So, you’ve decided on the goals you want to achieve in order to transform your life into something more closely resembling your ideal. You’re very excited and want to share your goals with others, seeking their support and encouragement. But should you rush out and broadcast your precious ambitions to everyone you know? Should you post about it on social media, talk about it with your friends over lunch, call your family and confide all your plans to them? How do you decide how much, if anything, to share, and with whom? This is a complicated issue and a personal decision, which calls for careful consideration.
There are, of course, advantages to sharing your goals with the right people: Speaking your heart’s desire out loud may help it to manifest. It’s fun to share your vision of Your Ideal Life with people you know, especially at the beginning when you’re bursting at the seams to talk about it to someone! Sharing your goals can help keep you accountable, because when other people know about your goals, it makes it harder for you to slack off on working towards fulfilling them.
You may feel it would be helpful to get other people’s opinions on the goals you have chosen. This, however, can be a double-edged sword. It’s true that an objective third party might be able to point out where you possibly can tweak or rethink a certain goal, and upon reflection you might decide they’re right. But on the other hand, these are YOUR goals, and your best source of guidance is to pray about them and follow where your deep intuition leads you, rather than take someone else’s words at face value. Of course, if your Ideal Life will include another person who has similar goals (for instance, a spouse or partner), you can be of great help to one another by sharing your dreams and aspirations. Two people working toward the same goals is doubly powerful!
If you have a very supportive relative or friend whom you trust implicitly and know will support you and have your best interests at heart, sharing your goals with them can be very edifying to you. Because they love you, they will encourage you in any way they can. Sometimes, they even might be able to assist you in practical ways to achieve them.
The important thing, though, is to be very selective and extremely careful about any person to whom you choose to entrust your most cherished dreams. As unpleasant as it may be to acknowledge, there always will be people out there who do not wish the best for you. They will be more than happy to shoot down your most cherished dreams, telling you every conceivable reason why you cannot possibly attain them, thus filling you with doubt and insecurity. This could be because of their natural negativity or bitterness, a narrow-minded, cynical viewpoint, or rigid, fatalistic religious beliefs. If you know people like this, do not share your goals and dreams with them. They will only undermine your confidence and possibly discourage you from even trying.
You also might invite envy from people who are too lazy or uninspired to set and pursue their own goals. Such people might openly ridicule you, both to your face and behind your back, because they envy your ambition and optimism. Sometimes they may actually try to sabotage your efforts to attain your goals. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles.” Proverbs 21:23
Photo by Peter Forster on Unsplash
Another drawback is that revealing your intentions and plans can put you in the position of having to defend them to other people, which is unnecessary and can cause your confidence to falter. You do not have to defend your goals to anyone; they are yours, and nobody has the right to challenge you about them, as long as they will not cause harm to other people.
Once having spoken about your goals, you might then become fearful of looking foolish if you fail. This lack of confidence can cause you to sabotage your own efforts. Also, sometimes our goals will change with time. If this happens with some of your goals, you might feel silly admitting this to people, who may not take you seriously after that.
Most importantly, sometimes people close to you might feel threatened by this new vision of your Ideal Life. They may feel that you will change and no longer be the person they feel comfortable with. Many times, family, spouses and friends secretly don’t want you to succeed, not necessarily out of malice, but out of fear that it will change your relationship with them. This is possible, because as you grow and change for the better as a result of your goals, you may well lose people who cannot accept the new you, nor grow and change along with you. This is a part of the process that you need to be willing to face.
One very important thing to realize is that the energy we expend by talking about our goals will sometimes seriously deplete the energy we have left to actually pursue them. Ever notice how the people you know who do the most talking usually accomplish the least? Although there is merit in “speaking your goals out loud” to yourself or to a select few people, wasting too much time and energy talking about all the wonderful things you plan to do may mean that by the time you decide to start working on them, you are already tired of the subject and find your enthusiasm has waned, rather than grown stronger. Talkers talk, but doers do — so be a doer, not a talker!
“Stop talking to people about what you will do; show them instead what you are doing.” says British psychologist, author, and broadcaster Robert Holden, PhD.
When you have achieved your goals and are well on the way to your Ideal Life, you’ll find that other people will want to talk to you about what you have accomplished, rather than the other way around. You can then use your experiences and success to help, inspire, and encourage them to work towards their own best life!
In most cases, it might be wise, especially at the beginning, to limit your goals and plans to your vision board, goal scrapbook, treasure box, or Ideal Life screensaver, as described in my previous post, “The Power of Visual Imagery.” Cherish your dreams within your heart and talk them over with God, and with your Guardian Angel or Guide if this fits into your personal beliefs. Ask for support and direction from the spiritual realm rather than the earthly one. Create your plan of action and then implement it, instead of wasting time and energy, and risking possible setbacks, by talking about them with other people.
Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels
In the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Well done is better than well said….Words may show a man’s wit, but actions his meaning.”
