May 3, 2023

BREAKING THE CYCLE OF STAGNATION: TIPS & TRICKS

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Once upon a time, a beautiful fruit tree found itself afflicted with arrested growth and tired, droopy leaves, tested by drought, wind and storms. It asked itself, “Why is this happening to me? I’ve tried very hard to grow and give of my fruit. I guess I must have done something wrong. I should just give up and forget about any fruit I could have grown!“

The tree asked itself over and over how it could return to the state of fruitful and productive growth it once had, because it felt useless and put-upon and shriveled up. But no matter how much it tried, nothing changed. The tree stayed barren.

A time came, however, when the sun shone, the gentle rain fell, and the troubled period of dormancy passed. It turned this tired old tree into a newly-blossoming thing of great beauty. It felt eager to grow again, and it saw itself bear wonderful fruit.

Are you feeling stagnated in your life? Do you feel confused, uncertain about your future and your goals, about how to keep growing, feel more useful, and use your gifts? Nothing can make us more downhearted than to feel useless or as if we’re stuck in a rut. This quickly can lead to depression, so it’s best to deal with feelings of stagnation as soon as they arise.

Here are some practical ways to help you overcome this condition and get you out of that rut:

Think of your life as the tree in the preceding story, which has no trouble bearing fruit when conditions are right, but which withers under constant heat, or grows too many leaves and not enough fruit when atmospheric conditions are unfavorable. Under adverse conditions, your gifts become dormant and seem to no longer exist. But a time will come when you will feel better, you’ll see your life improve, you will open your mind to Light once again and share that Light with others. “He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he does shall prosper.” [Psalms 1:3]
Make a list of past achievements about which you are justifiably proud. If you’ve had recent failures or setbacks, remembering all the times you succeeded in overcoming obstacles will reassure you that you can do it again! For some tips to help you deal with setbacks, see my prior post, “Changing Setbacks Into Success: Finishing the Race.”
Keep learning new things. Some people think that once they’re out of school, there is no longer a need to learn anything new. Although this often is a problem with older people, especially after they retire, it can be a problem at any age or stage of life. Never stop striving to acquire knowledge, learn new skills and formulate new goals. This keeps us young, keeps our brains sharps, and makes us more interesting to other people as well.
Feeling overwhelmed by a task, situation, or trying to assimilate too much information at once can paralyze us. Give your brain some rest while it subconsciously assimilates all the new information you’ve been feeding it. Read a lighthearted novel, watch an entertaining show on Netflix, or enjoy some outdoor activities for a while. If a task is overwhelming, break it down into manageable steps and try to do something every day in relation to the task, no matter how small. Give yourself a little reward for each accomplishment. You will find that you’ll build momentum from even the smallest actions.
Let go of unreasonable expectations about yourself. Maybe what you’ve been trying to accomplish is out of your skill set right now, or perhaps the time frame you’ve given yourself is too limiting. Re-evaluate your expectations and adjust them to a more reasonable level.
Evaluate criticism from others to determine whether it’s justified and constructive. If it is, consider utilizing the other person’s advice; if it isn’t, dismiss it and trust your own inner guidance. Remember that many people who accomplished great things did not at first have the approval of other people.
Give yourself time to adapt to big life changes. Entering a new phase of life, brought on by events such as graduation, marriage, relocation, retirement, etc., even if happy, can be very stressful. Once the initial excitement wears off, we might feel let down and not know what our next step should be. So be patient with yourself. You’ll find that in time, as you adjust to your new situation, your enthusiasm and ambition will return.
Dealing with recent grief and loss can make us feel stuck in sorrow and inertia. This is a normal part of the grieving process, as we learn to cope with the “new normal.” Remember that although things will never be quite the same, life still can be very good. As you emerge from the worst of the grief, you will begin to regain your vitality. If, however, you find that you are unable to cope with the loss on your own, seek the help of a professional counselor or therapist.
Realize that you might be on the brink of a big breakthrough. Sometimes a period of inertia and stagnation precedes a great change in our lives and a new goal or direction that we didn’t foresee. This is like planting a seed: You might not see anything happening above the ground, but underneath there is great activity! So keep on praying, and hold on to your dream, but don’t get anxious about it. Relax, and give it some time to emerge.
Determine what your gifts and strengths are. It’s hard to set goals when we’re not sure of what we’re good at. Figure out what makes you unique, what special gifts you possess that can bring you fulfillment and make the world a brighter place. You can find lots of useful tips in my three-part series, 7 Steps to Sharing Your Talents & Gifts
Give yourself some downtime. When we have been relentlessly pursuing our dreams and working very hard to accomplish things, it’s inevitable that at some point we just run out of steam, leading to exhaustion and burnout. Take some time to decompress and recharge your batteries!
Do not neglect your own needs while taking care of others. Remember that you cannot be of much help to other people if you’re not seeing to your own health and mental well-being. My post, “What’s Your Motivation?” may help give you insights into this situation.
If you’re experiencing a lack of confidence, fear of failure, or fear of new things, the only solution is to power through, and take the plunge of embracing new challenges and pursuing your goals, in spite of these feelings. Turning to God and seeking the support of loving family and friends can be a great help at times like this. In the words of Mark Twain, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”
Is there a lack of challenge or excitement in your life? We all go through times when life just isn’t all that interesting or stimulating. The reasons for these barren periods are numerous, but they can sink us into a state of apathy and boredom that’s hard to shake. Do some soul-searching about what you truly want out of life and what new interests you can pursue. Refer to my post, “Your Ideal Life” for some useful tips. Also think about what you might have once loved to do but gave up for one reason or another. This might be the time to revive that old passion! Consider taking a trip for a change of scenery and some new adventures. You don’t have to go very far or spend a lot of money. Sometimes, just a day trip or a weekend away to someplace nearby but different can lift your spirits and pull you out of your rut.
Stay connected to God and your inner guidance. Feeling distant at times from Higher Power is part of being human, and it happens to even the greatest saints and spiritual masters. Change things up by finding a new prayer or meditation routine, pick up an inspiring book, listen to a motivating speaker, visit a different church, or go out in nature to seek God in the beauty of His creation. The feeling of disconnection eventually will pass, if you just trust the process and don’t give up trying to stay attuned to Higher Power.
Take care of yourself. If we’re not healthy physically, not taking proper care of ourselves, we won’t have the energy to feel enthused about anything. Be sure to eat right, get enough rest and exercise, avoid smoking, drugs or excessive alcohol consumption.
Recognize the importance of the little things you do. You might be frustrated at not being able to accomplish the big things you envision, leading to the feeling that you may as well not do anything at all. Realize that it is not necessarily the size or importance of the things we do that make them worthwhile. In this age of social media, with things going viral and people attaining ridiculously high numbers of followers in ways that sometimes are baffling, we can feel diminished in our own eyes if our efforts go unrecognized by the world’s standards. It helps to realize that sometimes it’s the things we do that we consider trivial that might make the most impact on other lives or be the most valued by God. Be consistent and sincere in your efforts, rather than worry about grandiose deeds or viral success, which often are fleeting and insubstantial, or even harmful to your soul in the long run. In the words of St. Teresa of Calcutta, “Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.”

