April 4, 2023

SHARING YOUR GOALS

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So, you’ve decided on the goals you want to achieve in order to transform your life into something more closely resembling your ideal. You’re very excited and want to share your goals with others, seeking their support and encouragement. But should you rush out and broadcast your precious ambitions to everyone you know? Should you post about it on social media, talk about it with your friends over lunch, call your family and confide all your plans to them? How do you decide how much, if anything, to share, and with whom? This is a complicated issue and a personal decision, which calls for careful consideration.

There are, of course, advantages to sharing your goals with the right people: Speaking your heart’s desire out loud may help it to manifest. It’s fun to share your vision of Your Ideal Life with people you know, especially at the beginning when you’re bursting at the seams to talk about it to someone! Sharing your goals can help keep you accountable, because when other people know about your goals, it makes it harder for you to slack off on working towards fulfilling them.

You may feel it would be helpful to get other people’s opinions on the goals you have chosen. This, however, can be a double-edged sword. It’s true that an objective third party might be able to point out where you possibly can tweak or rethink a certain goal, and upon reflection you might decide they’re right. But on the other hand, these are YOUR goals, and your best source of guidance is to pray about them and follow where your deep intuition leads you, rather than take someone else’s words at face value. Of course, if your Ideal Life will include another person who has similar goals (for instance, a spouse or partner), you can be of great help to one another by sharing your dreams and aspirations. Two people working toward the same goals is doubly powerful!

If you have a very supportive relative or friend whom you trust implicitly and know will support you and have your best interests at heart, sharing your goals with them can be very edifying to you. Because they love you, they will encourage you in any way they can. Sometimes, they even might be able to assist you in practical ways to achieve them.

The important thing, though, is to be very selective and extremely careful about any person to whom you choose to entrust your most cherished dreams. As unpleasant as it may be to acknowledge, there always will be people out there who do not wish the best for you. They will be more than happy to shoot down your most cherished dreams, telling you every conceivable reason why you cannot possibly attain them, thus filling you with doubt and insecurity. This could be because of their natural negativity or bitterness, a narrow-minded, cynical viewpoint, or rigid, fatalistic religious beliefs. If you know people like this, do not share your goals and dreams with them. They will only undermine your confidence and possibly discourage you from even trying.

You also might invite envy from people who are too lazy or uninspired to set and pursue their own goals. Such people might openly ridicule you, both to your face and behind your back, because they envy your ambition and optimism. Sometimes they may actually try to sabotage your efforts to attain your goals. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles.” Proverbs 21:23

Another drawback is that revealing your intentions and plans can put you in the position of having to defend them to other people, which is unnecessary and can cause your confidence to falter. You do not have to defend your goals to anyone; they are yours, and nobody has the right to challenge you about them, as long as they will not cause harm to other people.

Once having spoken about your goals, you might then become fearful of looking foolish if you fail. This lack of confidence can cause you to sabotage your own efforts. Also, sometimes our goals will change with time. If this happens with some of your goals, you might feel silly admitting this to people, who may not take you seriously after that.

Most importantly, sometimes people close to you might feel threatened by this new vision of your Ideal Life. They may feel that you will change and no longer be the person they feel comfortable with. Many times, family, spouses and friends secretly don’t want you to succeed, not necessarily out of malice, but out of fear that it will change your relationship with them. This is possible, because as you grow and change for the better as a result of your goals, you may well lose people who cannot accept the new you, nor grow and change along with you. This is a part of the process that you need to be willing to face.

One very important thing to realize is that the energy we expend by talking about our goals will sometimes seriously deplete the energy we have left to actually pursue them. Ever notice how the people you know who do the most talking usually accomplish the least? Although there is merit in “speaking your goals out loud” to yourself or to a select few people, wasting too much time and energy talking about all the wonderful things you plan to do may mean that by the time you decide to start working on them, you are already tired of the subject and find your enthusiasm has waned, rather than grown stronger. Talkers talk, but doers do — so be a doer, not a talker!

“Stop talking to people about what you will do; show them instead what you are doing.” says British psychologist, author, and broadcaster Robert Holden, PhD.

When you have achieved your goals and are well on the way to your Ideal Life, you’ll find that other people will want to talk to you about what you have accomplished, rather than the other way around. You can then use your experiences and success to help, inspire, and encourage them to work towards their own best life!

In most cases, it might be wise, especially at the beginning, to limit your goals and plans to your vision board, goal scrapbook, treasure box, or Ideal Life screensaver, as described in my previous post, “The Power of Visual Imagery.” Cherish your dreams within your heart and talk them over with God, and with your Guardian Angel or Guide if this fits into your personal beliefs. Ask for support and direction from the spiritual realm rather than the earthly one. Create your plan of action and then implement it, instead of wasting time and energy, and risking possible setbacks, by talking about them with other people.

*Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels*

In the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Well done is better than well said….Words may show a man’s wit, but actions his meaning.”

March 21, 2023

The Traveler: Finding Direction on Life’s Journey

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Do you sometimes feel lost and confused about what direction to take in your life?

Some years ago, I was facing a lot of changes and adjustments, as well as new opportunities and possibilities (including a new job). Naturally, I was feeling excited yet stressed, encouraged yet confused. I was praying about all of it, of course, but still felt somewhat overwhelmed. I asked for a sign to help me know what direction to take with some of my goals. One night, I had the following dream:

Dream: “The Unknown Road”

As the dream begins, I am driving my car along a beautiful but unfamiliar country road. I am alone, with no particular destination in mind – just going for a ride on a beautiful summer day. I am driving carefully, especially at intersections, although there is little traffic in that rural area. The scenery is gorgeous, with gentle, rolling green hills in the distance, and the sky is a lovely blue with some puffy cumulus clouds. But then I notice some wisps of black in the sky and become frightened, thinking a storm is approaching. Then I see some men fixing the road up ahead and realize that it had not been black clouds that I had seen, but smoke rising from a machine that is mixing hot asphalt.