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In my last post, we talked about how to imagine the way you would like your life to be if you had no restrictions or limitations. This week we’re going to take the first step in the plan to transform those dreams into achievable goals, by creating a visual representation of Your Ideal Life. To participate in this week’s exercise, you will need the list you created from the last episode, describing every aspect of your Ideal Life. For instance, where you would live, who you’d be with, your job or career, places you’d like to visit, your achievements, etc. If you don’t have such a list, please read my last post, “Your Ideal Life,” which will prompt you with some questions to create it.
You can choose one or more of the following – or even do them all! It’s your dream, so do whatever works. Be sure to include in whatever version you choose a photo of yourself, smiling and happy!
CREATE A VISION BOARD: Get a large piece of poster board or foam-core board, or even one of those memory boards that people use for photos. On this vision board, you will post at least one picture for each aspect of Your Ideal Life. You can write “My Ideal Life” at the top of the board if you wish. Cut pictures from magazines, print out online pictures, or draw your own. Attach the pictures to your vision board, and in the center of the board put the smiling, happy picture of yourself. Place the vision board where you will see it every day.
MAKE AN “IDEAL LIFE” SCREENSAVER: This is similar to the vision board, except that you will save the pictures to your computer as a screensaver. This is a great way to keep your goals always before your eyes! You also can post them in the image gallery of your smartphone, where you can look at them every day, or make a collage of them in a photo-editing program and use them as the home screen on your phone. The next time you have a few free minutes, browse through these images instead of checking your social media feed. Spending a few minutes focusing on your Ideal Life will be of much more benefit to you than seeing photos of what your friend from high school ate for lunch!
CREATE AN “IDEAL LIFE” SCRAPBOOK: If you enjoy scrapbooking, or simply are the type of person who feels more connected by holding a tangible object like a book, buy yourself an attractive scrapbook and mount Your Ideal Life pictures inside it. Have a separate page for each aspect of Your Ideal Life. Give the page a title, and decorate it with appropriate stickers, or draw designs on it that represent your goals. Keep it in a safe place but where it is easily accessible to you.
MAKE A TREASURE BOX: Buy an attractive box with a hinged lid, or use a decorative photo box with a lid. Embellish it any way you like with beads, glass gems, stickers, paint, etc. Inside the box put pictures and symbolic objects that represent each aspect of Your Ideal Life. For instance, if you want better finances, put some money in the box. If you want to live by the seashore, find a pretty shell and place that in the box. You can also write down each aspect of your dream on slips of paper or index cards and place those in the box as well. Don’t forget to include a smiling photo of yourself! Some people also like to put in the box a symbol of their particular faith or spiritual ideal: For example, a cross or Star of David, a holy picture or medal, a small statue, a crystal, some incense, etc. Keep the box in a prominent place of honor where you will see it often.
I have used all of these methods at one time or another. The first one I tried was the scrapbook. I was amazed a few years later when I came across the scrapbook again and saw that every one of the goals depicted in it had come true — some in a slightly different form, but very close! The scrapbook remains my favorite tool for goal visualization.
Whatever visual representation you choose, keep it handy and look at it often. You can add or subtract images to it as your ideals develop or change. You don’t have to keep it in open view if you are afraid that other people will make fun of it or otherwise discourage you (more about sharing your goals in a future post). Just make sure it’s in a place where you can easily access it.
Whenever you have enough time to give it attention, sit in a quite, comfortable place with your visual representation, and let the images, designs, objects and words permeate your consciousness. Smile as you immerse yourself in this visual representation of Your Ideal Life. If you are a meditator, incorporate this manifestation ritual into your daily meditation practice. Use a recorded guided meditation on manifesting, if it helps you focus better. I will share a guided meditation in my next post.
Another excellent way to impress your ideals on your subconscious mind is to visualize Your Ideal Life every night as you are falling asleep. It’s a great way to put yourself in a positive mood at bedtime, which also can lead to better sleep!
Once daily is enough time to spend with Your Ideal Life exercise. Do not obsess over it. You must live in the present at the same time you are visualizing your future. If you get obsessive about your goals, constantly comparing your dreams to your current less-than-ideal situation, you’ll just get depressed and discouraged about how far away you feel you are from them. When you do get disheartened because your dreams seem unattainable, just remind yourself that although you are not there yet, you are getting closer every day to a better life.
Also stay open to the idea that you might get something different from what you expect will make you happy right now, but it will be something that is actually more appropriate and attainable for you. This means remaining flexible to God’s greater wisdom, and being ready to shift gears if and when it becomes necessary.
Photo by Pixabay
Hold your dreams, but hold them lightly. Think of them as a little baby bird you have in your hand, who will get crushed if you squeeze it too hard. Only if you hold it gently will it grow healthy and strong enough to be able to soar one day.
Next time: A guided meditation to help you visualize your goals.
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I learned about St. Lucy at a very young age, when my mother told me she believed that her prayers to this great saint saved my eyesight when I was an infant. It was customary at that time to put silver nitrate into the eyes of newborn babies to prevent bacterial infections that can occur during birth. Unfortunately, in my case too much silver nitrate was applied to my eyes, which can cause severe inflammation, corneal melting and scarring, and significant vision impairment. My mother said that for a while my eyes were stuck shut, and the doctors didn’t know if I would suffer vision loss. Being Italian-American and knowing that Santa Lucia, greatly venerated in Italy, is the patron saint of eyes, my Mom fervently prayed to her on my behalf. Fortunately, my eyes cleared up, and I suffered no permanent damage to my vision. (In the 1980’s, erythromycin replaced silver nitrate as a precautionary treatment for newborn babies’ eyes.)