FruitTree — *Photo courtesy of Unsplash*

If you’re tired and discouraged right now, stuck in a rut of stagnation, afraid that you will never grow or be productive again, realize that this is just your perception, not truth. You are experiencing a necessary dormancy, just as vital to your continued growth as it was for the tree. Trust in the cycles of life, and know that the breath of God will infuse new energy into you when the time is right.

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April 4, 2023

SHARING YOUR GOALS

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So, you’ve decided on the goals you want to achieve in order to transform your life into something more closely resembling your ideal. You’re very excited and want to share your goals with others, seeking their support and encouragement. But should you rush out and broadcast your precious ambitions to everyone you know? Should you post about it on social media, talk about it with your friends over lunch, call your family and confide all your plans to them? How do you decide how much, if anything, to share, and with whom? This is a complicated issue and a personal decision, which calls for careful consideration.

There are, of course, advantages to sharing your goals with the right people: Speaking your heart’s desire out loud may help it to manifest. It’s fun to share your vision of Your Ideal Life with people you know, especially at the beginning when you’re bursting at the seams to talk about it to someone! Sharing your goals can help keep you accountable, because when other people know about your goals, it makes it harder for you to slack off on working towards fulfilling them.

You may feel it would be helpful to get other people’s opinions on the goals you have chosen. This, however, can be a double-edged sword. It’s true that an objective third party might be able to point out where you possibly can tweak or rethink a certain goal, and upon reflection you might decide they’re right. But on the other hand, these are YOUR goals, and your best source of guidance is to pray about them and follow where your deep intuition leads you, rather than take someone else’s words at face value. Of course, if your Ideal Life will include another person who has similar goals (for instance, a spouse or partner), you can be of great help to one another by sharing your dreams and aspirations. Two people working toward the same goals is doubly powerful!

If you have a very supportive relative or friend whom you trust implicitly and know will support you and have your best interests at heart, sharing your goals with them can be very edifying to you. Because they love you, they will encourage you in any way they can. Sometimes, they even might be able to assist you in practical ways to achieve them.