The road then ends at a “T”-type intersection. I don’t know whether to turn left or right. I pull over to the side, stop the car and get out, looking for a street or destination sign, but see none. The scenery here is breathtaking, because up ahead I see beautiful mountains and an enormous cathedral, bigger than any building I’ve ever seen, with the ornate, beautiful architecture common in old cathedrals. As I scan the panorama, I’m dismayed to see some ugly industrial buildings to the right and left in the distance. I think what a shame it is that they’re spoiling the beautiful landscape. The sight of them lends an eerie, desolate aspect to the scenery, giving me a creepy feeling. I wonder if I should ask someone where I am, so that I can figure out how to get back home. At first I resist, because I really had wanted to figure it out for myself, but with no signs to guide me, it doesn’t seem possible.

As the dream ends, I realize that I’ll have to ask someone for directions.

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When I awoke, I realized how perfectly symbolic this dream was of my current situation. Roads, of course, symbolize the path we are taking in life. The road I was on, though beautiful, was rather narrow, which brought to mind “the narrow way” mentioned in the Gospels, and it was long and winding, showing that I still have far to go. The black clouds that I saw, which turned out to be harmless smoke from a truck doing street repairs, seemed to mean that some of my fears were groundless, and that my attempts to “repair” the things that are wrong in my life might be scary and upsetting sometimes, but necessary.

The T-intersection symbolized the fact that I can’t travel in the same direction forever; eventually I will come to a crossroads and have to make a decision and choose a new direction. I believed that the great cathedral in the distance represented my spiritual aspirations, and its huge size showed that it was an extremely important aspect of my life. The industrial buildings felt “creepy” and also made me angry with the way they ruined the beautiful landscape. Since industry is another word for work, I felt that they symbolized my fear of being overwhelmed with mundane work to the point where I’d be unable to fulfill my higher ambitions and spiritual goals.

The dream was inconclusive, because it ended with my still being at the crossroads. To get more insight into this dream and what it might be trying to tell me, I put my mind into a passive, receptive state and used my personal method to connect with my inner guidance. Through the process of inspirational writing, I received the following message about my dream:

“Become as a traveler who is not totally sure of the way, so he asks Someone who knows the area well to guide him. From the traveler’s viewpoint, sometimes the road will be deceptive. He might think one direction will lead him where he wants to go, only to find that it winds around and around, and he ends up back where he started. The wise traveler will admit his ignorance of the way and seek help. He will follow the direction of a knowledgeable person, even though sometimes the road that is pointed out seems like it could not possibly be the right one. The shortest path is sometimes the wrong one, and the experienced guide will know this, but the traveler, who is unfamiliar with the territory, will not.

“If sometimes the road ahead looks deceptively easy and you are fooled into thinking it is the right one, you might get lost. But if you seek the help of God, Who knows the way, you will never go wrong. You still might have to travel a great distance, go over many obstacles and follow a very tortuous road, but in the end you will reach your goal.

“The traveler who goes nowhere is the one who is too proud to ask directions, who goes his own way no matter what the circumstances. Do not be like this traveler, but like the one who is humble enough to know when he needs guidance.

“Ignore those who will tell you that sometimes you must hurt others to get ahead. If you aspire to this sort of success, you are on the wrong path. ‘Getting ahead’ this way is only a euphemism for selfishly grasping at things that are only temporary. This will give you nothing but grief. You will ponder what you achieved and find it empty. Honor first what God has asked of you — to use your gifts and talents for the benefit of others and to glorify God. If you do this, you will achieve your goals, find true contentment, and overcome the obstacles which hinder your growth. This will give you a freedom that no earthly success can ever give. Do not heed the discordant voices that try to lead you astray. They are only empty noise in a space that is devoid of any true peace or happiness.”

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I have shared this dream and message to encourage you, if you are feeling lost and confused about what direction to take in your own life. After you consider all the known choices you can make and paths you can take, surrender it to Higher Power. Ask to be shown the way, through your own inner guidance. Do not depend only on your intellect; leave room for your intuition and inner knowing. Open your mind to possibilities and opportunities you may have not considered yet, and try not to cling stubbornly to ideas that clearly are not working out and need to be revised or discarded.

It’s funny how we usually trust a GPS system to tell us how to get to a destination. If we make a wrong turn and find ourselves being corrected by the GPS, would we sit in our car and argue with it, insisting that the road we took, which is clearly in the opposite direction, is the right one and that the GPS is wrong? No, most of the time we will follow the GPS directions without question. Yet, when our inner guidance, directed by Higher Power, is emphatically showing us that we need to take a detour, we question and resist it. A GPS system can sometimes be wrong; but God is never wrong. So, let’s give God at least as much trust as we put into our modern-day, man-made technology!

Several years ago, I started saying this prayer every morning, adding it at the end of my daily prayer to the Holy Spirit. It is based on Psalm 25:4-5: “Show me the path where I should go, O Lord; teach me the right road to walk. Lead me in Your truth and teach me Your ways, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long.”

Here are some additional Scripture verses about God’s guidance. I hope they will inspire you in your own life’s journey:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.” ~ Psalm 32:8

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” ~ James 1:5

“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.” ~ Isaiah 30:21

“Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.” ~ Psalm 119:105

And finally, take comfort in the promise of Isaiah 42:16: “I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them.”

March 14, 2023

Meditation on Manifesting Your Goals

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In this post, I’d like to share a simple meditation exercise to help you manifest your goals for Your Ideal Life, once you have determined what they are. You can use the audio version of this post as a guided meditation, if you wish (just click arrow on player above):

The first step is to choose a quiet spot at a time when you’re least likely to be disturbed.

Turn off your cell phone and any other distracting devices that might be in the room. If noise might be a problem, use earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones through which you can play white noise, soothing nature sounds, or soft music. Be sure not to choose music which might be distracting to you. It should be calm and mellow, preferably instrumental.

Sit comfortably and begin to breathe deeply. Inhale through your nose to a count of four, hold for a count of two, then exhale through your mouth slowly to a count of 6. Do this for a couple of minutes, until you find your body relaxing and your mind slowly starting to let go of its chatter and settle into a quieter, more receptive mode.

