out seems like it could not possibly be the right one. The shortest path is sometimes the wrong one, and the experienced guide will know this, but the traveler, who is unfamiliar with the territory, will not.

“If sometimes the road ahead looks deceptively easy and you are fooled into thinking it is the right one, you might get lost. But if you seek the help of God, Who knows the way, you will never go wrong. You still might have to travel a great distance, go over many obstacles and follow a very tortuous road, but in the end you will reach your goal.

“The traveler who goes nowhere is the one who is too proud to ask directions, who goes his own way no matter what the circumstances. Do not be like this traveler, but like the one who is humble enough to know when he needs guidance.

“Ignore those who will tell you that sometimes you must hurt others to get ahead. If you aspire to this sort of success, you are on the wrong path. ‘Getting ahead’ this way is only a euphemism for selfishly grasping at things that are only temporary. This will give you nothing but grief. You will ponder what you achieved and find it empty. Honor first what God has asked of you — to use your gifts and talents for the benefit of others and to glorify God. If you do this, you will achieve your goals, find true contentment, and overcome the obstacles which hinder your growth. This will give you a freedom that no earthly success can ever give. Do not heed the discordant voices that try to lead you astray. They are only empty noise in a space that is devoid of any true peace or happiness.”

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I have shared this dream and message to encourage you, if you are feeling lost and confused about what direction to take in your own life. After you consider all the known choices you can make and paths you can take, surrender it to Higher Power. Ask to be shown the way, through your own inner guidance. Do not depend only on your intellect; leave room for your intuition and inner knowing. Open your mind to possibilities and opportunities you may have not considered yet, and try not to cling stubbornly to ideas that clearly are not working out and need to be revised or discarded.

It’s funny how we usually trust a GPS system to tell us how to get to a destination. If we make a wrong turn and find ourselves being corrected by the GPS, would we sit in our car and argue with it, insisting that the road we took, which is clearly in the opposite direction, is the right one and that the GPS is wrong? No, most of the time we will follow the GPS directions without question. Yet, when our inner guidance, directed by Higher Power, is emphatically showing us that we need to take a detour, we question and resist it. A GPS system can sometimes be wrong; but God is never wrong. So, let’s give God at least as much trust as we put into our modern-day, man-made technology!

Several years ago, I started saying this prayer every morning, adding it at the end of my daily prayer to the Holy Spirit. It is based on Psalm 25:4-5: “Show me the path where I should go, O Lord; teach me the right road to walk. Lead me in Your truth and teach me Your ways, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long.”

Here are some additional Scripture verses about God’s guidance. I hope they will inspire you in your own life’s journey:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.” ~ Psalm 32:8

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” ~ James 1:5

“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.” ~ Isaiah 30:21

“Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.” ~ Psalm 119:105

And finally, take comfort in the promise of Isaiah 42:16: “I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them.”

March 14, 2023

Meditation on Manifesting Your Goals

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In this post, I’d like to share a simple meditation exercise to help you manifest your goals for Your Ideal Life, once you have determined what they are. You can use the audio version of this post as a guided meditation, if you wish (just click arrow on player above):

The first step is to choose a quiet spot at a time when you’re least likely to be disturbed.

Turn off your cell phone and any other distracting devices that might be in the room. If noise might be a problem, use earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones through which you can play white noise, soothing nature sounds, or soft music. Be sure not to choose music which might be distracting to you. It should be calm and mellow, preferably instrumental.

Sit comfortably and begin to breathe deeply. Inhale through your nose to a count of four, hold for a count of two, then exhale through your mouth slowly to a count of 6. Do this for a couple of minutes, until you find your body relaxing and your mind slowly starting to let go of its chatter and settle into a quieter, more receptive mode.

Now, begin to meditate one-by-one on each aspect of your Ideal Life. Don’t use too much force; use a very gentle approach. I find it helpful to pretend I’m sitting in a darkened theatre, looking at a blank movie screen. Don’t get hung up on the word “visualize.” Some people will see vivid mental images start to appear on their inner movie screen, and others will get just a subtle impression. It doesn’t matter; the visualization still works either way. Treat it lightly but confidently. Visualize anything that gives you “all the feels” of achieving this goal.

See yourself immersed in the scene you hold in your mind’s eye. Use ALL of your senses. If you’re visualizing your ideal place to live, see yourself there, smiling and happy. Notice all the details about it, such as how your house looks and where it is located. Here’s an example, which you can alter to fit your own particular scenario: If your ideal place to live is by the seashore, see the beautiful blue-green water and smell the salty ocean air. Feel the gentle sea breeze caress your face and ruffle your hair. Wiggle your toes and feel the sand beneath them. Hear the crash of the waves, and the cry of the sea gulls as they fly in the air above you. Then, walk into your home and go through every room, seeing, feeling, smelling and touching everything you encounter until you really feel as though you are there. If you would like to share this home with a person or pet, see them there with you, also looking happy.

This is a good time to mention something important about goals that involve another person: It’s fine to visualize a particular someone you’d like to be with; but remember, we cannot control the destiny of another person. Your Ideal Life scenario needs to be one that they also would like to share, or it will not happen. We cannot force our dreams on someone else. Even if you managed to do so, it ultimately would lead to unhappiness. So, unless you are already with the person and they share a goal similar to yours, be willing to open to other possibilities. You can visualize that special someone, but your ultimate wish should be for whatever would be the highest good for all concerned.

Once you have thoroughly immersed yourself in one particular aspect of your Ideal Life, move on to the next one. Don’t try to force any impression that doesn’t come naturally. The important thing is that you give yourself a feeling of certainty that achieving your goal will happen. Use any means to do this. For instance, If you want to write a book, visualize an image of your book’s front cover, your name in the byline, and your picture on the back cover. See other people reading this book, enjoying it, and deriving benefit from it.

After you have visualized each aspect of your Ideal Life, your goals and aspirations, say to yourself the following affirmation: “I have what it takes to be ___________ and have __________!” Fill in the blanks with whatever is appropriate to your goal. See yourself enjoying your new life, and giving Light to others with your gifts. See yourself shining with Light, following the path of Higher Power, spreading your Light to other people in your own unique, God-given way.

Close with the following statement, which I learned from Shakti Gawain’s wonderful book, Creative Visualization: “All this or something better now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.” This is, I think, the most important step in the whole process of manifesting your Ideal Life. It acknowledges our humility and leaves the door open to God’s greater wisdom to give us what we truly need, and what will give us true joy and fulfillment.

Now, gently turn your attention back to the present time, and slowly open your eyes. If you were able to really immerse yourself in the visualization process, you will feel as though you truly were in that new life for a little while.

Take a few minutes every day to visualize your Ideal Life. You don’t have to spend hours or force yourself, but do it on a regular basis. Also spend some time daily developing your gifts, and over time you will become more skilled and successful at them. Don’t obsess over it; don’t overtire yourself or get anxious and troubled. Stay open, calm and hopeful.

There is no better way to spend one’s life than to give it to God with trust that God will do with it what is right. Tell God sincerely, “Thank You for all my many blessings. I give You all I own, all I have within me, and all I am. Take these and use them to do what You will. Help me to do Your work and use Your gifts. Open me to whatever You want for me.” Say this prayer in the morning and when you go to bed at night. This is enough to ensure that your life will be well lived. Don’t worry about the details – God will take care of them. But it’s important to truly and sincerely mean it when we give God our life! We cannot give Him only some of it and withhold a portion for ourselves. Giving Him all that we have is a difficult, but very powerful, thing to do.

As you visualize your goals, you will run up against doubts and questions. Write them down in a notebook. At the top of the page, put the date, then write out the gift or goal you want to manifest, and all your questions and problems regarding this goal, no matter how small. If you write them down and meditate on them with trust (but not fixate on them with worry or anxiety), the guidance you need eventually will come. By doing this step, you are acknowledging that you have questions and doubts about manifesting your goals, because to repress and ignore them would interfere with your ability to visualize freely. But at the same time, you are releasing them as something to be dealt as you go along, rather than an obstacle to you right now.

You might find that just by writing down these questions and concerns, something might happen to give you the answer. For instance, a friend might say something that answers your question; you might come across a book or article that gives you information you need; you might spontaneously get an insight or inspiration that gives you a new perspective on the situation; or you may awaken from a dream that gave you some guidance. You might not always know immediately that you got your answer, but if you write it all down, over time you will find that the concern is no longer troubling you. Write down that fact as well, and indicate that you are no longer troubled by this concern. Most importantly, express gratitude to God for His help!

In upcoming posts, we’ll explore how to develop a plan of action for manifesting your Ideal Life.