The important thing, though, is to be very selective and extremely careful about any person to whom you choose to entrust your most cherished dreams. As unpleasant as it may be to acknowledge, there always will be people out there who do not wish the best for you. They will be more than happy to shoot down your most cherished dreams, telling you every conceivable reason why you cannot possibly attain them, thus filling you with doubt and insecurity. This could be because of their natural negativity or bitterness, a narrow-minded, cynical viewpoint, or rigid, fatalistic religious beliefs. If you know people like this, do not share your goals and dreams with them. They will only undermine your confidence and possibly discourage you from even trying.

You also might invite envy from people who are too lazy or uninspired to set and pursue their own goals. Such people might openly ridicule you, both to your face and behind your back, because they envy your ambition and optimism. Sometimes they may actually try to sabotage your efforts to attain your goals. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles.” Proverbs 21:23

Another drawback is that revealing your intentions and plans can put you in the position of having to defend them to other people, which is unnecessary and can cause your confidence to falter. You do not have to defend your goals to anyone; they are yours, and nobody has the right to challenge you about them, as long as they will not cause harm to other people.

Once having spoken about your goals, you might then become fearful of looking foolish if you fail. This lack of confidence can cause you to sabotage your own efforts. Also, sometimes our goals will change with time. If this happens with some of your goals, you might feel silly admitting this to people, who may not take you seriously after that.

Most importantly, sometimes people close to you might feel threatened by this new vision of your Ideal Life. They may feel that you will change and no longer be the person they feel comfortable with. Many times, family, spouses and friends secretly don’t want you to succeed, not necessarily out of malice, but out of fear that it will change your relationship with them. This is possible, because as you grow and change for the better as a result of your goals, you may well lose people who cannot accept the new you, nor grow and change along with you. This is a part of the process that you need to be willing to face.

One very important thing to realize is that the energy we expend by talking about our goals will sometimes seriously deplete the energy we have left to actually pursue them. Ever notice how the people you know who do the most talking usually accomplish the least? Although there is merit in “speaking your goals out loud” to yourself or to a select few people, wasting too much time and energy talking about all the wonderful things you plan to do may mean that by the time you decide to start working on them, you are already tired of the subject and find your enthusiasm has waned, rather than grown stronger. Talkers talk, but doers do — so be a doer, not a talker!

“Stop talking to people about what you will do; show them instead what you are doing.” says British psychologist, author, and broadcaster Robert Holden, PhD.

When you have achieved your goals and are well on the way to your Ideal Life, you’ll find that other people will want to talk to you about what you have accomplished, rather than the other way around. You can then use your experiences and success to help, inspire, and encourage them to work towards their own best life!

In most cases, it might be wise, especially at the beginning, to limit your goals and plans to your vision board, goal scrapbook, treasure box, or Ideal Life screensaver, as described in my previous post, “The Power of Visual Imagery.” Cherish your dreams within your heart and talk them over with God, and with your Guardian Angel or Guide if this fits into your personal beliefs. Ask for support and direction from the spiritual realm rather than the earthly one. Create your plan of action and then implement it, instead of wasting time and energy, and risking possible setbacks, by talking about them with other people.

*Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels*

In the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Well done is better than well said….Words may show a man’s wit, but actions his meaning.”

March 21, 2023

The Traveler: Finding Direction on Life’s Journey

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Do you sometimes feel lost and confused about what direction to take in your life?

Some years ago, I was facing a lot of changes and adjustments, as well as new opportunities and possibilities (including a new job). Naturally, I was feeling excited yet stressed, encouraged yet confused. I was praying about all of it, of course, but still felt somewhat overwhelmed. I asked for a sign to help me know what direction to take with some of my goals. One night, I had the following dream:

Dream: “The Unknown Road”

As the dream begins, I am driving my car along a beautiful but unfamiliar country road. I am alone, with no particular destination in mind – just going for a ride on a beautiful summer day. I am driving carefully, especially at intersections, although there is little traffic in that rural area. The scenery is gorgeous, with gentle, rolling green hills in the distance, and the sky is a lovely blue with some puffy cumulus clouds. But then I notice some wisps of black in the sky and become frightened, thinking a storm is approaching. Then I see some men fixing the road up ahead and realize that it had not been black clouds that I had seen, but smoke rising from a machine that is mixing hot asphalt.