As a result of this incident, St. Lucy always has held a special place in my heart, and I’ve had a devotion to her all my life. I even picked Lucy as my confirmation name. I have invoked her intercession whenever I or a loved one have had any type of eye problem, and she has always helped us.
Because Lucia lived so long ago, most of her history has been lost to time. We do have some basic facts about her, as well as legends that have persisted over the centuries. The following account is the one that has stood the test of time and seems the most plausible:
Lucia was born in Siracusa (Syracuse) in Sicily, Italy in or around the year 283. Her parents were wealthy members of the nobility. Her father was of Roman origin, but there seems to be no record of his name. He died when Lucia was five years old. Her mother’s name was Eutychia and she was seemingly of Greek ancestry. Lucia converted to Christianity at a young age and developed a devotion to St. Agatha, a virgin who was martyred in Catania, Sicily, around 251 AD. Like Agatha, Lucia consecrated her virginity to God and vowed never to marry.
Her mother, Eutychia, is said to have suffered from a chronic hemorrhagic condition and feared that she did not have long to live. She worried about Lucia being left alone after her death, so she arranged Lucia’s betrothal to a wealthy young man from a noble pagan family. It’s possible that Eutychia was unaware of Lucia’s vow of virginity, or else her concern for Lucia’s future caused her to ignore the vow. But somehow, Lucia managed to delay the marriage for the next several years.
Having heard of the many cures reported by people who had traveled to St. Agatha’s tomb in Catania to invoke her intercession, Lucia persuaded her mother make a pilgrimage with her to the tomb to request St. Agatha’s intercession to cure Eutychia of her malady. Lucia hoped not only for the healing of her mother, but that the healing might convince her mother that Lucia’s Christian faith was indeed the best choice for her life.
Lucia and Eutychia traveled to Catania, which was less than 50 miles from their home, and prayed at St. Agatha’s tomb for Eutychia’s healing. While there, Lucia had a dream in which St. Agatha told her that Eutychia would be cured because of Lucia’s faith. Agatha also told her, “Soon you will be the glory of Siracusa, as I am of Catania.” Upon awakening, Lucia cried to Eutychia, “O mother, mother, you are healed!”
Lucia’s Dream at St. Agatha’s Tomb 14th-century painting by Giovanni di Bartolommeo Cristiani
Eutychia’s condition did indeed improve, so when they returned home Lucia took the opportunity to convince her mother to allow Lucia to distribute her dowry money to the poor and live the celibate life she had vowed to God years earlier. At first, Eutychia tried to persuade Lucia that it would be imprudent to dispose of all her money straightaway, and suggested that Lucia instead bequeath it in her will. Lucia is reported to have replied, “Whatever you give away at death for the Lord’s sake you give because you cannot take it with you. Give now to the true Savior, while you are healthy, whatever you intended to give away at your death.” Eutychia finally agreed, and Lucia began to distribute her dowry money to the poor.
In 303 A.D., the Roman Emperor Diocletian issued an edict that outlawed the Christian religion throughout the Roman Empire. Christians were forbidden to gather for worship, their churches were destroyed, and sacred Christian texts were abolished. Christian civil servants or members of the nobility were stripped of their ranks, and their belongings confiscated. Christians were forced to offer sacrifice to the Emperor and the Roman gods. To refuse meant torture and even execution.
Tradition says that Lucia visited the poor, the homebound, and Christians hiding in the catacombs, delivering wheat and bread to them. Because she often went at night to avoid being discovered, she carried a lamp to light her way. Sometimes, to keep her hands free to carry the provisions, she wore on her head a wreath crowned with candles. An early Christian text records her as telling her fellow Christians by way of encouragement: “To God’s servants the right words will not be wanting, for the Holy Spirit speaks in us. All who live piously and chastely are temples of the Holy Spirit.”
Eventually, gossip about Lucia’s donation of her dowry to the poor reached her prospective bridegroom. He became enraged, either because of the rejection of realizing that Lucia had no intention of becoming his bride, or because of his greed over the loss of her dowry money – and probably both. He reported to Paschasius, the Governor of Siracusa, that Lucia was a practicing Christian.
Lucia was arrested and questioned by the Governor. He ordered her to offer a sacrifice to the Roman gods, but of course she refused.A later text on Roman martyrs reports her to have said: “I know but one sacrifice pure and full of honor, which I can offer. This is to visit orphans and widows in their tribulation, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. For three years, I have daily offered this sacrifice to my God and Father, and now I long for the happiness of offering myself to Him as a living victim. His holy will be done.”
Lucia also told the Governor that his worship of the Roman Gods would condemn his soul before the one true God, and that the reign of Diocletian would soon come to an end. This so outraged Paschasius that he ordered her to be taken to a brothel and forced into prostitution, the ultimate mockery of her Christianity and vow of virginity. Legend tells, however, that Lucia was so filled with the Holy Spirit that she became immovable. No efforts on the part of her captors was able to budge her, not even when they attempted to drag her by tying her to the yoke of a team of oxen. They then surrounded her with wood and set it on fire, but the flames did not harm her.