March 4, 2023

THE POWER OF VISUAL IMAGERY

Follow Your Dreams Scrapbook — *Photo by Lisa Fotios at Pexels*

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In my last post, we talked about how to imagine the way you would like your life to be if you had no restrictions or limitations. This week we’re going to take the first step in the plan to transform those dreams into achievable goals, by creating a visual representation of Your Ideal Life. To participate in this week’s exercise, you will need the list you created from the last episode, describing every aspect of your Ideal Life. For instance, where you would live, who you’d be with, your job or career, places you’d like to visit, your achievements, etc. If you don’t have such a list, please read my last post, “Your Ideal Life,” which will prompt you with some questions to create it.

You can choose one or more of the following – or even do them all! It’s your dream, so do whatever works. Be sure to include in whatever version you choose a photo of yourself, smiling and happy!

CREATE A VISION BOARD: Get a large piece of poster board or foam-core board, or even one of those memory boards that people use for photos. On this vision board, you will post at least one picture for each aspect of Your Ideal Life. You can write “My Ideal Life” at the top of the board if you wish. Cut pictures from magazines, print out online pictures, or draw your own. Attach the pictures to your vision board, and in the center of the board put the smiling, happy picture of yourself. Place the vision board where you will see it every day.
MAKE AN “IDEAL LIFE” SCREENSAVER: This is similar to the vision board, except that you will save the pictures to your computer as a screensaver. This is a great way to keep your goals always before your eyes! You also can post them in the image gallery of your smartphone, where you can look at them every day, or make a collage of them in a photo-editing program and use them as the home screen on your phone. The next time you have a few free minutes, browse through these images instead of checking your social media feed. Spending a few minutes focusing on your Ideal Life will be of much more benefit to you than seeing photos of what your friend from high school ate for lunch!
CREATE AN “IDEAL LIFE” SCRAPBOOK: If you enjoy scrapbooking, or simply are the type of person who feels more connected by holding a tangible object like a book, buy yourself an attractive scrapbook and mount Your Ideal Life pictures inside it. Have a separate page for each aspect of Your Ideal Life. Give the page a title, and decorate it with appropriate stickers, or draw designs on it that represent your goals. Keep it in a safe place but where it is easily accessible to you.
MAKE A TREASURE BOX: Buy an attractive box with a hinged lid, or use a decorative photo box with a lid. Embellish it any way you like with beads, glass gems, stickers, paint, etc. Inside the box put pictures and symbolic objects that represent each aspect of Your Ideal Life. For instance, if you want better finances, put some money in the box. If you want to live by the seashore, find a pretty shell and place that in the box. You can also write down each aspect of your dream on slips of paper or index cards and place those in the box as well. Don’t forget to include a smiling photo of yourself! Some people also like to put in the box a symbol of their particular faith or spiritual ideal: For example, a cross or Star of David, a holy picture or medal, a small statue, a crystal, some incense, etc. Keep the box in a prominent place of honor where you will see it often.

I have used all of these methods at one time or another. The first one I tried was the scrapbook. I was amazed a few years later when I came across the scrapbook again and saw that every one of the goals depicted in it had come true — some in a slightly different form, but very close! The scrapbook remains my favorite tool for goal visualization.

Whatever visual representation you choose, keep it handy and look at it often. You can add or subtract images to it as your ideals develop or change. You don’t have to keep it in open view if you are afraid that other people will make fun of it or otherwise discourage you (more about sharing your goals in a future post). Just make sure it’s in a place where you can easily access it.

Whenever you have enough time to give it attention, sit in a quite, comfortable place with your visual representation, and let the images, designs, objects and words permeate your consciousness. Smile as you immerse yourself in this visual representation of Your Ideal Life. If you are a meditator, incorporate this manifestation ritual into your daily meditation practice. Use a recorded guided meditation on manifesting, if it helps you focus better. I will share a guided meditation in my next post.

Another excellent way to impress your ideals on your subconscious mind is to visualize Your Ideal Life every night as you are falling asleep. It’s a great way to put yourself in a positive mood at bedtime, which also can lead to better sleep!

Once daily is enough time to spend with Your Ideal Life exercise. Do not obsess over it. You must live in the present at the same time you are visualizing your future. If you get obsessive about your goals, constantly comparing your dreams to your current less-than-ideal situation, you’ll just get depressed and discouraged about how far away you feel you are from them. When you do get disheartened because your dreams seem unattainable, just remind yourself that although you are not there yet, you are getting closer every day to a better life.

Also stay open to the idea that you might get something different from what you expect will make you happy right now, but it will be something that is actually more appropriate and attainable for you. This means remaining flexible to God’s greater wisdom, and being ready to shift gears if and when it becomes necessary.

Hold your dreams, but hold them lightly. Think of them as a little baby bird you have in your hand, who will get crushed if you squeeze it too hard. Only if you hold it gently will it grow healthy and strong enough to be able to soar one day.

Next time: A guided meditation to help you visualize your goals.

February 22, 2023

YOUR IDEAL LIFE

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As we welcomed in the new year, many people were making resolutions, but by now, less than two months later, many of these resolutions already have been abandoned. I prefer to set goals rather than make a laundry list of “should do’s” that I probably will give up after a couple of weeks because they are just so dull, tedious and uninspiring! I promise you that the exercise I’m suggesting in this post will be a lot of fun, and you’ll probably really enjoy doing it!

What I want to encourage you to do is imagine your ideal life, the life you would want to live right now, if you had absolutely no restrictions. This is the time to let go of any limitations, such as money, time, circumstances, age…anything. The only rule is that the life you imagine must be a life that would suit YOU as the person YOU are. It has to be believable for you, or it won’t work. In other words, it would be of no use to picture yourself as President of the United States, if you have no interest in politics and would never run for public office. Nor would it be realistic to imagine that you are another person entirely (i.e., your favorite celebrity or public figure). This would be so beyond the realm of possibility that you would not be able to really “get into” the whole exercise. You can imagine your fondest dreams, but they need to be YOUR dreams; they need to be something in which you can really believe!

Are we alone the “manifesters” of our destiny, of our goals? My personal belief is that all creative forces originate with God, or whatever you choose to call the Higher Power that created all things. I do, however, believe that we must open the door to God’s creative power by doing our part to formulate in our own mind what we would like our destiny to be, and the goals we would like to accomplish. God does not want us to be passive puppets who just wait around for God to act. God expects us to order our priorities, use our gifts, set reasonable, high-minded goals, and seek God’s help in attaining them.

Having said that, give your imagination free rein and ask yourself: “If I could have any situation I wanted, what sort of life do I feel would make me happy at this time?” I specify “at this time,” because our idea of what constitutes an ideal life changes and evolves as we do. Don’t worry about whether or not you might change your mind one day…this exercise is for now. Free yourself from the fear that it needs to be written in stone. This is YOUR Ideal Life, and it will develop and change as you do.

Here are some suggested questions to guide you on this imaginative journey. Jot down your answers in your journal or a notebook for further development later on. Take as much time as you need to formulate your answers. This should be an enjoyable, relaxing and uplifting pastime – no pressure. Do not get bogged down or discouraged by thinking about what your life is right now. Just let yourself dream!

In your ideal life:

Where would you be living (town, state, country)? Near the ocean, in the mountains, in a big city? Warm climate; four-season climate; colder climate with lots of snow, where you could enjoy winter sports?
Who would you be living with (if anyone)? Would you have a spouse, partner, any children, any pets?
What things would be in your environment that would make you happy (furnishings, vehicles, other possessions)?
How would you look? What would you be wearing?
How much money would make you feel secure and comfortable?
What would be your ideal job/career?
If you are retired or don’t prefer a career, what is the ideal way you would spend your time most days?
What talent or skill would you excel at and spend a lot of your time using?
Would you travel, and if so, where would you go?
What would you love to accomplish?
What would you like to leave behind as your legacy to the world? For what would you most like to be remembered?

One effective way to come up with answers is to imagine how you would feel if you found out that you had only another year to live. At first, this might seem morbid, but if you give it a try, suddenly all those unachieved goals, latent talents and unresolved issues would become front-and-center in your life. Use this as a jumping-off point to discover what really matters to you.

Now that you have your answers written down, tweak them so that they become realistic enough to be believable. For instance, if you answered that “a billion dollars” would make you feel secure and comfortable, honestly ask yourself if you really would need or be able to handle that large an amount. Would an extra $100,000, $50,000, $25,000 or $10,000 give you peace of mind? This is a personal thing; everyone’s needs and comfort levels are different. It’s true that some people will never feel secure no matter how much money they have, and this usually stems from much more deep-seated fears and insecurities, which need to be further explored. But most of us have a “magic number” that we feel would do the trick.