The road then ends at a “T”-type intersection. I don’t know whether to turn left or right. I pull over to the side, stop the car and get out, looking for a street or destination sign, but see none. The scenery here is breathtaking, because up ahead I see beautiful mountains and an enormous cathedral, bigger than any building I’ve ever seen, with the ornate, beautiful architecture common in old cathedrals. As I scan the panorama, I’m dismayed to see some ugly industrial buildings to the right and left in the distance. I think what a shame it is that they’re spoiling the beautiful landscape. The sight of them lends an eerie, desolate aspect to the scenery, giving me a creepy feeling. I wonder if I should ask someone where I am, so that I can figure out how to get back home. At first I resist, because I really had wanted to figure it out for myself, but with no signs to guide me, it doesn’t seem possible.

As the dream ends, I realize that I’ll have to ask someone for directions.

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When I awoke, I realized how perfectly symbolic this dream was of my current situation. Roads, of course, symbolize the path we are taking in life. The road I was on, though beautiful, was rather narrow, which brought to mind “the narrow way” mentioned in the Gospels, and it was long and winding, showing that I still have far to go. The black clouds that I saw, which turned out to be harmless smoke from a truck doing street repairs, seemed to mean that some of my fears were groundless, and that my attempts to “repair” the things that are wrong in my life might be scary and upsetting sometimes, but necessary.

The T-intersection symbolized the fact that I can’t travel in the same direction forever; eventually I will come to a crossroads and have to make a decision and choose a new direction. I believed that the great cathedral in the distance represented my spiritual aspirations, and its huge size showed that it was an extremely important aspect of my life. The industrial buildings felt “creepy” and also made me angry with the way they ruined the beautiful landscape. Since industry is another word for work, I felt that they symbolized my fear of being overwhelmed with mundane work to the point where I’d be unable to fulfill my higher ambitions and spiritual goals.

The dream was inconclusive, because it ended with my still being at the crossroads. To get more insight into this dream and what it might be trying to tell me, I put my mind into a passive, receptive state and used my personal method to connect with my inner guidance. Through the process of inspirational writing, I received the following message about my dream:

“Become as a traveler who is not totally sure of the way, so he asks Someone who knows the area well to guide him. From the traveler’s viewpoint, sometimes the road will be deceptive. He might think one direction will lead him where he wants to go, only to find that it winds around and around, and he ends up back where he started. The wise traveler will admit his ignorance of the way and seek help. He will follow the direction of a knowledgeable person, even though sometimes the road that is pointed out seems like it could not possibly be the right one. The shortest path is sometimes the wrong one, and the experienced guide will know this, but the traveler, who is unfamiliar with the territory, will not.

“If sometimes the road ahead looks deceptively easy and you are fooled into thinking it is the right one, you might get lost. But if you seek the help of God, Who knows the way, you will never go wrong. You still might have to travel a great distance, go over many obstacles and follow a very tortuous road, but in the end you will reach your goal.

“The traveler who goes nowhere is the one who is too proud to ask directions, who goes his own way no matter what the circumstances. Do not be like this traveler, but like the one who is humble enough to know when he needs guidance.

“Ignore those who will tell you that sometimes you must hurt others to get ahead. If you aspire to this sort of success, you are on the wrong path. ‘Getting ahead’ this way is only a euphemism for selfishly grasping at things that are only temporary. This will give you nothing but grief. You will ponder what you achieved and find it empty. Honor first what God has asked of you — to use your gifts and talents for the benefit of others and to glorify God. If you do this, you will achieve your goals, find true contentment, and overcome the obstacles which hinder your growth. This will give you a freedom that no earthly success can ever give. Do not heed the discordant voices that try to lead you astray. They are only empty noise in a space that is devoid of any true peace or happiness.”

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I have shared this dream and message to encourage you, if you are feeling lost and confused about what direction to take in your own life. After you consider all the known choices you can make and paths you can take, surrender it to Higher Power. Ask to be shown the way, through your own inner guidance. Do not depend only on your intellect; leave room for your intuition and inner knowing. Open your mind to possibilities and opportunities you may have not considered yet, and try not to cling stubbornly to ideas that clearly are not working out and need to be revised or discarded.

It’s funny how we usually trust a GPS system to tell us how to get to a destination. If we make a wrong turn and find ourselves being corrected by the GPS, would we sit in our car and argue with it, insisting that the road we took, which is clearly in the opposite direction, is the right one and that the GPS is wrong? No, most of the time we will follow the GPS directions without question. Yet, when our inner guidance, directed by Higher Power, is emphatically showing us that we need to take a detour, we question and resist it. A GPS system can sometimes be wrong; but God is never wrong. So, let’s give God at least as much trust as we put into our modern-day, man-made technology!