To further torture her, Lucia’s eyes, which were reportedly very beautiful, were gouged out by her captors. Another account says that Lucia gouged them out herself, in an effort to make herself unattractive to her suitor or any man who would attempt to defile her. (Personally, I find the torture theory to be more plausible than the self-mutilation theory.) Her frustrated captors finally succeeded in killing her by piercing her through the neck with a sword. Early literature on the martyrs reports Lucia to have said as she was dying: “O Siracusa, O place of my birth, as Catania finds its safety and glory beneath the guardianship of my sister Agatha, so shall you be shielded by me, if you are willing to embrace that Faith for the truth of which I shed my blood.”
“Santa Lucia” by Carlo Dolci, 1616
Whatever the real cause of Lucia’s loss of her eyes, when her body was being prepared for burial, it was discovered that her beautiful eyes had been restored by God. This is the reason Lucia is honored as the patron saint of those suffering from blindness and eye diseases, and why she is most often depicted in art holding her eyes on a golden platter.
Whatever one believes about the legends that have sprung up around Lucia’s life, one thing is clear: She had to have been a woman of a particularly heroic nature, because devotion to her grew exponentially after her death. The first writings about her were in the Acts of the Martyrs, written in the late fifth century. Many miracles were attributed to her, and by the sixth century she was included in the Sacramentary of Pope Gregory I, and also in the Roman Martyrology. She was honored throughout the Christian world until the Protestant Reformation. In England, her feast day of Dec. 13 was at one time considered a holy day, on which no work except farming was allowed. Today, St. Lucy is still venerated in the Roman Catholic, Orthodox, Lutheran and Anglican Churches.
Lucy holds the honor of being one of several women saints mentioned in the Roman Catholic Eucharistic Prayer I said at Mass: “To us, also, your servants, who, though sinners, hope in your abundant mercies, graciously grant some share and fellowship with your holy Apostles and Martyrs: with John the Baptist, Stephen, Matthias, Barnabas, Ignatius, Alexander, Marcellinus, Peter, Felicity, Perpetua, Agatha, Lucy, Agnes, Cecilia, Anastasia, and all your Saints….”
St. Lucy is the patroness of Siracusa and Perugia in Italy, the town of Olon in Ecuador, and Guane, Santander, Colombia. The island of St. Lucia in the Caribbean is named after her. She is the patron of authors, glaziers, laborers, martyrs, peasants, saddlers, salesmen, and stained glass workers. Besides her special patronage of people with blindness and diseases of the eye, she is invoked against hemorrhages, dysentery, and throat infections. In art, she is usually pictured carrying her eyes on a golden plate, and sometimes holding a palm branch, symbolic of martyrs. She also is sometimes depicted with the symbols of a lamp, dagger, sword, or two oxen.
St. Lucy’s current feast day is December 13, during Advent. Before the calendar reforms, her feast day was also the Winter Solstice. Since this was the shortest and darkest day of the year, and because her name, Lucia, derives from the Latin word for light (“lux”), she stands as a symbolic bearer of light in the darkness. Thus, her feast day became a festival of light.
One legend tells that during a famine in Italy, ships filled with wheat sailed into the harbors on St. Lucy’s feast day, saving the people from starvation. Because of this, in Sicily it is traditional to make “cuccia,” a dish of boiled wheat berries, mixed with ricotta and honey or served as a soup with beans, to celebrate her feast day. Croatians plant wheat in a pot indoors on Dec. 13, and by Christmas, when the shoots have emerged, they are put next to the Nativity manger as a gift to the Christ Child and a symbol of the Eucharist, which is made of wheat.
A similar legend states that on the Winter Solstice during a famine in Sweden, a boat came into sight sailing across the lake. St. Lucy could be seen at the prow of the boat, dressed in white with a heavenly light emanating from her. Upon the boat’s docking at the shore, she handed out sacks of wheat to the starving people. To commemorate this, Scandinavians bake a sweet saffron bread called “Lussekatter,” and bring it to the poor, sick, and shut-ins on Dec. 13. In Scandinavian countries, on “lucienatt” (Lucy night), there is a procession of schoolchildren carrying candles and singing the “Santa Lucia” song. They are led by a girl dressed as Lucia in a white dress, with the wreath crown of candles on her head. The “Santa Lucia” song, which is popular in many countries, was written by the Neapolitan composer Teodoro Cottrau in 1850. There is a Scandinavian version as well, using the same melody but with Swedish lyrics. In some villages in the Philippines, a St. Lucy novena (9 days of prayer) is held before her feast day. There is a procession of St. Lucy’s image every morning at the village center during the 9 days of the novena.