Now, begin to meditate one-by-one on each aspect of your Ideal Life. Don’t use too much force; use a very gentle approach. I find it helpful to pretend I’m sitting in a darkened theatre, looking at a blank movie screen. Don’t get hung up on the word “visualize.” Some people will see vivid mental images start to appear on their inner movie screen, and others will get just a subtle impression. It doesn’t matter; the visualization still works either way. Treat it lightly but confidently. Visualize anything that gives you “all the feels” of achieving this goal.

See yourself immersed in the scene you hold in your mind’s eye. Use ALL of your senses. If you’re visualizing your ideal place to live, see yourself there, smiling and happy. Notice all the details about it, such as how your house looks and where it is located. Here’s an example, which you can alter to fit your own particular scenario: If your ideal place to live is by the seashore, see the beautiful blue-green water and smell the salty ocean air. Feel the gentle sea breeze caress your face and ruffle your hair. Wiggle your toes and feel the sand beneath them. Hear the crash of the waves, and the cry of the sea gulls as they fly in the air above you. Then, walk into your home and go through every room, seeing, feeling, smelling and touching everything you encounter until you really feel as though you are there. If you would like to share this home with a person or pet, see them there with you, also looking happy.

This is a good time to mention something important about goals that involve another person: It’s fine to visualize a particular someone you’d like to be with; but remember, we cannot control the destiny of another person. Your Ideal Life scenario needs to be one that they also would like to share, or it will not happen. We cannot force our dreams on someone else. Even if you managed to do so, it ultimately would lead to unhappiness. So, unless you are already with the person and they share a goal similar to yours, be willing to open to other possibilities. You can visualize that special someone, but your ultimate wish should be for whatever would be the highest good for all concerned.

Once you have thoroughly immersed yourself in one particular aspect of your Ideal Life, move on to the next one. Don’t try to force any impression that doesn’t come naturally. The important thing is that you give yourself a feeling of certainty that achieving your goal will happen. Use any means to do this. For instance, If you want to write a book, visualize an image of your book’s front cover, your name in the byline, and your picture on the back cover. See other people reading this book, enjoying it, and deriving benefit from it.

After you have visualized each aspect of your Ideal Life, your goals and aspirations, say to yourself the following affirmation: “I have what it takes to be ___________ and have __________!” Fill in the blanks with whatever is appropriate to your goal. See yourself enjoying your new life, and giving Light to others with your gifts. See yourself shining with Light, following the path of Higher Power, spreading your Light to other people in your own unique, God-given way.

Close with the following statement, which I learned from Shakti Gawain’s wonderful book, Creative Visualization: “All this or something better now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.” This is, I think, the most important step in the whole process of manifesting your Ideal Life. It acknowledges our humility and leaves the door open to God’s greater wisdom to give us what we truly need, and what will give us true joy and fulfillment.

Now, gently turn your attention back to the present time, and slowly open your eyes. If you were able to really immerse yourself in the visualization process, you will feel as though you truly were in that new life for a little while.

Take a few minutes every day to visualize your Ideal Life. You don’t have to spend hours or force yourself, but do it on a regular basis. Also spend some time daily developing your gifts, and over time you will become more skilled and successful at them. Don’t obsess over it; don’t overtire yourself or get anxious and troubled. Stay open, calm and hopeful.

There is no better way to spend one’s life than to give it to God with trust that God will do with it what is right. Tell God sincerely, “Thank You for all my many blessings. I give You all I own, all I have within me, and all I am. Take these and use them to do what You will. Help me to do Your work and use Your gifts. Open me to whatever You want for me.” Say this prayer in the morning and when you go to bed at night. This is enough to ensure that your life will be well lived. Don’t worry about the details – God will take care of them. But it’s important to truly and sincerely mean it when we give God our life! We cannot give Him only some of it and withhold a portion for ourselves. Giving Him all that we have is a difficult, but very powerful, thing to do.

As you visualize your goals, you will run up against doubts and questions. Write them down in a notebook. At the top of the page, put the date, then write out the gift or goal you want to manifest, and all your questions and problems regarding this goal, no matter how small. If you write them down and meditate on them with trust (but not fixate on them with worry or anxiety), the guidance you need eventually will come. By doing this step, you are acknowledging that you have questions and doubts about manifesting your goals, because to repress and ignore them would interfere with your ability to visualize freely. But at the same time, you are releasing them as something to be dealt as you go along, rather than an obstacle to you right now.

You might find that just by writing down these questions and concerns, something might happen to give you the answer. For instance, a friend might say something that answers your question; you might come across a book or article that gives you information you need; you might spontaneously get an insight or inspiration that gives you a new perspective on the situation; or you may awaken from a dream that gave you some guidance. You might not always know immediately that you got your answer, but if you write it all down, over time you will find that the concern is no longer troubling you. Write down that fact as well, and indicate that you are no longer troubled by this concern. Most importantly, express gratitude to God for His help!

In upcoming posts, we’ll explore how to develop a plan of action for manifesting your Ideal Life.

February 22, 2023

YOUR IDEAL LIFE

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As we welcomed in the new year, many people were making resolutions, but by now, less than two months later, many of these resolutions already have been abandoned. I prefer to set goals rather than make a laundry list of “should do’s” that I probably will give up after a couple of weeks because they are just so dull, tedious and uninspiring! I promise you that the exercise I’m suggesting in this post will be a lot of fun, and you’ll probably really enjoy doing it!

What I want to encourage you to do is imagine your ideal life, the life you would want to live right now, if you had absolutely no restrictions. This is the time to let go of any limitations, such as money, time, circumstances, age…anything. The only rule is that the life you imagine must be a life that would suit YOU as the person YOU are. It has to be believable for you, or it won’t work. In other words, it would be of no use to picture yourself as President of the United States, if you have no interest in politics and would never run for public office. Nor would it be realistic to imagine that you are another person entirely (i.e., your favorite celebrity or public figure). This would be so beyond the realm of possibility that you would not be able to really “get into” the whole exercise. You can imagine your fondest dreams, but they need to be YOUR dreams; they need to be something in which you can really believe!