Several years ago, I started saying this prayer every morning, adding it at the end of my daily prayer to the Holy Spirit. It is based on Psalm 25:4-5: “Show me the path where I should go, O Lord; teach me the right road to walk. Lead me in Your truth and teach me Your ways, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long.”

Here are some additional Scripture verses about God’s guidance. I hope they will inspire you in your own life’s journey:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.” ~ Psalm 32:8

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” ~ James 1:5

“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.” ~ Isaiah 30:21

“Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.” ~ Psalm 119:105

And finally, take comfort in the promise of Isaiah 42:16: “I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them.”

February 19, 2023

How to Succeed in Faith without Really Trying

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Dealing with Doubt

Doubt is an integral part of our human condition. No one escapes it, not even the greatest saints and spiritual masters. So how do we deal with times of doubt? It cannot be conquered by getting proof of God’s reality, because as American economist, social theorist, and author Stuart Chase once wrote, “For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible.” Nor is it helpful trying to force yourself to never have any doubts. But it is possible to have a different perspective on doubt by seeing it as a potentially valuable and powerful tool, not as a curse. Why? Because doubt sharpens our faith, the way a hard stone sharpens the edge of a knife as it is rubbed against it. As our souls are rubbed against the rough stone of doubt, we can become stronger, more courageous and confident. In the words of poet Kahlil Gibran: “Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.”

Certainly, it’s hard to see doubt as beneficial when we are deep in the throes of it, when it discourages and overwhelms us, destroying our peace of mind. At times of trouble and difficulty, we question what is happening in our lives and ask to understand. We mull over all the possible things we might have done to “deserve it” and we wonder: is God an infinitely loving Father, or an indifferent, even fierce, vengeful deity who doesn’t really care about our suffering? This is human nature, and God understands it. Doubt becomes a problem only when we honor it above all else and give God no opportunity to enlighten us.

When we read the Scriptures and other spiritual writings, we discover other people’s struggles with the same doubts with which we ourselves grapple. Recognizing that the human struggle with God’s reality and His will is an ageless one helps us to see it with greater understanding. Honoring our human free will, God never forces us to trust Him, but if we do not trust Him, He cannot help us to use our gifts as freely, and our lives will not be as fulfilling or productive. While trusting God is sometimes difficult, it stops fear, doubt, and despair faster than any human effort ever could do.

When we question God’s existence or His love, this means we are not mindless robots, but thinking, feeling, living souls who have free will and are subject to thoughts that are not always easy to live with. Never having doubts or fears would make us overconfident, taking our Creator for granted and limiting our spiritual development. We would be of no use to other people who have trouble believing in God, because we would feel self-righteous and smug, unable to understand or help them on their path to finding God.

Kindness and compassion begin with our own pain.

We might not be proud of our ignorance and fear, but they are part of our human nature, and all of us face them in ourselves and in others. By using doubt as a tool towards greater compassion for those who do not believe, we grow as souls and strengthen our own faith.

Using human reason alone can take us only so far. Acknowledging this limitation opens the door to God’s guidance. Questioning God is not sinful, but turning away from Him will close us off to His help, to enlightenment and growth.Think of it this way: if you have children who love and respect you, but sometimes question your rules or judgment, you wouldn’t feel angry about this, because you know that your children really love you and are not abandoning you because of a disagreement. But if your children totally rejected you and shut you out of their lives, you probably would feel anger or sadness, and eventually have no choice but to stop offering your help, because they are closed off to it.

Similarly, if we question God sometimes, or even get angry with Him, we don’t fall out of favor with Him. Nor do we stunt our spiritual growth, as long as we give Him enough trust to let Him guide us to a place of peace. It’s normal sometimes to question whether or not we are on the right path. Other people’s opinions on how to live our lives can upset or confuse us, but we can be sure that openness to God’s guidance will never let us down. If we continue on our path, even when we feel doubt, over time the path straightens out and we will be guided in the right direction. If we continue our efforts to trust in God, even when we feel He doesn’t care or that maybe He doesn’t even really exist, we eventually will experience stronger faith. Sometimes it’s a matter of “fake it ’till you make it.”

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Another way doubt benefits us is by causing us to seek truth with which to arrive at answers. Using prayer and seeking spiritual sources of truth to enlighten our minds is the greatest antidote to doubt. Our human nature does not attune itself to Light often enough; instead it seeks material things and intellectual pursuits to try to fill the empty spaces and supply all the answers. I once saw a sign outside a church that read: “If God feels far away, who moved?” God is love; He knows no other way to be. God does not turn away from us, but we often turn away from God. As a result, we despair and do not feel His presence. We think that God has abandoned us. But this is an illusion, not truth.