If your dream is to be a Broadway star or a famous singer, this could be a possibility for some of you, but could you still be happy if you performed in community theatre, or sang with a band at local venues? Sometimes all we want is a chance to share our talents and shine a little bit, even if we never become superstars. After all, we know that in many instances, fame and fortune do not always equal happiness.

After you have gone through your list of answers and come up with versions of them that seem believable to you, the next step is to formulate them into actual goals. I heard a great quote recently: “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” Dreaming alone will never help us achieve anything; we need to unite dreaming with planning and action. Some of these goals will be short-term; others might take months, and still others years. It doesn’t matter. All that matters right now is that you create a plan that will bring you step-by-step closer to your dreams.

From time to time in upcoming posts, we’ll explore more techniques to bring planning and action to your dreams to help them to manifest. For now, I wish all of you the best as you create YOUR “Ideal Life.” May all your dreams come true!

Next time: The Power of Visual Imagery

February 19, 2023

How to Succeed in Faith without Really Trying

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Dealing with Doubt

Doubt is an integral part of our human condition. No one escapes it, not even the greatest saints and spiritual masters. So how do we deal with times of doubt? It cannot be conquered by getting proof of God’s reality, because as American economist, social theorist, and author Stuart Chase once wrote, “For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible.” Nor is it helpful trying to force yourself to never have any doubts. But it is possible to have a different perspective on doubt by seeing it as a potentially valuable and powerful tool, not as a curse. Why? Because doubt sharpens our faith, the way a hard stone sharpens the edge of a knife as it is rubbed against it. As our souls are rubbed against the rough stone of doubt, we can become stronger, more courageous and confident. In the words of poet Kahlil Gibran: “Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.”

Certainly, it’s hard to see doubt as beneficial when we are deep in the throes of it, when it discourages and overwhelms us, destroying our peace of mind. At times of trouble and difficulty, we question what is happening in our lives and ask to understand. We mull over all the possible things we might have done to “deserve it” and we wonder: is God an infinitely loving Father, or an indifferent, even fierce, vengeful deity who doesn’t really care about our suffering? This is human nature, and God understands it. Doubt becomes a problem only when we honor it above all else and give God no opportunity to enlighten us.

When we read the Scriptures and other spiritual writings, we discover other people’s struggles with the same doubts with which we ourselves grapple. Recognizing that the human struggle with God’s reality and His will is an ageless one helps us to see it with greater understanding. Honoring our human free will, God never forces us to trust Him, but if we do not trust Him, He cannot help us to use our gifts as freely, and our lives will not be as fulfilling or productive. While trusting God is sometimes difficult, it stops fear, doubt, and despair faster than any human effort ever could do.

When we question God’s existence or His love, this means we are not mindless robots, but thinking, feeling, living souls who have free will and are subject to thoughts that are not always easy to live with. Never having doubts or fears would make us overconfident, taking our Creator for granted and limiting our spiritual development. We would be of no use to other people who have trouble believing in God, because we would feel self-righteous and smug, unable to understand or help them on their path to finding God.

Kindness and compassion begin with our own pain.

We might not be proud of our ignorance and fear, but they are part of our human nature, and all of us face them in ourselves and in others. By using doubt as a tool towards greater compassion for those who do not believe, we grow as souls and strengthen our own faith.

Using human reason alone can take us only so far. Acknowledging this limitation opens the door to God’s guidance. Questioning God is not sinful, but turning away from Him will close us off to His help, to enlightenment and growth.Think of it this way: if you have children who love and respect you, but sometimes question your rules or judgment, you wouldn’t feel angry about this, because you know that your children really love you and are not abandoning you because of a disagreement. But if your children totally rejected you and shut you out of their lives, you probably would feel anger or sadness, and eventually have no choice but to stop offering your help, because they are closed off to it.

Similarly, if we question God sometimes, or even get angry with Him, we don’t fall out of favor with Him. Nor do we stunt our spiritual growth, as long as we give Him enough trust to let Him guide us to a place of peace. It’s normal sometimes to question whether or not we are on the right path. Other people’s opinions on how to live our lives can upset or confuse us, but we can be sure that openness to God’s guidance will never let us down. If we continue on our path, even when we feel doubt, over time the path straightens out and we will be guided in the right direction. If we continue our efforts to trust in God, even when we feel He doesn’t care or that maybe He doesn’t even really exist, we eventually will experience stronger faith. Sometimes it’s a matter of “fake it ’till you make it.”

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Another way doubt benefits us is by causing us to seek truth with which to arrive at answers. Using prayer and seeking spiritual sources of truth to enlighten our minds is the greatest antidote to doubt. Our human nature does not attune itself to Light often enough; instead it seeks material things and intellectual pursuits to try to fill the empty spaces and supply all the answers. I once saw a sign outside a church that read: “If God feels far away, who moved?” God is love; He knows no other way to be. God does not turn away from us, but we often turn away from God. As a result, we despair and do not feel His presence. We think that God has abandoned us. But this is an illusion, not truth.

Assuming that solely by our own power we can overcome any trouble, figure out any question, and solve any problem, without God’s intervention, ultimately leads to despondency. Trying to comprehend that which is not humanly comprehensible, such as God’s Divine nature and His ways, is like trying to understand a book written in another language by reading it over and over again, without any knowledge of the language in which it is written. This would be futile. But if you seek help from someone who understands the language, this makes it possible for you to understand the book. Likewise, only God can help us overcome the anguish of total despair, which is poison to the soul.

A person caught in quicksand will sink deeper the more he struggles. If we try too hard to overcome doubt, we sink even deeper into the quicksand of fear and despair, because our efforts alone, no matter how great, will never be enough to conquer these things. A person drowning in quicksand cannot pull themself out of it, but can be pulled out by someone else. By realizing that we cannot save ourselves from fear and doubt, we can then reach out to God and let Him pull us out of it by blessing us with the gift of faith.

Dr. Elton Trueblood, author, educator, philosopher and theologian, once said, “Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.” Faith originates in God. It is His gift to us, but our souls must be open to this gift, through total surrender to God’s will. This can be done by quieting the mind through mindfulness and meditation when it starts running amok, by frequent prayer and study of spiritual truth, and by freely sharing our own experiences with other souls who are struggling on their own path to God. Like a muscle, exercising our faith strengthens it, so that when doubt comes around — and it will! — our faith will be strong enough to see us through it.

Totally surrender your doubt to God and ask Him to use it to make you stronger. Ask God sincerely to show you His presence in your life, and stay open to God’s answer. By admitting that we don’t understand, but will trust a little while longer, we discover that somehow we find our faith again in the truths we spontaneously come to comprehend. This not only strengthens us, but allows us to help other people on their own spiritual journey.

When we see doubt as a tool to sharpen our faith, we will never feel powerless against it. When we honor God, we cannot at the same time honor fear or doubt. Alone we have no power against the darkness, but with God, who is Light, we have unlimited strength and endless power! Use your doubt as a tool to help you to become a stronger person. As Jesus promised in John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

February 9, 2023

Bernadette of Lourdes: Saint of Simplicity – Pt. 2

bernadetteasanun — *Bernadette as Sister Marie-Bernarde*

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Part One summarized Bernadette’s life, highlighting the apparitions of Our Lady of Lourdes to Bernadette in 1858 and the miraculous healing spring which Bernadette unearthed at Our Lady’s direction. We took a look at some of her virtues and struggles. In Part Two, we continue to explore Bernadette’s characteristics and the many challenges she faced throughout her life.

Sense of Humor

Bernadette had a quick wit and a merry, sometimes mischievous, personality. At the convent, she often entertained the other sisters during recreation with her amusing stories and talent for mimicry. But her wit was always good-natured, never malicious or hurtful. Her sense of humor no doubt kept her from taking herself too seriously and becoming overwhelmed by the extremes of adulation and ridicule that came with being a public figure.

People often used any excuse to make her touch objects so they could have a blessed relic. Knowing their intentions, she would quip, “And after I touch it, how much more will it be worth?”

Charity

Bernadette loved nursing the sick and excelled at it. “She always had the kind word that relaxed, reassured, and got them to take their medicine,” said one of her patients. In November 1872 she was made Head Infirmarian at Nevers, a position she held until October 1873. Friendly and affectionate, she was a compassionate and understanding listener, who always had an encouraging word for the troubled or homesick novices her superiors often sent to her.

In the words of one of her fellow teachers: “I never heard her say an unbecoming word, nor fail in charity.”