Are we alone the “manifesters” of our destiny, of our goals? My personal belief is that all creative forces originate with God, or whatever you choose to call the Higher Power that created all things. I do, however, believe that we must open the door to God’s creative power by doing our part to formulate in our own mind what we would like our destiny to be, and the goals we would like to accomplish. God does not want us to be passive puppets who just wait around for God to act. God expects us to order our priorities, use our gifts, set reasonable, high-minded goals, and seek God’s help in attaining them.

Having said that, give your imagination free rein and ask yourself: “If I could have any situation I wanted, what sort of life do I feel would make me happy at this time?” I specify “at this time,” because our idea of what constitutes an ideal life changes and evolves as we do. Don’t worry about whether or not you might change your mind one day…this exercise is for now. Free yourself from the fear that it needs to be written in stone. This is YOUR Ideal Life, and it will develop and change as you do.

Here are some suggested questions to guide you on this imaginative journey. Jot down your answers in your journal or a notebook for further development later on. Take as much time as you need to formulate your answers. This should be an enjoyable, relaxing and uplifting pastime – no pressure. Do not get bogged down or discouraged by thinking about what your life is right now. Just let yourself dream!

In your ideal life:

Where would you be living (town, state, country)? Near the ocean, in the mountains, in a big city? Warm climate; four-season climate; colder climate with lots of snow, where you could enjoy winter sports?
Who would you be living with (if anyone)? Would you have a spouse, partner, any children, any pets?
What things would be in your environment that would make you happy (furnishings, vehicles, other possessions)?
How would you look? What would you be wearing?
How much money would make you feel secure and comfortable?
What would be your ideal job/career?
If you are retired or don’t prefer a career, what is the ideal way you would spend your time most days?
What talent or skill would you excel at and spend a lot of your time using?
Would you travel, and if so, where would you go?
What would you love to accomplish?
What would you like to leave behind as your legacy to the world? For what would you most like to be remembered?

One effective way to come up with answers is to imagine how you would feel if you found out that you had only another year to live. At first, this might seem morbid, but if you give it a try, suddenly all those unachieved goals, latent talents and unresolved issues would become front-and-center in your life. Use this as a jumping-off point to discover what really matters to you.

Now that you have your answers written down, tweak them so that they become realistic enough to be believable. For instance, if you answered that “a billion dollars” would make you feel secure and comfortable, honestly ask yourself if you really would need or be able to handle that large an amount. Would an extra $100,000, $50,000, $25,000 or $10,000 give you peace of mind? This is a personal thing; everyone’s needs and comfort levels are different. It’s true that some people will never feel secure no matter how much money they have, and this usually stems from much more deep-seated fears and insecurities, which need to be further explored. But most of us have a “magic number” that we feel would do the trick.

If your dream is to be a Broadway star or a famous singer, this could be a possibility for some of you, but could you still be happy if you performed in community theatre, or sang with a band at local venues? Sometimes all we want is a chance to share our talents and shine a little bit, even if we never become superstars. After all, we know that in many instances, fame and fortune do not always equal happiness.

After you have gone through your list of answers and come up with versions of them that seem believable to you, the next step is to formulate them into actual goals. I heard a great quote recently: “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” Dreaming alone will never help us achieve anything; we need to unite dreaming with planning and action. Some of these goals will be short-term; others might take months, and still others years. It doesn’t matter. All that matters right now is that you create a plan that will bring you step-by-step closer to your dreams.

From time to time in upcoming posts, we’ll explore more techniques to bring planning and action to your dreams to help them to manifest. For now, I wish all of you the best as you create YOUR “Ideal Life.” May all your dreams come true!

Next time: The Power of Visual Imagery

January 24, 2023

CHALLENGES TO STAYING POSITIVE

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My last two posts focused on becoming aware of our thoughts and feelings, and releasing the negative to focus on the positive, so that we can discover our heart’s true yearnings. In this post, I want to talk about something that, although unpleasant, is often part of the journey towards changing our thought patterns and fulfilling our goals. This post is based on some of my personal experiences, in the hope that it will help you when you encounter something similar. So here goes:

Several years ago, I had been formulating a new set of goals that focused on several areas of my life. I was, of course, keeping watch on my thoughts and feelings so that I could remain positive. No human being can think and feel positive 100% of the time, but if we can raise the percentage to at least 51% positive vs. negative (the higher the % the better), we will see significant changes in our lives. I was very excited about my goals, and I was utilizing many of the processes for manifesting them with the Law of Attraction. This, I believe, is simply a matter of demonstrating unwavering faith in order to cooperate, or co-create, with the Divine to bring about the best circumstances for our particular life journey in accordance with the Divine plan.

Unfortunately, shortly afterwards most of the goals I had been carefully considering and planning came under fire and began to look as though they would completely fall apart. I won’t bore you with a lot of personal details, but here in a nutshell is what happened: First, an online friend, who in the past had been upbeat and positive but lately had become increasingly pessimistic, unloaded a lot of negativity and self-righteous criticism on my efforts to be positive and optimistic. This was hurtful and deflated some of my enthusiasm, despite the fact that I knew I shouldn’t let it. Then, a particular event caused my husband to get cold feet again about a relocation goal which had just been starting to get his support. Some of my efforts concerning other goals seemed to meet with indifference and lack of results (imagine cricket chirping sounds here). All in all, my confidence was badly shaken, leaving me feeling adrift, directionless, and discouraged about my goals. I was finding it extremely difficult to remain positive and hopeful.

Meanwhile, through another set of circumstances, a goal that I had not been focusing on suddenly came to the forefront. Although I did not feel receptive to it at first, I soon found myself becoming excited about that goal again, much to my surprise. So at least this was a positive development. But still, I must admit that all these circumstances threw me for a loop. They caused me to rethink my goals, putting some of them on hold, changing my strategy on others, and focusing on some I previously had not been considering. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and with the distance of several years, in many ways I now can see the wisdom of this upheaval in my plans. But at the time, it felt devastating.