Assuming that solely by our own power we can overcome any trouble, figure out any question, and solve any problem, without God’s intervention, ultimately leads to despondency. Trying to comprehend that which is not humanly comprehensible, such as God’s Divine nature and His ways, is like trying to understand a book written in another language by reading it over and over again, without any knowledge of the language in which it is written. This would be futile. But if you seek help from someone who understands the language, this makes it possible for you to understand the book. Likewise, only God can help us overcome the anguish of total despair, which is poison to the soul.

A person caught in quicksand will sink deeper the more he struggles. If we try too hard to overcome doubt, we sink even deeper into the quicksand of fear and despair, because our efforts alone, no matter how great, will never be enough to conquer these things. A person drowning in quicksand cannot pull themself out of it, but can be pulled out by someone else. By realizing that we cannot save ourselves from fear and doubt, we can then reach out to God and let Him pull us out of it by blessing us with the gift of faith.

Dr. Elton Trueblood, author, educator, philosopher and theologian, once said, “Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.” Faith originates in God. It is His gift to us, but our souls must be open to this gift, through total surrender to God’s will. This can be done by quieting the mind through mindfulness and meditation when it starts running amok, by frequent prayer and study of spiritual truth, and by freely sharing our own experiences with other souls who are struggling on their own path to God. Like a muscle, exercising our faith strengthens it, so that when doubt comes around — and it will! — our faith will be strong enough to see us through it.

Totally surrender your doubt to God and ask Him to use it to make you stronger. Ask God sincerely to show you His presence in your life, and stay open to God’s answer. By admitting that we don’t understand, but will trust a little while longer, we discover that somehow we find our faith again in the truths we spontaneously come to comprehend. This not only strengthens us, but allows us to help other people on their own spiritual journey.

When we see doubt as a tool to sharpen our faith, we will never feel powerless against it. When we honor God, we cannot at the same time honor fear or doubt. Alone we have no power against the darkness, but with God, who is Light, we have unlimited strength and endless power! Use your doubt as a tool to help you to become a stronger person. As Jesus promised in John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

December 6, 2022

Changing Setbacks into Success: Finishing the Race – Pt. 2

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The first post of this two-part series examined how perception and attitude shape our experiences whenever we encounter obstacles to achieving our goals, and how keeping an open mind and asking for Divine guidance can keep us from giving up. Once you have quieted your mind and prayed for guidance, reflecting on the following 10 questions can help you gain a clearer perspective on your situation and turn your setback into success:

Am I on the right path? If a goal is unrealistic, incompatible with your soul’s deeper purpose, your talents and abilities, or potentially harmful to you or others, the obstacles you encounter might be a way of detouring you to another, better goal. Consider constructive criticism and feedback about your goals from people whose judgment you trust. Don’t seek the opinion of people who might be envious and not want to see you succeed, because they will only discourage you, undermine your confidence and give you false advice. Conversely, people too close to you might not want to rain on your parade, or their feelings for you might cloud their own judgment. But an honest and objective third party might see things you’re missing because you’re too emotionally involved.

Am I using the right tactics? Sometimes the goal is appropriate, but the approach is wrong. If you consistently meet with opposition and failure, it could mean a change in strategy is necessary. Brainstorm to see how many new tactics you can come up with, and then begin to implement them one by one until you hit the right formula. Look to the example of others who have accomplished what you want to do and try to emulate their process to the best of your ability.

Is my timing off? The worthiest goals and the cleverest strategy will not succeed if the timing is wrong. Anxious to reach our destination, we sometimes rush ahead without adequate thought or preparation. When plans stagnate, it’s tempting to try to force results before the time is right, often with disastrous consequences. I have committed some of my worst mistakes when I tried to make something happen that wasn’t ready or able to happen. If you’ve given something your best effort but still encounter a setback, if it seems as though everywhere you turn you come up against a brick wall with no discernible way out, a waiting period might be necessary to allow the right people and circumstances into your life to help you achieve your goal when the time is right.

What motivates me? Selfishness, greed, revenge, jealousy, egotism, or a desire for excessive power can spoil even the most worthy goals. Obstacles and setbacks can force us to examine our motives and determine whether they conform to the highest standards. When we have the wrong motives, even if we succeed we may destroy relationships, hurt other people, and even jeopardize our own soul in the process. As a result, although we might achieve our goal, we ultimately will not feel fulfilled.