Even though Lucy lived so long ago that there is little known about her, it is extraordinary that she has remained a beloved and venerated figure for over 1700 years. This fact stands as an enduring testimony to her sanctity, her courage, and her great love of Christ and her fellow humans. Her light still shines brightly today, as it did so many centuries ago. It is a light that is sorely needed in our present time, which is so often enveloped in the darkness of hatred, violence and evil. St. Lucy stands near to us as a steadfast friend in the communion of saints, ready to intercede with God on our behalf. For myself, I am grateful for her intercession in saving me from blindness, allowing me to be able to see the light and beauty of God’s creation. Grazie, Santa Lucia!
Traditional Prayer to St. Lucy:
“Saint Lucy, you did not hide your light under a basket, but let it shine for the whole world, for all the centuries to see. We may not suffer torture in our lives the way you did, but we are still called to let the light of our Christianity illumine our daily lives. Please help us to have the courage to bring our Christianity into our work, our recreation, our relationships, our conversation – every corner of our day.
By your intercession with God, obtain for us perfect vision for our bodily eyes and the grace to use them for God’s greater honor and glory and the salvation of all people. Saint Lucy, virgin and martyr, hear our prayers and obtain our petitions. Amen.”
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Does this sometimes happen to you? You wake up in the morning, feeling hopeful and looking forward to your day. Then you switch on the TV or or check out your favorite online news source, and there it is: another war, terrorist attack, school shooting, or other heinous, senseless act of violence. Disturbing images of death, horror and destruction instantly transform your positive, optimistic mood into one of sorrow, disgust and fear. Even the commercials are depressing, constantly filling our minds with messages about terrible diseases, and drugs with horrific side effects. It’s as if they want to brainwash us into becoming sick by constantly suggesting it to us.
Terrifying questions and scenarios fill your mind: Where will the next attack happen? What if my loved ones or I are the next victims? Will there ever be peace on earth? Is it futile to plan, hope and dream about the future? Do we even have a future? How can I stay hopeful when the world is such a mess?
During these troubled times, we are naturally concerned about our own country and the world. We wonder what we possibly can do to stay hopeful and to do our part to help. Excessive grief, fear and anxiety about the world’s troubles will keep us from functioning effectively. It’s important to maintain the right perspective so that we don’t become frightened and discouraged. Each one of us is on earth to fulfill a unique purpose, and unless we do, we will never feel peace, regardless of what is happening in the world. As we go about our day-to-day lives, we need to stay hopeful and open to God’s Light and love, grounding ourselves in prayer, reflection, meditation, and living our beliefs as authentically as possible.
In John 15:17-19, Jesus tells His apostles: “This I command you: love one another. If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own, but because you do not belong to the world, the world hates you.”
The world is not troubled because of God, but because it ignores what God is and how God wishes people to live. God is Love, and knows no other way to be. If humankind truly understood this, it would open our eyes forever, and evil and hatred would cease to have any power in the world. But we will not be able to recognize God as long as we are too busy deciding what we think God should be, trying to force the Boundless and Unlimited to fit into our limited, human perception. Spontaneous glimpses of God occur when human beings are focused on one another instead of on themselves. If we wish to see God here on earth, we must seek God in one another. We must spread Divine Light and love wherever and whenever we can.
The world won’t be saved by violence or empty words, but by love and truth. Strictly human ideas of God give opinions, not truth, and result in discord and hatred. Through troubled times, we must keep honoring Truth and giving it to others. God is truly recognized only when people stop fighting about who or what God is and instead aspire to the highest of all human endeavors: the simple ability to love. That’s all God wants of us. What we can do to help the world is love and work and stop dwelling on fear and anxiety. We can concentrate on only one thing at a time; if we fill our minds with Light, there will be no room for darkness and fear.
Inner peace is independent of what goes on around us. It’s like armor, shielding our souls from the evil and turmoil of the world, allowing us to stay positive, calm, and strong. Regardless of whether times are good or bad, we give our lives meaning by never losing sight of our high ideals or our purpose. If conflict appears to surround us, if we feel doubt and confusion about religious or political views and other issues, we shouldn’t dwell on these things until we lose all hope. Answering to the world instead of to our higher purpose will prevent us from living out God’s plan for our lives. We must not get discouraged or frightened when restless and misguided people threaten peace on earth. The world cannot destroy our inner peace unless we let it.
10 tips to stay positive and hopeful:
When worry and sorrow threaten your peace of mind, take some time to quiet your mind. Learn how to meditate, even if for just a few minutes a day. Keep a journal in which you record your thoughts, fears, and prayers. Talk to God about your anxieties and concerns, then release them into God’s care. Above all, quiet your mind to hear God’s gentle whispers of reassurance within your soul.
Don’t stay glued to news programs! Nowadays, news is available 24/7 in all its gory detail, and while you’re watching one horrible news story, there is a crawl at the bottom of the screen telling about still more depressing news. So it’s important to strictly limit the amount of time you spend absorbing all this negativity. Decide that you will spend a brief period of time every day catching up on important events. Set a time limit (i.e., 15 minutes) and stick to it. Then turn your attention to other, more productive, positive things and do not look at or read the news again until the following day.
Read or listen to positive, motivating, spiritually-uplifting material. Copy in your journal any passages you read/hear that speak to your soul.
Post some comforting quotes and/or scripture verses where they will constantly remind you that God is holding you with loving care, and ultimately all will be well.