I know that I am not alone in this experience. I have heard often about this sort of thing happening to other people when they begin making positive changes in their lives and pursuing their dreams. In fact, it had happened to me before, regarding goals I had set in the past, so it should not have come as a complete surprise when it happened again. Sometimes I did attain those goals eventually, and in other cases those goals were replaced with other, better ones.

So, since I have been thinking a lot about this turn of events in my own life, I thought it would be helpful to explore why things like this might happen just when we have set our goals and started to work seriously towards them. So here are six possible reasons to consider, whenever your goals seem to be falling apart:

Course Correction: Whenever I set goals, I always pray that what I am pursuing is in keeping with the Divine plan for my life. It’s never wise to doggedly and blindly pursue goals without seeking guidance. This is because we often can end up unhappy when some of our goals may not turn out to be what we expected and instead cause trouble and regret. I totally trust that God always leads me in the right direction, provided I keep an open mind and heart. So when setbacks and disappointments rear their ugly heads, I seriously consider whether Divine guidance is correcting my course and showing me that what I am pursuing is not a true goal and not beneficial to me in the long run.
Cosmic Shake-Up: Whenever we set a goal, if it is in keeping with the Divine Plan, things will be set in motion to bring it about for us. Because of this, sometimes it means that for a while everything might be in chaos. But if we stay open and trusting, we will discern whether there is something we need to do differently in pursuit of our goals. Sometimes we just need to wait a bit for “the dust to settle,” and we will see our way clear again.
Test of our Determination: How committed are we to our goals? Can we stay the course, even when other people tear down our beliefs and aspirations, even when it seems that everything is falling apart, and we feel we don’t have what it takes to succeed at our goals? Sometimes setbacks are a way of testing our determination.
Test of our Trust and Faith in the Divine: Even though we say that we want to do God’s will and don’t want any goal that is not in our best interest or for the highest good of all concerned, it’s human nature to hope deep-down that God’s will is the same as our own. So it’s only natural that when a goal appears to be crumbling, we will feel deeply disappointed, maybe even bitter and angry. But it’s important to not immediately give up on all of our goals. We need to continue to put our faith in Divine guidance and do our best to keep an open mind, trusting that if a particular goal is not meant to be, then something better will take its place.
Divine Detour: Almost all of our goals do, out of necessity, involve other people and circumstances. Because human beings have free will, sometimes they might be disinclined or unable to do their part in what is needed to allow our plans to succeed. It also can be that another person’s involvement or cooperation in our goal would not be in their best interest. This does not always mean that our goals won’t manifest, but it may mean that a detour or delay is necessary. Think of it like your GPS recalculating your route when you come across a road that’s closed.
Things in Our Life are Out of Balance: Sometimes we can develop tunnel vision about our goals and, in the process, ignore or put on the back burner other goals, gifts and areas of our life that are actually important for us to focus on right now. I suspect that this is what happened to me that time several years ago. I trust that there was a good reason why I was called upon to resurrect a particular goal that had been dormant in my life for the previous couple of years. I have now included this goal in my plans. I have been pleasantly surprised at how much I’m enjoying including it in my life again, even though at first I was reluctant, even resentful about it.

The six reasons just outlined are often why we experience setbacks, even complete chaos and confusion, when we set goals and make the decision to effect positive change in our lives. Although these “roadblocks” are disturbing and discouraging, it’s important to stay determined to remain positive and keep our minds and hearts open to where our path may lead, even if we can’t see very far ahead right now. There is a quote I love that particularly applies to times like these: “We don’t know what our future holds, but we know Who holds our future.”

January 18, 2023

Releasing Negative Thoughts & Feelings

Girl Blowing on Dandelion-resized — Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash

To listen to the audio version (podcast), click player arrow above

My previous posts (“Time to Wake Up” and “Identifying Habitual Thought Patterns”) addressed the subject of negative thinking and how it can set us up for failure at what we want to be, do, or have in life. It can keep attracting the same bad situations and adversely affect how we act and react to the world around us. We explored a number of common negative thoughts, so that we could identify the areas in which we seem to have the most trouble. In this way, we are “waking up” spiritually and mentally, by recognizing the numerous negative thoughts we have on a daily basis. If you did not see this list, please read my last post, “Identifying Habitual Thought Patterns” or listen to the audio version: https://anchor.fm/edlspirituality/episodes/IDENTIFYING-HABITUAL-THOUGHT-PATTERNS-e1svc1s

This post will explore in simple steps how to begin to change your circumstances for the better, and how to cooperate with our Creator to bring more joy, peace and abundance into your life.

Turning Negative Thoughts Around

Once we’ve identified some of our negative thought patterns, how do we turn things around? Most negativity is an expression of what we hate, fear, and want to avoid — in other words, all the things we DON’T want! Thoughts are energy, and because “like attracts like,” constantly dwelling on what we don’t want will keep bringing what we don’t want into our lives. The subconscious mind accepts everything you tell it, whether good or bad, positive or negative. For instance, if you keep thinking, “I don’t want to be poor,” “I hate being poor,” “I have no money and no prospects,” or “I need to get out of debt,” you are still focusing on poverty and debt, and probably fearing it, which is subconsciously setting you up to fall prey to more circumstances, people, and bad decisions that will keep you poor and in debt! The negative energy you are emitting will draw those negative circumstances and people to you.

To bring about change, we need to focus on what we love and yearn for, rather than what we don’t love and don’t want. Think of it this way: Supposing you went with a group of friends to an all-you-can-eat buffet. You go down the buffet table, looking at all the varieties of food, and every time you see a food that you dislike and would never want to eat, you add it to your plate. By the time you get to the end of the buffet, your dish is filled with food you can’t stand. You pay for it and go sit at the table with your friends. You sit there, not eating, feeling hungry and miserable, while your friends are heartily eating and enjoying their food.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Who the heck would do that?” Well, we do exactly that every time we waste our valuable energy by thinking and talking about what we DON’T want out of life! The friends who are enjoying their meal represent the people who focus their thoughts and energies on the things they truly want and to which they aspire — the people who love their lives and feel happy and satisfied. Meanwhile, you look on and wonder why you are so miserable. Would it help you to resent and envy them because they are enjoying their food and you’re not? No, because you chose the food yourself!