Do I need more education, expertise, or experience? If you are unable to compete successfully in your field of endeavor, it might mean you need to sharpen your skills, increase your knowledge, or obtain more practical experience before you can attain your goal. Take classes, or find a mentor or role model who is successful in the field you are pursuing to help you. Read books by and about people who have done what you would like to do. Search the internet for articles, webinars, podcasts and videos that will give you more information. It’s amazing how many people will launch themselves toward a goal about which they know nothing and have never bothered to do any research! Adopt as your motto the old saying, “Knowledge is power.”

Is this setback necessary for my personal and spiritual growth? Obstacles, failure, and stagnation are not only inevitable, but essential to the soul’s development. Growth occurs by overcoming obstacles, not by sailing through life without challenges. No creature is capable of constant productivity. God uses our dormant times to nourish us on a deep level, enabling us to draw upon new sources of strength and ability. The Roman poet Horace said, “Adversity has the effect of eliciting talent, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant.”

Am I encountering resistance because I am undertaking something important? It’s a known fact that often when we are about to embark on an endeavor that will do a lot of good and help a lot of people, we will encounter obstacles and misfortune, at the beginning and also at various points along the way. Whether you believe in evil forces or attribute it to your own subconscious resistance, these setbacks are a supreme test of your faith and determination to carry on with your high ideals and goals despite the opposition you’re encountering.

Does someone need my help? Our plans are sometimes halted simply because our spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends or neighbors need our attention. Christ often interrupted his preaching and teaching in order to serve people’s practical needs of food, healing, and comfort. This doesn’t mean putting our lives on hold indefinitely or using other people’s needs as an excuse to shirk other responsibilities. But we can rest assured that the time we take from our own plans to show love and caring to someone will never be wasted. It may even open doors to helpful contacts and new opportunities.

Do I need more trust, detachment, or acceptance? Having initiative and determination to make our dreams come true is essential, but we also need the detachment and discernment to know when to let go. All situations, whether perceived as good or bad, are temporary. When we trust God, we know that if we don’t get what we want, it’s because God wants to give us something better. God is not the denier of good things, but the source of them. “When you call me, when you pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you… And I will change your lot” (Jeremiah 29, 11-14).

Is the effort more important than the result? There is a saying, “Some goals are so worthy, it’s glorious even to fail.” The growth we achieve through our efforts will benefit us, regardless of the visible outcome.

Whenever you experience failure or frustration, remember that everyone who has ever done anything worthwhile has met with obstacles. “I am not discouraged,” said Thomas Edison, “because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” Edison’s teachers thought he was stupid, and he was fired from his first two jobs. It is a well-known fact that Edison conducted hundreds, even thousands, of failed experiments before successfully inventing the light bulb.

One of my favorite people of all time, Walt Disney, was fired in 1919 from a job at a newspaper because the editor said he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

Oh, yeah — if you’re wondering whatever happened to our writer friends who couldn’t sell their stories: They finally found a small publishing house on the verge of bankruptcy that was willing to take a chance on their book. And Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen became what Time magazine called “a publishing phenomenon.” To date they have sold over 500 million copies worldwide, with more than 250 titles in 43 languages, and has evolved into a socially conscious company that combines storytelling with making the world a better place.

If you do research into the lives of famous people from all walks of life, you will discover stories of failure, frustration, and opposition of all kinds. What makes these people extraordinary is their persistence and determination to achieve their goals in the face of all odds. So, if you currently are experiencing obstacles and setbacks, cheer up — you’re in excellent company!

November 30, 2022

Changing Setbacks into Success: Finishing the Race – Pt. 1

Part 1 of a 2-Part Series

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In 1990, two men collaborated on a collection of inspirational stories. They were sure they had a winner, but in the first month alone thirty-three New York publishers turned them down. “No one buys short stories,” they were told, “and your title stinks!” Even their agent dropped them; yet they refused to give up. But after 140 rejections, they seemed to be up against a brick wall. No one wanted what they had to offer.

At one time or another, we all face obstacles, setbacks, and failures. Whenever we make changes in our life or embark on a new venture, we meet resistance from outside sources and from within ourselves. Friends and family may question our goals, or maybe we are inwardly fearful of what lies ahead. Random events beyond our control can also disrupt our plans. Confidence fails; doubt and discouragement replace our initial feelings of hope and excitement. But obstacles are a natural part of progress. If we realize this from the beginning, we can gain insight into the possible causes, and learn from our experiences. We can find the courage to press on instead of giving up.

Few people experience as many obstacles as did St. Paul. He was shipwrecked, beaten with rods, whipped, stoned, suffered many sleepless nights, hunger, thirst, cold and exposure. On top of that, he experienced constant anxiety about the early churches who looked to him for leadership. In Damascus, the governor guarded the city so Paul could be arrested. He writes, “…but I was lowered in a basket through a window in the wall and escaped…” Now that’s persistence!