Prayer

Admittedly incapable of lengthy recitations, Bernadette often repeated short prayers throughout the day, such as: “My God, I believe in You, hope in You; I love You.”

She loved common prayer but did not practice many private devotions, except the ones she considered most important: Mass, Communion, and the Stations of the Cross. She placed a strong emphasis on the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist and had a profound respect for priests. “The priest at the altar is always Jesus on earth,” she often said. “If you encounter a priest and an angel, the priest should be acknowledged first.”

Deluged with endless prayer petitions, she always agreed, on one condition: “I also need prayers. I don’t give something for nothing!” She was faithful to the Virgin’s message of prayer and penance given at Lourdes, and offered her prayers and sacrifices to Our Lord each day for the conversion of one sinner.

Although she had some initial difficulty learning the Rosary, it remained a favorite devotion throughout her life. She often recommended it to others, saying, “You will never say it in vain. Go to sleep reciting it…like little children who fall asleep saying ‘Mama’.” She also was devoted to St. Joseph and her Guardian Angel, and told a novice, “When you pass the chapel and haven’t time to stop, tell your Guardian Angel to take your messages to Our Lord in the tabernacle.”

Silence

Although vivacious and talkative by nature, when it came spiritual matters, Bernadette found God in the practice of recollection. She had difficulty with formal meditation, but loved the Congregation’s rule of silence during specified times and would break it only for the most urgent reasons.

“Silence was one of Bernadette’s fundamental traits,” said Bishop Forcade of Nevers. “Although people delight in attributing to her countless beautiful sayings that I, for my part, have never heard, I have always observed that she suffered, like everything else she did, simply and without words.”

Devotion to Mary

Bernadette never referred to the dogma of the Immaculate Conception, except when giving an account of the apparition of March 25 in which the Lady identified herself by that title. When speaking of the Blessed Virgin, she usually called her “my Good Mother,” or “my Mother in heaven.” Ironically, Bernadette’s earthly mother, Louise, died on December 8, 1866 — the feast of the Immaculate Conception! Of this Bernadette said, “The Blessed Virgin wanted it that way to show me that she would replace my mother, whom I had lost.”

Bernadette’s piety towards Mary was simple, trusting, daughterly, and like everything else about her, without ostentation. She always urged others to “love her very much,” exclaiming, “If you only knew how good the Blessed Virgin is!” When asked if the Virgin was beautiful, Bernadette replied, “So beautiful that when you’ve seen her once, you can’t wait to die see her again….When you’ve seen her, you can’t love this world anymore.”

Most of the time, however, Bernadette spoke of the Lady of Lourdes only when asked, and then her answers were brief, objective and reserved. Over time, Bernadette’s memory of the apparitions grew dimmer, and she could no longer see a clear image in her mind’s eye. But she didn’t need a picture, because it was forever engraved in her heart.

lourdesgrotto — *The Shrine of the Grotto at Lourdes as it appears today*

Our Lady’s Promise

Although Bernadette rarely spoke of the Virgin’ s words, “I cannot promise to make you happy in this world, but in the next,” she accepted them fully as her own personal penance. She did not consider the second part of the promise to be a guarantee of heaven, but conditional upon her doing what was required. Throughout her life, she suffered illness, frustration, separation from family, and every public reaction to her from veneration to curiosity to harassment and ridicule. “Oh, how tiresome this is!” she would sigh. “When will they stop treating me like a strange animal?”

A considerable amount has been written, much of it exaggerated, about the complex relationship between Bernadette and her superiors at Nevers, particularly Mother Marie-Therese Vauzou. It’s true, however, that this situation was one of Bernadette’s heaviest crosses. Mother Vauzou, despite her initial excitement at having the visionary of Lourdes join the Order, was often cold and severe with Bernadette, subjecting her to frequent humiliation and testing her almost beyond endurance.

One likely explanation was the problem presented by the entrance of so extraordinary a figure as Bernadette into the Order. The Sisters recognized the challenge of trying to treat her like any ordinary novice. Most likely, in their zeal to protect Bernadette’s soul as well as the dignity and integrity of the Congregation, her superiors sometimes carried their efforts too far.

Another factor was the basic difference in personality between Mother Vauzou and Bernadette. Mother Vauzou wanted the sisters in her charge to openly confide in her, and hoped to be privy to the innermost thoughts and soul-stirrings of the chosen one of Mary. Bernadette’s disinclination to analyze or verbalize about the spiritual life must have greatly frustrated and disappointed Mother Vauzou.

Moreover, being somewhat of a snob regarding class distinctions, Mother Vauzou was probably resentful and jealous of the graces and attention that had been showered upon Bernadette, a mere peasant girl. For Bernadette’s part, although she felt somewhat reserved and uneasy around Mother Vauzou, she loved and admired her, and suffered greatly when she didn’t receive the same affection as the other nuns did.

Whether a warmer relationship with her superiors would have jeopardized Bernadette’s sanctity is impossible to say. But she eventually attained a state of detachment that allowed her to endure such psychological suffering without complaining or harboring grudges. During a retreat, she wrote in her notes: “Work on becoming indifferent to everything my superiors or companions say or think about me….To live for God only, for God everywhere, for God always.”

Patience and Fortitude

From the age of six, Bernadette was plagued with various physical illnesses, including stomach and spleen ailments and asthma. At Nevers, she developed tuberculosis of the bone. An enormous tumor on her right knee caused her excruciating pain, and she suffered attacks of coughing so severe they nearly choked her. Eventually, disease ravaged her entire system. Agonizing sores erupted all over her body, including abscesses in her ears that affected her hearing.

In addition to physical afflictions, Bernadette experienced a “dark night of the soul,” during which she was tormented with demonic attacks and temptations of doubt and despair. She told her good friend Julie Garros in 1873: “It’s really painful not to be able to breathe, but it’s much worse to be tortured by interior distress. It’s terrifying.”

Sister Marthe once found Bernadette crying and inquired if she was feeling sick. Bernadette replied, “If you only knew everything that’s going on inside me…Pray for me!” At the heart of this inner torment were her deeply disturbing, though unwarranted, doubts about the apparitions and the fear that she “might have been mistaken” about them.

Throughout all her sufferings, Bernadette remained cheerful and patient. Her first thought was always for others rather than herself. Although she accepted her afflictions with tremendous grace and courage, she did not love suffering for its own sake or voluntarily seek it out. Despite her devotion to St. Bernard, her patron saint, she admitted, “I don’t imitate him very much. St. Bernard loved suffering, while I avoid it as much as I can.”

During the final phase of her life, Bernadette’s spirituality evolved into a state of complete abandonment to God. She removed all the holy pictures with which she had surrounded her sickbed, keeping only the crucifix. When asked why, she said, “This is enough for me.” In the throes of her deepest agony she would clutch it and say with resignation, “Now I am like Him.”

In a letter to the Pope, she wrote: “My weapons are prayer and sacrifice, which I will grip firmly to my dying breath. Only then will the weapon of sacrifice fall, but prayer will come along with me to heaven where it will be much more powerful.”

incorruptbernadette — *The partially incorrupt body of St. Bernadette at the Convent of St. Gildard in Nevers, France*

An “Exquisite Soul”

The essence of Bernadette’s sanctity is beautifully expressed in the words of Pope Pius XI, who called her “a simple miller’ s daughter, who possessed no other wealth than the candor of her exquisite soul.” In his homily at Bernadette’s canonization Mass, he said: “When one considers Bernadette’s life…[it] can be summed up in three words: Bernadette was faithful to her mission, she was humble in glory, she was valiant under trial.”

Author’s Note: I have loved St Bernadette and the story of her life and the apparitions of Our Lady of Lourdes since I was a child and first saw the beautiful movie, “The Song of Bernadette,” based on the best-selling novel by Franz Werfel. Although the novel and movie contain some fictionalized or romanticized elements, they are based on historical fact and give a wonderful overall picture of the marvelous events at Lourdes and the life of St. Bernadette Soubirous. I highly recommend both the book and the movie. Jennifer Jones gives a glowing and poignant portrayal of Bernadette, and the movie is worth watching for her performance alone, which won her the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1943. It’s hard to watch the ending without being moved to tears.

Interestingly, Franz Werfel was a German-speaking Jewish novelist, playwright and poet, born in Prague, Czechoslavakia. While escaping from the Nazis during WWII, Franz and his wife, Alma, were given refuge in Lourdes, France, where Franz heard the story of Bernadette Soubirous and the Lady. Impressed and gratified by the assistance and kindness he received from the people of Lourdes and the staff at the famous Lourdes shrine, he made a vow to write about Bernadette once he was safely settled. He and Alma eventually journeyed to California, where they lived for the rest of his life.