This life is a precious treasure — God’s gift to you. Your power to co-create with God the kind of life you truly want is part of this gift. Why would you waste it on things you don’t want? Why would you expend your precious time and energy perpetuating a life that is unsatisfying to you?

Remember, a random negative thought or two will not bring a host of bad things upon you. There is a time delay between our thoughts and their consequences, and positive thoughts are a great deal stronger than negative ones. That’s the good news. The bad news, though, is that sustained or habitual negative thoughts, especially when accompanied by strong emotion, will eventually attract negative things into your life. Like the food you chose at the buffet, the currency of your thoughts and feelings is capable of bringing both good and bad things to you. It’s a matter of which ones you choose.

As St. Paul wrote in his letter to the Philippians: “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute; if there is any excellence, and if anything is worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

GorgeousSunrise-Sunset_Final — Photo (without text) by Ravi Pinisetti on Unsplash

Because we have tens of thousands of thoughts a day, it is impossible to monitor each one. But an easy way to identify your predominant thoughts is to tune into your feelings, because your feelings are the result of your thoughts. Are you feeling negative emotions, such as boredom, irritability, disappointment, anger, worry, depression, hatred, envy, guilt or fear? Or are you feeling positive emotions like love, gratitude, joy, excitement, enthusiasm, hope, satisfaction?

Don’t feel guilty or afraid because you are experiencing a negative emotion or thinking a negative thought, as that is just adding more negativity! We don’t want to deny our negative emotions and pretend they don’t exist, because they often serve to point out areas in our lives that need our attention. Also, it’s natural to feel negative emotions at particular crisis points in our lives, i.e., loss of a job, end of a relationship, death of a loved one, etc. If this is the case, you must allow yourself to experience the emotions, and seek help if necessary. We’re also not talking here about serious mental or emotional illnesses, for which one needs to be under medical supervision, but rather the typical thoughts and emotions that most of us experience on a regular basis. However, even if you are going through a life crisis or suffering from a mental illness, you can still apply these principles in addition to any other help you may be receiving.

Self-awareness is the key

Once you are aware of why you are feeling a particular way, you can understand what your emotions are telling you and what changes you can make to improve your circumstances. This then allows you to achieve mastery of your conscious thoughts. One way to do this is to practice a simple form of meditation. Don’t let the word “meditation” scare you. I don’t mean that you need to sit in Lotus Position for two hours every day and chant “Om” (although this is perfectly fine if you want to do it)! The objective is simply to quiet your conscious mind for a while. You need only a few minutes, and the following practice is very simple and will become even easier with time:

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Sit comfortably in a quiet room. Turn off all electronic devices and ask to not be disturbed. Begin to focus on your breathing and/or picture a blank movie screen in your mind.
As you sit there, thoughts will naturally bubble up. Just “watch” the thoughts. Don’t get involved with them; just witness them, and then turn your mind gently but firmly back to your breathing or to the blank movie screen.
If the thought that comes up is negative, acknowledge that you had a negative thought. Do not try to resist it, because resistance means you are focused on it with powerful emotion, which only will make it stronger. Just release it without judgement or guilt.
Continue this way until the timer goes off.

Make an effort to do this every day, or at least several times a week. You will find that you feel more relaxed and focused after this, and may want to do it for longer periods. Eventually you will reach a point where the intruding thoughts will decrease, and you will experience longer periods of peace as your mind lets go of its constant chatter.

How to Deal with Persistent Negative Thoughts

If you are feeling particularly sad, angry, depressed or fearful, and these same thoughts stubbornly keep recurring, you can use the following, more in-depth exercise to get to the root of your feelings and release them:

As in the previous exercise, sit in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed, with all electronic devices turned off or in another room. Focus on your breathing until you become more relaxed.
Ask yourself why you are feeling unhappy, and express the reason out loud, i.e., “I am afraid that I won’t find another job,” or “I’m sad and lonely because my love life is terrible right now,” or “I’m depressed because I’m not feeling well.”
Once you have identified the emotion and its cause, don’t try to resist it or force it to go away. “Fighting” an emotion — like “fighting” an illness — usually doesn’t work, since it involves negative emotions like anger, resentment or resistance, which actually can attract more negativity to you and make the condition worse.
Face the negative emotion and ask it what it might be trying to teach you. Let it speak to you, without forcing it or censoring it. Learn from what it is telling you. For instance, if you are depressed because you’re sick, the reason you might hear when you ask this question is that your life was out of balance. You were stressed, rushing around, not taking time to relax, not eating and sleeping right. The illness was your body’s way of telling you to slow down and take better care of it, to bring your life into a better balance of mind, body and spirit.
Now, ask yourself if there are actionable steps you can take at the present time to help ease this negative emotion. Just writing down some small actions you can implement right away is a very effective way to ease the tension and stress you’re feeling. You can follow-up after your meditation session by doing some research for additional ideas. Eventually, you can build upon these small successes, until you begin to see a measurable improvement in your situation and your mood.
From now on, reframe your fears and negative statements into positive affirmations. For example, “I have a career that pays well and is personally fulfilling to me;” “I have many positive, loving, and uplifting relationships in my life;” “I feel healthy and whole in body, mind and spirit.” In other words, you are stating what you love and aspire to, rather than focusing on what the less-than-ideal situation might be at the current moment.
At the end of your meditation session, thank your subconscious mind for giving you the reasons and the suggestions. Tell it that you will heed the lesson, and that you no longer need to experience the negative emotions. You can picture yourself letting go of the emotion in any way you like: i.e., blowing it away like dandelion fluff, releasing it as a balloon, or watching it wash away like sand in an ocean wave. Once you learn the lessons that your negative emotion is trying to teach you, it will no longer have a strong hold on you. You will be able to release it and move on.