Listen to soothing and/or inspirational music. Classical music works particularly well in having a quieting effect on the mind.
Spend time with loved ones — human and animal — and in activities that nurture your spirit and remind you that the world is still a beautiful place filled with much love and goodness.
Physical activity reduces stress and restores equilibrium. Whether you enjoy walking in nature, working out at the gym, dancing, or doing yoga, moving your body will help relax and refresh your mind and spirit.
Continue to plan, dream and set goals. “Where there’s life there’s hope” may be a cliche, but it’s true! Planning for our future keeps us hopeful and focused on the positive.
Don’t underestimate the power of doing good right where you are. A man who was distraught and heartbroken over all the trouble in the world cried out to God, “Why don’t you send help?” God replied, “I did send help. I sent you!” The ripple effect is a reality; however, it works for both good and bad actions. Drop your pebble of love and kindness into the lake of your daily life, and the ripples will keep spreading outward. You may never see all the results during your earthly life, but trust that they are happening!
The next time a frightening news report or act of violence disturbs your inner peace, stay hopeful by remembering God’s own promises:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.” ~ Psalm 32:8
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” ~ James 1:5
“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.” ~ Isaiah 30:21
“Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.” ~ Psalm 119:105
And finally, take comfort in the promise of Isaiah 42:16: “I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them.”
Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
PRAYER FOR PEACE IN THE WORLD
Heavenly Creator, human rights are precious in your Your sight, and we ask you to answer our prayers for freedom, justice, and peace for all the nations of the world. Give our military the power to stand firm against its attackers. Make them aware of their responsibility to represent our nation with honor, truth, spiritual fortitude and moral courage, that our freedom may endure and spread outward to touch others who desperately need to be free.
Honoring our nation should not take precedence over honoring You, so let our leaders be governed by Your will. You are not a God of violence, but of Light and love. Help others to see You this way, and not use Your name as an excuse to hurt their fellow humans. Give us Your gifts of strength and peace. Help us to see ourselves without the self-righteous arrogance that spurns those who are different, yet with enough self-respect to fight for what is right and just.
We pray that You will bring an end to hatred and evil, and grant us safe and fruitful times blessed by Your peace and love. Help our nation to recognize its great power to help and guide its fellow nations, yet keep us ever humble as children of Your great mercy and truth. Honoring Your will is the only road that leads to peace. Gently guide our steps on the path You have set before us. Amen.
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In his book, The Healing Power of Doing Good, Allan Luks tells the story of a well-meaning, charitable woman who desperately wanted to help humankind. Although she was not famous like Mother Teresa, she spent much of her life working with the homeless and destitute. But as time went on, she became more and more fixated on the outcome of what she was doing. When she couldn’t permanently change the conditions that were causing such misery, she became increasingly angry and frustrated. Without realizing it, she had become focused on personal power. This attitude eventually destroyed both her physical and emotional health.
Why are some people able to accomplish so much good and elevate their souls to great heights, while others become bitter and disillusioned? The difference is in their motivation. To God, only the heart’s true intention is important. Heroic deeds, showy displays of pious devotion, and eloquent words, do not mean as much to God as one small gesture made out of genuine love.
Personal gratification is its own reward, and sometimes God allows it in order to encourage us. It’s natural to be happy when we receive gratitude for our service to others; it is human nature to want love and approval from other people. It’s also true that the very act of helping others brings with it a feeling of deep satisfaction and often lifts our own mood when we are feeling depressed or troubled. To enjoy these positive feelings does not mean that we are selfishly motivated.
But this alone is not the criteria by which we should judge which deeds are of the most value. We might envision ourselves accomplishing wonderful things that show us in the best possible light, but our most worthwhile achievements will not always be the ones that satisfy our ego or have an immediately apparent outcome. Rather, they might consist of things we consider insignificant.
When an actor is working on a scene, the director or drama coach will challenge the actor by asking, “What’s your motivation?” By analyzing what drives the character, the actor will understand the character’s motives and be able to portray him more believably. It might benefit us to take a cue from the actor and ask ourselves, “What’s my motivation?”before we embark on any undertaking. For me as a Christian, I must ask myself not only “What would Jesus do?” but “Why would Jesus do it?”
Here’s a checklist for determining your motivation (you have to be totally honest for it to work!):
Am I doing good works or helping someone so I can feel important and/or show everyone how virtuous I am? For some of us, this is often the true, secret motivation lurking behind the outward altruism. When our efforts become unrewarding and tedious, when it feels like work, when the gratitude and accolades stop coming (or never come at all), will we then simply move on to something more personally gratifying? If so, our only motivation was to please ourselves, not help others or honor God.
Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said: “We must not drift away from the humble works, because these are the works nobody will do. They are never too small. We are so small we look at things in a small way. Even if we do a small thing for somebody, God, being almighty, sees everything as great. For there are many people who can do big things. But there are very few people who will do the small things.”
Mother Teresa herself suffered from spiritual desolation for a decade, during which she did not tangibly feel God’s presence, and sometimes even doubted His existence. Because she was human like the rest of us, she was subject to this “dark night of the soul.” But through it all, she continued to do her work to help others and glorify the God from Whom she felt separated. This is what elevates her soul above the ordinary, and why today we call her “Saint Teresa of Calcutta.” And this is why we can take courage and inspiration from her advice.