In fulfillment of his vow, Franz Werfel wrote “The Song of Bernadette” in 1941, which remained on the New York Times bestseller list for a year and occupied first place for 13 weeks. In Werfel’s own words: “All the memorable happenings that constitute the substance of this book took place in the world of reality…. My story makes no changes in this body of truth. I exercised my right of creative freedom only where the work, as a work of art, demanded certain chronological condensations or where there was need of striking the spark of life from the hardened substance….’The Song of Bernadette’ is a novel but not a fictive work.”

My own two-part article on this blog was based on extensive research into the life of Bernadette Soubirous, not on the Werfel novel, and I have not strayed from the facts. I mention the novel and the movie because they first kindled in me a love for Bernadette and Our Lady of Lourdes, and because I strongly feel that both are masterpieces well worth reading and watching, as I have done many times.

***

February 1, 2023

Bernadette of Lourdes: Saint of Simplicity – Part 1

young-bernadette — *Bernadette Soubirous*

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In honor of the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes on February 11, the next two episodes will focus on St. Bernadette Soubirous, the visionary who saw the apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Lourdes, France on February 1858 and subsequently brought forth the miraculous spring that brings comfort and healing – sometimes miraculous ones – to the millions of people who visit the shrine each year, Catholic and non-Catholic alike.

Some of the non-Catholic readers out there might be wondering, “What’s up with Catholics and their saints?” Contrary to the erroneous beliefs of some, Catholics do NOT “worship” the Blessed Mother or canonized saints, as worship and adoration belong to God alone. We do, however, respect and honor them, due to the fact that a human being is declared a saint by the Church because they are deemed to have exhibited “heroic virtue” during their life on earth. During the lengthy canonization process, every aspect of the candidate’s life is scrutinized meticulously by the Church. This process can take many years, even decades or centuries before they are declared canonized saints. As saints, they become role models to whom we look to for inspiration, and for whose intercession we ask. Catholics do not believe that the saints of their own power grant our requests, but that they pray to God on our behalf, just as you might ask a friend here on earth to pray for you when you are in need. So to Catholics, asking a saint to intercede for us is no different, as we consider them our heavenly friends.

If you are interested in learning more about the canonization process, the miraculous healings at Lourdes, or other aspects of St. Bernadette or Our Lady of Lourdes, I have included some links in these posts for your convenience. There also are many other resources available, online and otherwise, where you can obtain more information.

PART ONE OF TWO

On January 9, 1844 in Lourdes, a town at the foot of the Pyrenees in southwest France, two-day-old Bernadette Soubirous was being baptized. Much to the embarrassment of her relatives, she wailed incessantly throughout the entire ceremony. “All she does is cry,” her godfather complained on the way home. “She’ll be a bad one!”

Bernadette, the first child of the miller François and his wife, Louise, spent the first 10 years of her life at the Boly Mill, which her father operated. Then, in 1854, the business fell on hard times. The family, which now had grown to six, was evicted and forced to move into the dungeon room of a former prison, considered too damp and unhealthy to house criminals any longer. Despite their extreme poverty and deplorable living conditions, the Soubirous were a devout and close-knit family.

Spirited, fun-loving Bernadette was petite and pretty, with a round face, beautiful chestnut hair and gentle, velvety dark-brown eyes. As the eldest daughter, she cheerfully and efficiently performed all the traditional family duties expected of her. Although of delicate health, she was to all outward appearances an ordinary, unremarkable young girl. But on February 11, 1858, when Bernadette was 14, she had an experience that would change her life beyond anyone’s wildest dreams.

While gathering wood in the grotto at Massabielle, she saw an indescribably beautiful young lady dressed in a white veil and a white gown tied with a blue sash, standing in a niche above her. The Lady had a rosary on her arm and golden roses on her bare feet. She smiled at Bernadette and held out her arms in welcome. The astonished girl fell to her knees, instinctively reached for her rosary, and began to pray.

our-lady-of-lourdes — *The Lady of Lourdes (“Aquero”), as described by Bernadette*

This was the first of 18 apparitions occurring over a five-month period. During the third apparition, the Lady spoke for the first time. With a tender smile, she asked Bernadette, “Would you have the kindness to come here for 15 days?” At Bernadette’s consent, the Lady added, “I do not promise to make you happy in this world, but in the next.”

For many weeks, Bernadette had no idea who the Lady was; she referred to her simply as “Aquero” (“that one” or “that of which I speak”). When, at the urging of her companions, Bernadette offered the Lady pen and paper to write her name, the Lady laughed gently and replied, “It is not necessary.” On February 25, at the Lady’s direction, Bernadette unearthed an underground spring, which ever since has been a miraculous source of spiritual and physical healing.

“Aquero” finally revealed her identity during the 16^th apparition on March 25, feast of the Annunciation. Folding her hands and raising her eyes to heaven, she said: “Que soy era Immaculada Counchetsiou (I am the Immaculate Conception).”

The Immaculate Conception is a doctrine of the Church that refers to the condition that the Virgin Mary was free from Original Sin from the first moment of her conception in the womb of her mother, St. Anne. This doctrine was declared a dogma of the Church on Dec. 8, 1854; however, it would not have been part of the religious instruction curriculum during Bernadette’s childhood. Thus, the words would have been strange and incomprehensible to her. So as not to forget, Bernadette silently kept repeating the unfamiliar words all the way to the rectory, where she dutiful nadette finally knew that “Aquero” was the Blessed Virgin Mary.

In July 1866, Bernadette left Lourdes forever to join the order of the Sisters of Charity at Nevers, where she took the name Sr. Marie-Bernarde and served as Infirmarian and Sacristan. Her health continue to decline steadily, and she died on April 16, 1879, at the age of 35. She was beatified on June 14, 1925 and canonized on December 8, 1933. She is buried at the Convent of St. Gildard at Nevers. Her body remains partially incorrupt to this day.

THE SPIRITUALITY OF BERNADETTE

Bernadette’s holiness was humble, straightforward, and unpretentious. She possessed no great knowledge of theology; she was, in fact, a poor student who struggled to memorize her lessons. Her nurse, Marie Lagues, became so frustrated trying to teach the young Bernadette catechism, she threw a book across the room and shouted at the crying girl, “You’ll never know anything!”

Bernadette did not perform heroic deeds or suffer martyrdom; she died quietly in a French convent after a long and painful illness. She did not seek out suffering or extreme mortification, but accepted with grace and courage the many trials, pain, and humiliations life handed her.

She has been compared with St. Therese of Lisieux, who was 6½ years old when Bernadette died in 1879. In actuality, Bernadette was living the “Little Way” years before Therese was born. Yet, unlike Therese, who left such prolific spiritual writings that she was declared a Doctor of the Church, Bernadette has been called “the most secretive of all the saints,” because she was not given to deeply analytical, sentimental, or effusive discourses on spiritual matters. She lived her faith naturally and instinctively.

In this simplicity lies Bernadette’s appeal. She is a model we can emulate, someone whose common-sense spirituality is down-to-earth and approachable. In fact, Bernadette herself insisted on learning about the faults and spiritual trials of the saints, which humanized them and inspired her to overcome her own shortcomings. Similarly, in this series we will explore the virtues and struggles of this charmingly simple, humble saint.

Mirror of Mary

Like Mary of Nazareth, Bernadette’s life was one of poverty, humility, obedience, fortitude, and total dedication to doing the will of God. In his excellent biography, Bernadette Speaks, Fr. Rene Laurentin writes: “Chosen by God, Bernadette splendidly demonstrated the happiness of the poor. This child, unknown or disregarded, would be proclaimed blessed by all.” Father Raffin, a witness at Bernadette’s beatification process, stated: “She delighted in saying that if she had been chosen…by the Blessed Virgin, it was because of her littleness, her lowliness, so that all honor would revert to the Blessed Virgin and to the glory of God.”

Humility

Bernadette did not take pride in the great spiritual favors she had been accorded or feel she deserved them; yet neither did she resort to contrived displays of false humility. Her attitude was well-balanced and tinged with good-natured humor. “The Blessed Virgin picked me up like a pebble,” she would remark. Bernadette’s humility was the result of her awareness of being only an instrument of the Divine, of being nothing without God’s great love. “I was like a broomstick for the Blessed Virgin. When she no longer needed me, she put me in my place behind the door,” she said, adding happily, “Here I am and here I’ll stay!”

For Bernadette, poverty was a means of preserving humility. “I want to stay poor,” she told a journalist who was laying out before her the prospect of wealth. She repeatedly turned down gifts of money that well-meaning people tried to press on her and her family. “It burns me!” she would say.