Once again, do not worry or become anxious about having negative thoughts, as this will attract more negative thoughts to you. We all have numerous negative thoughts occurring throughout each day, but they become a problem only when we dwell upon them and repeat them often or infuse them with strong emotion. Instead, say to yourself, “All my negative thoughts are weak, while my positive thoughts are very powerful!”

Simply by having read this post and the last one, you have become much more aware of any negative thought patterns you have. Congratulations! From now on, you will not be on “automatic pilot,” reacting in the same old way to everything that happens in your life. You now will be aware of your reactions (your thoughts) in each situation and can take action on them! Now you are in the driver’s seat of your mind, rather than a helpless and clueless passenger!

Brooding Man_Final — *Photo (w/o text) by ANDRIK ↟ LANGFIELD ↟ PETRIDES on Unsplash*

The simple forms of meditation practice given here are an excellent way to become more observant of your thoughts and feelings in order to learn to control them. Meditation has tremendous benefits for mind, body and spirit. There are many excellent books, blogs, and videos about meditation if you would like to explore this practice in more depth.

In the words of Charles Haanel, New Thought author who lived from 1866 to 1949: “Be careful of your moods and feelings, for there is an unbroken connection between your feelings and your visible world.”

Next time: How to deal with challenges to staying positive.

January 10, 2023

Identifying Habitual Thought Patterns

My last blog post, “Time to Wake Up,” addressed how what we think consciously and believe subconsciously affects how we act and react to the world around us, and how our thoughts can directly influence our future. This principle, nowadays called “The Law of Attraction (LOA),” has actually been around for thousands of years and can be found in the Bible and many other spiritual texts and teachings. So it is important that we first identify our habitual thought patterns, to see which ones are serving us and which might be holding us back from achieving the sort of life we would like to have.

Following is a series of questions to help you in this thought identification process.

Do you often say or think any of the following:

I’m too ___ (tired, sick, achy, weak, old, young, fat, ugly, stupid, etc.)
I’ll never be able to _____ (fill in the blank)
I’m not ______(fill in the blank)
I’m a bad sleeper
I can’t relax…I can’t concentrate…I can’t lose weight…I can’t get up early…I can’t _______ (fill in the blank)
I’m always late / I’m always running behind schedule
I never have any money
I’ll never get out of debt
I’m never at the right place at the right time
It’s all the fault of my dysfunctional parents/family…my bad childhood…the traits I inherited from my parents, etc.
I’m just a victim of ______.
I have no control over what happens to me
I never get a break
It’s Murphy’s Law
I just look at food and gain weight
I’m getting…(old, fat, sick, worn out, forgetful, poorer)
I’ve only got a few more years left
I’m not ____ enough (i.e., smart, attractive, thin, talented, skilled, educated, rich) — or: I don’t have enough ______ (brains, education, looks, money, ability, luck, talent, etc.)
Something that good can never happen to me
I’d never be so lucky
I never win anything
Other people get everything, and I get nothing
This is just my luck (or) I never have any luck
I hate that person
I look horrible in everything I put on
I never take a good picture
I’ll never have enough ____ (money, time, ability, health, etc.)
I’m so afraid of _____
I really dread _______
I’m not feeling well – it’s probably cancer
I will probably get (name the disease), because it runs in my family (or because so many people get it).
I live in constant fear of getting (this disease).
I HATE (cancer, diabetes, asthma – or any disease)
We must FIGHT cancer (or other disease or problem)
Getting old sucks
I’m getting senile
I just can’t lose weight
I can’t cope with this
What if _____ (imagining something bad and then worrying about it)
I always have too much work
I hate my job and I’ll never get a better one
I don’t have enough to give to or share with anyone else
I’ll never forgive _____ (fill in name(s))
I’m too…(old, tired, busy, far gone)…to care about my looks or my health anymore
Everyone gets (fat, sick, high blood pressure, diabetes, memory loss) as they age.
I’m just falling apart
It’s hopeless
I never get good weather on my vacations or when I plan something

Do you often:

Gossip or complain about someone, or join in gossip/complaining about someone?
Try to instigate trouble and bad feeling among others?
Argue over and/or ridicule someone’s political or spiritual opinions?
End a friendship or become estranged from a family member because of differing political or spiritual beliefs?
Feel you have nothing to be thankful for?
Compare yourself negatively to other people?
Make nasty, snide or critical comments or cruel jokes in person or on social media?
Refuse to buy something you really wanted or needed, even though you have more than enough money to afford it, because you’re afraid to spend any money?
Make self-deprecating comments or denials when someone compliments you?
Criticize someone, and/or try to make someone else do things your way?
Harbor resentment or bitterness towards someone? Keep thinking about how to get even? Wish bad things on them?
Respond instantly with anger to someone else’s words or actions?
Try to control and “fix” other people’s lives rather than letting them learn from their experiences in their own way?
Frequently make or share self-deprecating remarks or jokes about being stupid, fat, old, forgetful, or other negative things?
Forward emails or share social media posts encouraging hatred against anyone or anything (political figures, celebrities, certain races, ethnic groups, religions, etc.)?
Say, “I HATE____” (fill in the blanks)?
Talk at length and frequently about your illnesses or someone else’s?
Feel envy towards someone? Withhold a compliment from someone because you secretly envy them?
Try to take something/someone away from a person because you think you deserve it more? Try to turn others against someone because you’re jealous?
Constantly worry about your loved ones and what could happen to them, or about losing your partner, your money, your health, etc.?

Okay, so you probably identified with at least several – and maybe a lot – of these. Some of them might rarely or never pertain to you, while others are fairly frequent. If so, welcome to the human race! We ALL think, say or do these things from time to time. A fleeting thought or occasional slip-up won’t have a significant effect on your life or your future. If, however, you habitually think, do or say any of them, and if the thoughts carry a strong emotional charge, you are setting yourself up to attract exactly what you say you hate, fear and don’t want! This is because our subconscious mind believes everything we tell it, whether it’s true, false, good or bad. It is merely responding to our conscious thoughts, words and actions, like an obedient, cooperative child. It doesn’t analyze whether the thoughts are good or bad for you, positive or negative. Analyzing and choosing are the domain of the conscious mind; the subconscious just accepts what we tell it.