Am I trying to force someone to be more like me? I heard Joel Osteen confess in one of his inspiring talks that he used to criticize his wife’s habits, until one day he realized he was trying to make her over to be more like himself, even though they had distinctly different ways of doing things. This got me to thinking that all of us probably are guilty of this at one time or another. We think that just because someone doesn’t do something “our way,” he/she must be defective and needs to be made over into a “mini-me.” God has purposely created people with different personalities and ways of doing things, for a good reason! If everyone were the same, the world would be totally unbalanced. And I don’t know about you, but if I’m honest about it, the thought of everyone being like me is more than a little scary!
Do I want to “save” someone? It’s important to realize that of our own power we cannot truly save anyone. Only God has the power to save a person, and although He might sometimes use us as instruments to accomplish this, God will not force Himself or His will on anyone. A person must want to be saved, must decide they sincerely want to overcome whatever is holding them back from spiritual development or a better, more productive life.“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me” [Rev. 3:20]. God will not break down a locked door, and only the person needing help can turn that key, not us! We cannot take away anyone’s suffering or figure out the reasons for it. We cannot “save” anyone. We can only offer ourselves as channels of God’s healing and love, realizing that the person we are trying to help must do their own part to open to it.
Am I making someone dependent on me? A common source of confusion is the concept of helping people versus taking over their responsibility, making them rely too much on us, or enabling them to continue on a destructive course. Many people subconsciously derive satisfaction from controlling others and making them feel indebted or dependent in an unhealthy way. Parents often do this with their children, but this co-dependent situation can exist in any relationship. Our role is not to make people dependent on us, but to help them achieve the self-respect and personal growth that come only out of effort and hardship. We also need to remember that God might have a different path in mind for this person than what we think is the “right way.”
Do I fulfill my religious obligations only when I’m in the mood or only because I fear God’s punishment? True, it might be better to do it for those reasons than not at all, and we all have times when we’re less than enthusiastic about our prayer time or attending religious services as we know we should. However, it would benefit us spiritually much more if we recognized these things as opportunities to show love and gratitude to God and enrich our souls. Fulfilling our spiritual obligations when we’re not in the mood is probably even more pleasing to God, because it shows Him that we are putting Him before our own feelings.
People often say, “I don’t get anything out of going to church/synagogue.” This is true for everyone at one time or another. There are times you might just sit there and not feel attentive or uplifted at all. However, you might also find, as I often have, that once you are in a place of worship, the peace and quiet and sense of God’s presence will soothe you and lift your spirits more than you expected it would. But even if this doesn’t always happen, the point is not for us to get anything out of it but to give something to God. Remember that God is never outdone in generosity – if you give Him this little bit of time out of your busy week, He will repay you in blessings a hundredfold! Of course, if you are avoiding in-person religious services due to health or other valid reasons, this is a different matter. But we can still spend some “quality time” with God in other ways. The important thing is to honor God by setting aside some time out of our lives that is strictly for God alone.
Do I try to “bargain” with God? Sometimes we might promise God all sorts of things, and make the effort to do good works, in order to barter with God for favors (“I’ll do this for You if You give me what I want”). Then when we conclude that God did not keep “His end of the bargain,” we become bitter and disillusioned. Even if things do work out as we hoped, we often forget to keep our promises to God, or we drop our good works because we have gotten what we wanted. God does not bargain with us. He already knows what we really need (not just what we think we want) and the best possible outcome for any situation, not only for us but for others who might be involved.
God gives us blessings out of His infinite love for us, not because He is swayed by our impressive bargaining power! If God grants you a blessing and you want to do something for Him to show your gratitude, this is wonderful. But don’t dangle a carrot in front of God. He doesn’t need our carrots. Give from your heart; don’t give with strings attached.
Am I too focused on the outcome of my efforts? This is a tough one! We all want to know that our efforts meant something, that they had a positive effect. But not seeing results doesn’t mean our efforts were in vain or that God is displeased with our work. It simply means that the time is not yet right, or our efforts were thwarted by another person’s attitude or lack of openness. Sometimes, God has plans for our work or for another soul that do not conform to our own ideas. Having the right motives means that if God wills a different outcome, or if he doesn’t let us see successful results from our efforts, we will trust His better judgment and infinite wisdom. The only thing that matters to God is the effort we made and our intentions when we did it.
Our true worth is not measured by talent, intelligence, or worldly success, but by how much we love and how open we are to others. When we strive to be of service to God or to our fellow humans for God’s sake, rather than our own ulterior motives, our smallest actions take on a Divine magnificence, which shines through our words and actions as an inspiration to others. We all will leave this earth one day, and our deeds might be forgotten. But if our motives were pure, our actions will be glorified in eternity and our souls will be radiant reflections of God’s all-encompassing love. Our reward will far surpass our greatest efforts or any earthly satisfaction. This should be our primary motivation.