Even in the convent, she received many visitors who wanted to see her and hear about her extraordinary experiences. These visits became a great trial to Bernadette, who wanted nothing more than to remain hidden and be just an ordinary nun. She did, however, dutifully see visitors when directed to do so by her superiors.

lourdes-scene — *Illustration of the grotto and miraculous spring at Lourdes during an apparition of the Blessed Virgin to Bernadette Soubirous*

One evening, a woman named Felicitie Benoit visited the convent and hoped to meet the famed visionary. While taking a walk with a short, unfamiliar nun, Felicitie asked if she could see Bernadette. “Oh, Mademoiselle!” the sister replied, “Bernadette is just like everyone else!” Felicitie later repeated to another nun her request to see Bernadette. “What?” the sister said in surprise. “You didn’t recognize her? Why, just a little while ago you were strolling with her!”

Sr. Marthe du Rais, a contemporary of Bernadette’s, described her humility: “When she received undeserved reprimands, she would say, ‘The good Lord sees my intentions. Fiat!’ and preserve the same serenity of soul. She remained friendly as before towards people who had caused her pain.” But Bernadette was realistic enough to know that pride is an elemental part of human nature. During a discussion on self-esteem, she made a circle with her thumb and forefinger and said, “Let her who doesn’t have any, put her finger here.”

Acceptance

What hurt Bernadette most was feeling useless and being called “good for nothing.” But she accepted this without bitterness, remaining always grateful to God for the many graces she had received, and to the Congregation at Nevers, whom she felt had accepted her out of charity. Like Therese of Lisieux, she wanted to do great and wonderful deeds for God, but was prevented from doing much because of poor health. She once referred to being sick as “her job.” Believing she was a burden on the motherhouse, especially as her health deteriorated, she would say, “I’m good for nothing. The only thing I can do is pray.”

Obedience

Obedience did not come easily to Bernadette, because of her quick temper, strong will, and exuberant personality. She found it hard to adjust to the strict and confining life of the convent, and sometimes reacted spontaneously despite her best efforts to conform. She would get discouraged, but this only caused her to depend more totally on God’s grace. “How I need the help of God!” she would exclaim.

Perhaps the hardest test of Bernadette’s obedience was the strict order of her superiors at Nevers not to speak to her fellow nuns about the visions of Lourdes. She naturally would have longed to share her extraordinary experience, and the other sisters were bursting with curiosity. Yet, with unflinching obedience, she kept silent about it.

“Above all, the depth of her obedience was dependent on its relationship to God,” writes René Laurentin. “He is the one whom she obeyed in all things.”

(In Part Two: Bernadette’s characteristics and challenges)

January 24, 2023

CHALLENGES TO STAYING POSITIVE

TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO VERSION, CLICK PODCAST PLAYER ARROW ABOVE

My last two posts focused on becoming aware of our thoughts and feelings, and releasing the negative to focus on the positive, so that we can discover our heart’s true yearnings. In this post, I want to talk about something that, although unpleasant, is often part of the journey towards changing our thought patterns and fulfilling our goals. This post is based on some of my personal experiences, in the hope that it will help you when you encounter something similar. So here goes:

Several years ago, I had been formulating a new set of goals that focused on several areas of my life. I was, of course, keeping watch on my thoughts and feelings so that I could remain positive. No human being can think and feel positive 100% of the time, but if we can raise the percentage to at least 51% positive vs. negative (the higher the % the better), we will see significant changes in our lives. I was very excited about my goals, and I was utilizing many of the processes for manifesting them with the Law of Attraction. This, I believe, is simply a matter of demonstrating unwavering faith in order to cooperate, or co-create, with the Divine to bring about the best circumstances for our particular life journey in accordance with the Divine plan.

Unfortunately, shortly afterwards most of the goals I had been carefully considering and planning came under fire and began to look as though they would completely fall apart. I won’t bore you with a lot of personal details, but here in a nutshell is what happened: First, an online friend, who in the past had been upbeat and positive but lately had become increasingly pessimistic, unloaded a lot of negativity and self-righteous criticism on my efforts to be positive and optimistic. This was hurtful and deflated some of my enthusiasm, despite the fact that I knew I shouldn’t let it. Then, a particular event caused my husband to get cold feet again about a relocation goal which had just been starting to get his support. Some of my efforts concerning other goals seemed to meet with indifference and lack of results (imagine cricket chirping sounds here). All in all, my confidence was badly shaken, leaving me feeling adrift, directionless, and discouraged about my goals. I was finding it extremely difficult to remain positive and hopeful.

Meanwhile, through another set of circumstances, a goal that I had not been focusing on suddenly came to the forefront. Although I did not feel receptive to it at first, I soon found myself becoming excited about that goal again, much to my surprise. So at least this was a positive development. But still, I must admit that all these circumstances threw me for a loop. They caused me to rethink my goals, putting some of them on hold, changing my strategy on others, and focusing on some I previously had not been considering. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and with the distance of several years, in many ways I now can see the wisdom of this upheaval in my plans. But at the time, it felt devastating.

I know that I am not alone in this experience. I have heard often about this sort of thing happening to other people when they begin making positive changes in their lives and pursuing their dreams. In fact, it had happened to me before, regarding goals I had set in the past, so it should not have come as a complete surprise when it happened again. Sometimes I did attain those goals eventually, and in other cases those goals were replaced with other, better ones.

So, since I have been thinking a lot about this turn of events in my own life, I thought it would be helpful to explore why things like this might happen just when we have set our goals and started to work seriously towards them. So here are six possible reasons to consider, whenever your goals seem to be falling apart:

Course Correction: Whenever I set goals, I always pray that what I am pursuing is in keeping with the Divine plan for my life. It’s never wise to doggedly and blindly pursue goals without seeking guidance. This is because we often can end up unhappy when some of our goals may not turn out to be what we expected and instead cause trouble and regret. I totally trust that God always leads me in the right direction, provided I keep an open mind and heart. So when setbacks and disappointments rear their ugly heads, I seriously consider whether Divine guidance is correcting my course and showing me that what I am pursuing is not a true goal and not beneficial to me in the long run.
Cosmic Shake-Up: Whenever we set a goal, if it is in keeping with the Divine Plan, things will be set in motion to bring it about for us. Because of this, sometimes it means that for a while everything might be in chaos. But if we stay open and trusting, we will discern whether there is something we need to do differently in pursuit of our goals. Sometimes we just need to wait a bit for “the dust to settle,” and we will see our way clear again.
Test of our Determination: How committed are we to our goals? Can we stay the course, even when other people tear down our beliefs and aspirations, even when it seems that everything is falling apart, and we feel we don’t have what it takes to succeed at our goals? Sometimes setbacks are a way of testing our determination.
Test of our Trust and Faith in the Divine: Even though we say that we want to do God’s will and don’t want any goal that is not in our best interest or for the highest good of all concerned, it’s human nature to hope deep-down that God’s will is the same as our own. So it’s only natural that when a goal appears to be crumbling, we will feel deeply disappointed, maybe even bitter and angry. But it’s important to not immediately give up on all of our goals. We need to continue to put our faith in Divine guidance and do our best to keep an open mind, trusting that if a particular goal is not meant to be, then something better will take its place.
Divine Detour: Almost all of our goals do, out of necessity, involve other people and circumstances. Because human beings have free will, sometimes they might be disinclined or unable to do their part in what is needed to allow our plans to succeed. It also can be that another person’s involvement or cooperation in our goal would not be in their best interest. This does not always mean that our goals won’t manifest, but it may mean that a detour or delay is necessary. Think of it like your GPS recalculating your route when you come across a road that’s closed.
Things in Our Life are Out of Balance: Sometimes we can develop tunnel vision about our goals and, in the process, ignore or put on the back burner other goals, gifts and areas of our life that are actually important for us to focus on right now. I suspect that this is what happened to me that time several years ago. I trust that there was a good reason why I was called upon to resurrect a particular goal that had been dormant in my life for the previous couple of years. I have now included this goal in my plans. I have been pleasantly surprised at how much I’m enjoying including it in my life again, even though at first I was reluctant, even resentful about it.

The six reasons just outlined are often why we experience setbacks, even complete chaos and confusion, when we set goals and make the decision to effect positive change in our lives. Although these “roadblocks” are disturbing and discouraging, it’s important to stay determined to remain positive and keep our minds and hearts open to where our path may lead, even if we can’t see very far ahead right now. There is a quote I love that particularly applies to times like these: “We don’t know what our future holds, but we know Who holds our future.”