Consequently, with our negative thoughts we will attract, or subconsciously be attracted to, just the circumstances and people that we want so much to avoid! Also, fighting against something negative is never as effective as striving instead to bring about a positive result. For example, instead of hating and “fighting” a disease, it’s better instead to think wellness and health, and do whatever we can to promote these positive qualities. Mother Teresa, now St. Teresa of Calcutta, was quoted as saying:“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”

Negative thinking also will block any good things that God wants to send us. Nothing is forced on us by God, who respects and honors our free will. Negative thinking is like keeping your hands behind your back when someone offers you a gift. You cannot accept the gift unless your hands are open to receive it.

LOA experts recommend that we shift our positive thoughts to at least 51% over the negative ones. Even this 1% over the halfway mark could be enough to dramatically change one’s life. I believe that the more we can shift our thoughts from the negative to the positive, the quicker and more dramatic the change will be!

Legend says that in the Buddha’s travels, he encountered a man who was awed by his peaceful, radiant persona. The man asked, “My friend, what are you? Are you a celestial being? Are you a god? A magician? A wizard?” The Buddha replied, “No. I am awake.”

Jesus told His followers that if they had faith “the size of a mustard seed” they could move mountains. He also told them that, with enough faith and belief, they could do all the things that He had done, and even greater things.

*Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash*

We cannot even begin to improve our lives unless we become awake and aware of the negative thoughts and lack of faith we harbor on a daily basis. Otherwise, we walk around in a perpetual state of “automatic pilot” and unconsciousness. Once you become aware, you will begin to notice any instances in which you are thinking or speaking negatively. You also will be shocked and dismayed at all the negativity you will notice around you from other people! In upcoming posts we’ll examine these negative thoughts and attitudes and explore ways to bring about positive change and achieve our goals and dreams.

Have a positively wonderful day!

January 3, 2023

Time to Wake Up!

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No, we’re not talking here about setting your alarm clock. You’re probably thinking, “Obviously, I’m already awake, or I wouldn’t be reading this right now!” You might not be actually sleeping, but as we start a brand-new year, it’s time to ask yourself: Are you fully awake and aware of the life you are creating for yourself at this very moment?

How do you create your life and your future? You do it through the thoughts and feelings that you hold in your mind consistently over a period of time. We have tens of thousands of thoughts a day, but many of them are random and fleeting and don’t have much impact. What does matter, though, are our dominant thoughts — the ones we dwell on consistently, the habitual thought patterns we follow on a regular basis. Those thoughts of today are what draw the events, situations, and people that will form our tomorrow.

What we don’t realize is that what we think consciously and believe subconsciously affects how we act and react to the world around us. It sends out a signal that in turn has an effect on other people, drawing those of like mind to us. This is great if our thoughts are positive and constructive – who doesn’t want to be surrounded by people and situations that lift our spirits, encourage and inspire us to be our best selves? But what if our thoughts are sad, gloomy, bitter, angry, fearful or anxious – do we really want to draw people to us who will just perpetuate this negativity? Please don’t invite me to that party!

Our thoughts also influence our future, because when we are steeped in negativity, we do not make wise choices or take constructive action. We are too reactive, act too hastily without sufficient reflection, respond to others with negativity, try to control or manipulate people, or force events and situations in such a way as to sabotage our own goals and progress.

There is a lot of buzz in recent years about the Law of Attraction (LOA), which is based on the theory that “like attracts like.” Personally, I firmly believe in this law because I have seen it manifest over and over in my own life – for both good and bad, depending on the way I was thinking, feeling and acting at the time. Although the LOA has become very popular nowadays, it has been written about for the last 100+ years by various “New Thought” authors, and these principles actually have been around in one form or another for thousands of years. They form a part of virtually every major religion, and are mentioned by many great thinkers and spiritual leaders and in many religious texts, including the Judeo-Christian Bible and the teachings of Buddha. They may not have called it “the Law of Attraction,” as that is a relatively new term, but in principle they were teaching the same truths. We may have heard their words hundreds of times, but just never truly understood or “got it” on a deep, basic level.

Utilizing the Law of Attraction is just another phrase for unwavering faith in Divine Power to manifest those things to which we aspire. Although many modern LOA proponents use the term “the Universe,” I prefer to use the “G” word — God — or Divine Power, instead of “Universe.” This is because I believe that God is the supreme intelligence that created all things, and the Universe is simply a creation through which God works, using the power of love. But it doesn’t matter what you call it, and you don’t have to be a particularly religious person to utilize it; it is only necessary to have an open mind and to believe in a Power greater than yourself, a Power which is the Source of everything and the loving Force that is present within you and everything else in the Universe. You can refer to this Power by any name that resonates with you.

Even those who are not of a spiritual or metaphysical mindset would likely agree that our subconscious beliefs affect the way we act and appear to others, and that they definitely have an impact on our own bodies and mental/physical health. Many medical professionals today acknowledge the mind-body connection.

Many people who are proponents of LOA talk about using it to acquire weath and success. Although there is nothing wrong with wanting material things — as long as we don’t put them above everything else — I believe that the LOA’s greatest power lies in allowing us to open ourselves the the gifts God wants to bestow upon us, but which our negativity and feelings of unworthiness prevent us from receiving, or even requesting. As it says in James 4:2: “You don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.”

Image courtesy of kittijaroon at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is the first article of several that I’ll be posting periodically over the next several months, which will explore in simple steps how to change your life for the better, how to experience more joy, happiness, serenity and abundance. The first step is “waking up” by becoming aware of the quality of our thoughts. Awareness is the beginning of changing things for the better, because if we walk around unconscious of what we’re doing, we will never change.

The next post of this series will present some questions to help you identify your own habitual thought patterns.