Undaunted by the innumerable obstacles he faced, Paul continued writing and encouraging the early Church even from prison. In his second letter to Timothy he wrote, “I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.”

Your Perceptions

Events in themselves are not necessarily good or bad. It’s our perception of the situation that labels it, our reaction to it that determines the ultimate effect it will have on our life. “The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty,” said Winston Churchill.

When our plans go awry, the human tendency is to react with fear, despair, or anger. We are angry with ourselves for our perceived failure, with other people for getting in our way, or with God for letting us down. But doors are opening even while we think everything is hopeless; changes are occurring during even the darkest times. We cannot see this, because our earthly perspective is limited to our present circumstances. It’s only in hindsight that we understand how each piece in the puzzle of our lives is essential to the entire picture.

Your Attitude

The late comedian Flip Wilson had a character named Geraldine, who used to flaunt her charms with the announcement, “What you see is what you get!” Similarly, what we see when we envision our future is often what we get. Lacking self-confidence, doubting God’s care, and obsessing about everything that could go wrong, set us up for failure.

Equally impractical is the blind optimism that stubbornly clings to unreasonable goals and pie-in-the-sky dreams. People with a well-balanced attitude set realistic goals and focus on success, while still leaving the door open to God’s surprises. They’re confident that nothing happens that God cannot use for good. They know they are guided, even when they can’t see the road ahead or feel God’s presence

Make Room for Abba

Jesus referred to God as “Abba,” which translates into “Daddy.” If we think of God as our loving Father (“Daddy”), it stands to reason that He would want only the best for us. Set goals and make plans, but leave them open-ended. Remember, God might have an even better idea, so stay open to it! “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?“ Jesus asked the crowd during his Sermon on the Mount, “Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” If God is our loving Daddy, we can trust that He will give us the very best!

“If you are discouraged, it is a sign of pride, because it shows you trust in your own power,” said Mother Teresa of Calcutta. “Your self-sufficiency, your selfishness, and your intellectual pride, will inhibit [God’s] coming to live in your heart, because God cannot fill what is already full.”

After Christ ascended to heaven, the apostles didn’t know what their next step should be. During this dormant time, they had to wait for God’s direction. “…They went to the upper room where they were staying…[and] devoted themselves with one accord to prayer…” (Acts 2:13-14). For 10 days, they waited and listened prayerfully for God’s answer, which manifested at Pentecost with the coming of the Holy Spirit.

Every one of us has experienced frustrating times when despite all our efforts, nothing moves forward. You leave voicemail messages, send emails, texts, post something important on social media, etc., but no one responds. You launch a new venture, but the people you counted on to support it are strangely absent, whether through thoughtlessness, self-absorption, or because they’re dealing with personal problems. Your new business seemed off to a great start, but now the phone is silent and no one seems to know you exist. Just as you seem to be advancing toward a goal, you’re hit with illness, a family crisis, or financial problems, and all progress comes to a screeching halt.

During times of stagnation or frustration, surrender your anxiety to a Power greater than your own. Quiet your thoughts and listen with an open mind to what your inner wisdom might be telling you. Gradually, guidance will emerge out of a seemingly hopeless situation.

In Part 2, we’ll examine 10 steps you can take to help turn your setbacks into success. (You’ll also find out what happened to the two authors who couldn’t sell their book!)

September 12, 2022

Adversity’s Hidden Blessings

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A legend tells how, once upon a time, birds had no wings and couldn’t fly. One day, God handed them each a pair of wings, which God instructed them to carry. It was grueling at first, because the wings were heavy and cumbersome. But the birds obediently carried the wings at their sides and struggled along. Gradually, the wings began to merge into the birds’ bodies. Their resilience in dealing with this adversity, which had seemed like a burden, soon freed the birds from their earthbound state and enabled them to experience the miracle of flight.

As the legend illustrates, God’s plan is always far greater in scope and better for us than anything we could imagine with our limited perspective. When we are too complacent, we can get lazy. Instead of seeking new opportunities for personal and spiritual growth, we cling to the job, routine, environment, and people that feel comfortable and safe. We are like children who fear the first day of school because it is a new and unfamiliar experience. But if children are to learn and mature, they need to trust and obey their parents, get an education, and face new challenges. Likewise, if we are to grow spiritually and reach our full potential, God has to “shake us up” a bit. This often involves adversity in the form of unwelcome changes, difficult situations, painful events, or the loss of someone or something we cherish.