January 18, 2023

Releasing Negative Thoughts & Feelings

Girl Blowing on Dandelion-resized — Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash

To listen to the audio version (podcast), click player arrow above

My previous posts (“Time to Wake Up” and “Identifying Habitual Thought Patterns”) addressed the subject of negative thinking and how it can set us up for failure at what we want to be, do, or have in life. It can keep attracting the same bad situations and adversely affect how we act and react to the world around us. We explored a number of common negative thoughts, so that we could identify the areas in which we seem to have the most trouble. In this way, we are “waking up” spiritually and mentally, by recognizing the numerous negative thoughts we have on a daily basis. If you did not see this list, please read my last post, “Identifying Habitual Thought Patterns” or listen to the audio version: https://anchor.fm/edlspirituality/episodes/IDENTIFYING-HABITUAL-THOUGHT-PATTERNS-e1svc1s

This post will explore in simple steps how to begin to change your circumstances for the better, and how to cooperate with our Creator to bring more joy, peace and abundance into your life.

Turning Negative Thoughts Around

Once we’ve identified some of our negative thought patterns, how do we turn things around? Most negativity is an expression of what we hate, fear, and want to avoid — in other words, all the things we DON’T want! Thoughts are energy, and because “like attracts like,” constantly dwelling on what we don’t want will keep bringing what we don’t want into our lives. The subconscious mind accepts everything you tell it, whether good or bad, positive or negative. For instance, if you keep thinking, “I don’t want to be poor,” “I hate being poor,” “I have no money and no prospects,” or “I need to get out of debt,” you are still focusing on poverty and debt, and probably fearing it, which is subconsciously setting you up to fall prey to more circumstances, people, and bad decisions that will keep you poor and in debt! The negative energy you are emitting will draw those negative circumstances and people to you.

To bring about change, we need to focus on what we love and yearn for, rather than what we don’t love and don’t want. Think of it this way: Supposing you went with a group of friends to an all-you-can-eat buffet. You go down the buffet table, looking at all the varieties of food, and every time you see a food that you dislike and would never want to eat, you add it to your plate. By the time you get to the end of the buffet, your dish is filled with food you can’t stand. You pay for it and go sit at the table with your friends. You sit there, not eating, feeling hungry and miserable, while your friends are heartily eating and enjoying their food.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Who the heck would do that?” Well, we do exactly that every time we waste our valuable energy by thinking and talking about what we DON’T want out of life! The friends who are enjoying their meal represent the people who focus their thoughts and energies on the things they truly want and to which they aspire — the people who love their lives and feel happy and satisfied. Meanwhile, you look on and wonder why you are so miserable. Would it help you to resent and envy them because they are enjoying their food and you’re not? No, because you chose the food yourself!

This life is a precious treasure — God’s gift to you. Your power to co-create with God the kind of life you truly want is part of this gift. Why would you waste it on things you don’t want? Why would you expend your precious time and energy perpetuating a life that is unsatisfying to you?

Remember, a random negative thought or two will not bring a host of bad things upon you. There is a time delay between our thoughts and their consequences, and positive thoughts are a great deal stronger than negative ones. That’s the good news. The bad news, though, is that sustained or habitual negative thoughts, especially when accompanied by strong emotion, will eventually attract negative things into your life. Like the food you chose at the buffet, the currency of your thoughts and feelings is capable of bringing both good and bad things to you. It’s a matter of which ones you choose.

As St. Paul wrote in his letter to the Philippians: “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute; if there is any excellence, and if anything is worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

GorgeousSunrise-Sunset_Final — Photo (without text) by Ravi Pinisetti on Unsplash

Because we have tens of thousands of thoughts a day, it is impossible to monitor each one. But an easy way to identify your predominant thoughts is to tune into your feelings, because your feelings are the result of your thoughts. Are you feeling negative emotions, such as boredom, irritability, disappointment, anger, worry, depression, hatred, envy, guilt or fear? Or are you feeling positive emotions like love, gratitude, joy, excitement, enthusiasm, hope, satisfaction?

Don’t feel guilty or afraid because you are experiencing a negative emotion or thinking a negative thought, as that is just adding more negativity! We don’t want to deny our negative emotions and pretend they don’t exist, because they often serve to point out areas in our lives that need our attention. Also, it’s natural to feel negative emotions at particular crisis points in our lives, i.e., loss of a job, end of a relationship, death of a loved one, etc. If this is the case, you must allow yourself to experience the emotions, and seek help if necessary. We’re also not talking here about serious mental or emotional illnesses, for which one needs to be under medical supervision, but rather the typical thoughts and emotions that most of us experience on a regular basis. However, even if you are going through a life crisis or suffering from a mental illness, you can still apply these principles in addition to any other help you may be receiving.

Self-awareness is the key

Once you are aware of why you are feeling a particular way, you can understand what your emotions are telling you and what changes you can make to improve your circumstances. This then allows you to achieve mastery of your conscious thoughts. One way to do this is to practice a simple form of meditation. Don’t let the word “meditation” scare you. I don’t mean that you need to sit in Lotus Position for two hours every day and chant “Om” (although this is perfectly fine if you want to do it)! The objective is simply to quiet your conscious mind for a while. You need only a few minutes, and the following practice is very simple and will become even easier with time:

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Sit comfortably in a quiet room. Turn off all electronic devices and ask to not be disturbed. Begin to focus on your breathing and/or picture a blank movie screen in your mind.
As you sit there, thoughts will naturally bubble up. Just “watch” the thoughts. Don’t get involved with them; just witness them, and then turn your mind gently but firmly back to your breathing or to the blank movie screen.
If the thought that comes up is negative, acknowledge that you had a negative thought. Do not try to resist it, because resistance means you are focused on it with powerful emotion, which only will make it stronger. Just release it without judgement or guilt.
Continue this way until the timer goes off.

Make an effort to do this every day, or at least several times a week. You will find that you feel more relaxed and focused after this, and may want to do it for longer periods. Eventually you will reach a point where the intruding thoughts will decrease, and you will experience longer periods of peace as your mind lets go of its constant chatter.

How to Deal with Persistent Negative Thoughts

If you are feeling particularly sad, angry, depressed or fearful, and these same thoughts stubbornly keep recurring, you can use the following, more in-depth exercise to get to the root of your feelings and release them:

As in the previous exercise, sit in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed, with all electronic devices turned off or in another room. Focus on your breathing until you become more relaxed.
Ask yourself why you are feeling unhappy, and express the reason out loud, i.e., “I am afraid that I won’t find another job,” or “I’m sad and lonely because my love life is terrible right now,” or “I’m depressed because I’m not feeling well.”
Once you have identified the emotion and its cause, don’t try to resist it or force it to go away. “Fighting” an emotion — like “fighting” an illness — usually doesn’t work, since it involves negative emotions like anger, resentment or resistance, which actually can attract more negativity to you and make the condition worse.
Face the negative emotion and ask it what it might be trying to teach you. Let it speak to you, without forcing it or censoring it. Learn from what it is telling you. For instance, if you are depressed because you’re sick, the reason you might hear when you ask this question is that your life was out of balance. You were stressed, rushing around, not taking time to relax, not eating and sleeping right. The illness was your body’s way of telling you to slow down and take better care of it, to bring your life into a better balance of mind, body and spirit.
Now, ask yourself if there are actionable steps you can take at the present time to help ease this negative emotion. Just writing down some small actions you can implement right away is a very effective way to ease the tension and stress you’re feeling. You can follow-up after your meditation session by doing some research for additional ideas. Eventually, you can build upon these small successes, until you begin to see a measurable improvement in your situation and your mood.
From now on, reframe your fears and negative statements into positive affirmations. For example, “I have a career that pays well and is personally fulfilling to me;” “I have many positive, loving, and uplifting relationships in my life;” “I feel healthy and whole in body, mind and spirit.” In other words, you are stating what you love and aspire to, rather than focusing on what the less-than-ideal situation might be at the current moment.
At the end of your meditation session, thank your subconscious mind for giving you the reasons and the suggestions. Tell it that you will heed the lesson, and that you no longer need to experience the negative emotions. You can picture yourself letting go of the emotion in any way you like: i.e., blowing it away like dandelion fluff, releasing it as a balloon, or watching it wash away like sand in an ocean wave. Once you learn the lessons that your negative emotion is trying to teach you, it will no longer have a strong hold on you. You will be able to release it and move on.

Once again, do not worry or become anxious about having negative thoughts, as this will attract more negative thoughts to you. We all have numerous negative thoughts occurring throughout each day, but they become a problem only when we dwell upon them and repeat them often or infuse them with strong emotion. Instead, say to yourself, “All my negative thoughts are weak, while my positive thoughts are very powerful!”

Simply by having read this post and the last one, you have become much more aware of any negative thought patterns you have. Congratulations! From now on, you will not be on “automatic pilot,” reacting in the same old way to everything that happens in your life. You now will be aware of your reactions (your thoughts) in each situation and can take action on them! Now you are in the driver’s seat of your mind, rather than a helpless and clueless passenger!

Brooding Man_Final — *Photo (w/o text) by ANDRIK ↟ LANGFIELD ↟ PETRIDES on Unsplash*

The simple forms of meditation practice given here are an excellent way to become more observant of your thoughts and feelings in order to learn to control them. Meditation has tremendous benefits for mind, body and spirit. There are many excellent books, blogs, and videos about meditation if you would like to explore this practice in more depth.

In the words of Charles Haanel, New Thought author who lived from 1866 to 1949: “Be careful of your moods and feelings, for there is an unbroken connection between your feelings and your visible world.”

Next time: How to deal with challenges to staying positive.

January 10, 2023

Identifying Habitual Thought Patterns

My last blog post, “Time to Wake Up,” addressed how what we think consciously and believe subconsciously affects how we act and react to the world around us, and how our thoughts can directly influence our future. This principle, nowadays called “The Law of Attraction (LOA),” has actually been around for thousands of years and can be found in the Bible and many other spiritual texts and teachings. So it is important that we first identify our habitual thought patterns, to see which ones are serving us and which might be holding us back from achieving the sort of life we would like to have.

Following is a series of questions to help you in this thought identification process.

Do you often say or think any of the following:

I’m too ___ (tired, sick, achy, weak, old, young, fat, ugly, stupid, etc.)
I’ll never be able to _____ (fill in the blank)
I’m not ______(fill in the blank)
I’m a bad sleeper
I can’t relax…I can’t concentrate…I can’t lose weight…I can’t get up early…I can’t _______ (fill in the blank)
I’m always late / I’m always running behind schedule
I never have any money
I’ll never get out of debt
I’m never at the right place at the right time
It’s all the fault of my dysfunctional parents/family…my bad childhood…the traits I inherited from my parents, etc.
I’m just a victim of ______.
I have no control over what happens to me
I never get a break
It’s Murphy’s Law
I just look at food and gain weight
I’m getting…(old, fat, sick, worn out, forgetful, poorer)
I’ve only got a few more years left
I’m not ____ enough (i.e., smart, attractive, thin, talented, skilled, educated, rich) — or: I don’t have enough ______ (brains, education, looks, money, ability, luck, talent, etc.)
Something that good can never happen to me
I’d never be so lucky
I never win anything
Other people get everything, and I get nothing
This is just my luck (or) I never have any luck
I hate that person
I look horrible in everything I put on
I never take a good picture
I’ll never have enough ____ (money, time, ability, health, etc.)
I’m so afraid of _____
I really dread _______
I’m not feeling well – it’s probably cancer
I will probably get (name the disease), because it runs in my family (or because so many people get it).
I live in constant fear of getting (this disease).
I HATE (cancer, diabetes, asthma – or any disease)
We must FIGHT cancer (or other disease or problem)
Getting old sucks
I’m getting senile
I just can’t lose weight
I can’t cope with this
What if _____ (imagining something bad and then worrying about it)
I always have too much work
I hate my job and I’ll never get a better one
I don’t have enough to give to or share with anyone else
I’ll never forgive _____ (fill in name(s))
I’m too…(old, tired, busy, far gone)…to care about my looks or my health anymore
Everyone gets (fat, sick, high blood pressure, diabetes, memory loss) as they age.
I’m just falling apart
It’s hopeless
I never get good weather on my vacations or when I plan something

Do you often:

Gossip or complain about someone, or join in gossip/complaining about someone?
Try to instigate trouble and bad feeling among others?
Argue over and/or ridicule someone’s political or spiritual opinions?
End a friendship or become estranged from a family member because of differing political or spiritual beliefs?
Feel you have nothing to be thankful for?
Compare yourself negatively to other people?
Make nasty, snide or critical comments or cruel jokes in person or on social media?
Refuse to buy something you really wanted or needed, even though you have more than enough money to afford it, because you’re afraid to spend any money?
Make self-deprecating comments or denials when someone compliments you?
Criticize someone, and/or try to make someone else do things your way?
Harbor resentment or bitterness towards someone? Keep thinking about how to get even? Wish bad things on them?
Respond instantly with anger to someone else’s words or actions?
Try to control and “fix” other people’s lives rather than letting them learn from their experiences in their own way?
Frequently make or share self-deprecating remarks or jokes about being stupid, fat, old, forgetful, or other negative things?
Forward emails or share social media posts encouraging hatred against anyone or anything (political figures, celebrities, certain races, ethnic groups, religions, etc.)?
Say, “I HATE____” (fill in the blanks)?
Talk at length and frequently about your illnesses or someone else’s?
Feel envy towards someone? Withhold a compliment from someone because you secretly envy them?
Try to take something/someone away from a person because you think you deserve it more? Try to turn others against someone because you’re jealous?
Constantly worry about your loved ones and what could happen to them, or about losing your partner, your money, your health, etc.?

Okay, so you probably identified with at least several – and maybe a lot – of these. Some of them might rarely or never pertain to you, while others are fairly frequent. If so, welcome to the human race! We ALL think, say or do these things from time to time. A fleeting thought or occasional slip-up won’t have a significant effect on your life or your future. If, however, you habitually think, do or say any of them, and if the thoughts carry a strong emotional charge, you are setting yourself up to attract exactly what you say you hate, fear and don’t want! This is because our subconscious mind believes everything we tell it, whether it’s true, false, good or bad. It is merely responding to our conscious thoughts, words and actions, like an obedient, cooperative child. It doesn’t analyze whether the thoughts are good or bad for you, positive or negative. Analyzing and choosing are the domain of the conscious mind; the subconscious just accepts what we tell it.

Consequently, with our negative thoughts we will attract, or subconsciously be attracted to, just the circumstances and people that we want so much to avoid! Also, fighting against something negative is never as effective as striving instead to bring about a positive result. For example, instead of hating and “fighting” a disease, it’s better instead to think wellness and health, and do whatever we can to promote these positive qualities. Mother Teresa, now St. Teresa of Calcutta, was quoted as saying:“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”

Negative thinking also will block any good things that God wants to send us. Nothing is forced on us by God, who respects and honors our free will. Negative thinking is like keeping your hands behind your back when someone offers you a gift. You cannot accept the gift unless your hands are open to receive it.

LOA experts recommend that we shift our positive thoughts to at least 51% over the negative ones. Even this 1% over the halfway mark could be enough to dramatically change one’s life. I believe that the more we can shift our thoughts from the negative to the positive, the quicker and more dramatic the change will be!

Legend says that in the Buddha’s travels, he encountered a man who was awed by his peaceful, radiant persona. The man asked, “My friend, what are you? Are you a celestial being? Are you a god? A magician? A wizard?” The Buddha replied, “No. I am awake.”

Jesus told His followers that if they had faith “the size of a mustard seed” they could move mountains. He also told them that, with enough faith and belief, they could do all the things that He had done, and even greater things.

*Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash*

We cannot even begin to improve our lives unless we become awake and aware of the negative thoughts and lack of faith we harbor on a daily basis. Otherwise, we walk around in a perpetual state of “automatic pilot” and unconsciousness. Once you become aware, you will begin to notice any instances in which you are thinking or speaking negatively. You also will be shocked and dismayed at all the negativity you will notice around you from other people! In upcoming posts we’ll examine these negative thoughts and attitudes and explore ways to bring about positive change and achieve our goals and dreams.

Have a positively wonderful day!

Everyday Life Spirituality

Inspiration for living every day to the fullest!

The Traveler

Meditation on Manifesting Your Goals

THE POWER OF VISUAL IMAGERY

YOUR IDEAL LIFE

How to Succeed in Faith without Really Trying

Dealing with Doubt

Kindness and compassion begin with our own pain.

Bernadette of Lourdes: Saint of Simplicity – Pt. 2

Bernadette of Lourdes: Saint of Simplicity – Part 1

CHALLENGES TO STAYING POSITIVE

Releasing Negative Thoughts & Feelings

Turning Negative Thoughts Around

Self-awareness is the key

How to Deal with Persistent Negative Thoughts

Identifying Habitual Thought Patterns

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Dealing with Doubt

Kindness and compassion begin with our own pain.

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Turning Negative Thoughts Around

Self-awareness is the key

How to Deal with Persistent Negative Thoughts

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