You’ve lost your wallet with your driver’s license, credit cards, and money just withdrawn from the ATM. Quick — who ya gonna call? Chances are, if you’re like most Catholics, you’ll enlist the aid of St. Anthony of Padua, renowned for his ability to recover everything from a missing child to a misplaced set of house keys. But this is only one of the many powers attributed to this extraordinary saint, acknowledged as one of the greatest miracle workers of all time.
He began his remarkable life at Lisbon, Portugal in 1195 and was christened “Fernando.” Little is known of his early years. Experts cannot even agree on his parents’ names, but it is generally believed they were wealthy members of the nobility. He was educated at the Cathedral school in Lisbon, and at the age of 15 joined the Canons Regular of St. Augustine. In 1212 he was transferred to Coimbra in order to devote himself more fully to prayer and study, away from the distraction of frequent visits by family and friends.
In 1220 Don Pedro, Crown Prince of Portugal, brought from Morocco the relics of the first Franciscan martyrs. Seized with a new zeal to be a missionary and martyr, he left the Augustinians to join the Franciscan Order, founded about a decade earlier in Assisi by Francesco Bernardone (who would become known as Francis of Assisi). He took the name Anthony after Antony of Egypt, founder and father of organized Christian monasticism. Shortly thereafter, he was permitted to go as a missionary to Morocco, but God had other plans for him.
Immediately upon his arrival, he became so ill with malaria that he was forced to return to Europe. The ship on which he booked passage was diverted off course by severe storms and docked in Sicily. He recuperated there for several months, then went to Assisi, where he was assigned to the hermitage near Forli, a town outside Bologna. Although a brilliant scholar with a profound knowledge of Scripture, his great humility caused him to say nothing of his scholastic achievements. He lived quietly, serving the other Brothers and working in the kitchen.
One day, he accompanied some other Friars to Forli for an ordination. At the last minute there was no one available to preach, and in desperation the Superior asked Anthony to speak whatever the Holy Spirit prompted. Things would never be the same again! Although timid at first, Anthony was soon preaching so eloquently and fervently that everyone was amazed. Thus began the aspect of his public life for which he would become the most renowned: preaching. “When the Holy Spirit enters a soul,” he wrote, “He fills it with His fire and lets it enkindle others.” He had all the qualities of a successful preacher: a charismatic presence, clear, resonant voice, attractive appearance and magnetic personality. Although the Franciscans were guarded in their attitude toward book learning, Francis was so impressed by Anthony’s newly-discovered ability that he appointed him as teacher of theology to the Franciscans.
During the remainder of his short life, Anthony’s achievements were astounding. Crowds numbering over 30,000 flocked to hear him speak. He preached so forcefully against heresy, he became known as malleus hereticorum, “Hammer of the Heretics.” Thousands of conversions followed his compelling sermons, and miracles abounded wherever he went. Many of these miracles are legendary: Along the coast of Rimini, fish rose out of the water as he preached. Poisoned food offered to Anthony by his enemies was rendered harmless after he made the sign of the cross over it. A young man’s amputated foot was miraculously restored at Anthony’s touch.
In 1226, after the death of Francis of Assisi, Anthony eventually made his home in Padua, where he was greatly revered. During Lent in 1231, he preached a powerful series of sermons that were to be his last. Shortly after Easter he became fatally ill with edema, and died in Vercelli on June 13, 1231, at the age of 36. Immediately after his death he appeared to Thomas Gallo, the Abbott at Vercelli. Numerous miracles followed, and he was canonized on May 30, 1232, less than a year later — one of the fastest canonization processes in the Church’s history! Pope Gregory IX, who had known him personally, called Anthony the “Ark of the Covenant,” because of his prodigious knowledge of Holy Scripture.
Thirty years later, Anthony’s body was exhumed and his tongue found to be perfectly preserved. It remains uncorrupt to this day. When St. Bonaventure beheld this miracle, he exclaimed, “O Blessed Tongue, that always praised the Lord and made others bless Him, now it is evident what great merit you have before God!”
So how did he come to be regarded as “Finder of the Lost?” It all began with a cherished book of Psalms belonging to Anthony, in which he kept written notes for use in teaching theology to the friars. One day a novice suddenly deserted the monastery, taking with him, for reasons unknown, Anthony’s precious Psalm book. Anthony pleaded with Heaven for its return. The novice soon had a change of heart and not only returned the book, but rejoined the Franciscan Order. After Anthony’s death, people invoked his help in finding lost and stolen things, and so many of these were recovered that he became known as the patron saint of lost articles.
His patronage also includes: amputees, animals, barrenness, boatmen, donkeys, the elderly, expectant mothers, fishermen, harvests, horses, mariners, Native Americans, the oppressed, the poor, Portugal, the Tigua Indian tribe, travelers, against shipwrecks and starvation.
In paintings St. Anthony is often depicted holding the Child Jesus. This custom dates back to a 17th-century legend which says that while staying at a friend’s house, Anthony was spied on by his host, who found him in a state of rapture with the Christ Child in his arms.
Today, more than 750 years after his death, Anthony of Padua is one of the most popular and powerful saints of the Church, the many miracles attributed to him over the centuries earning him the title of “The Wonder-Working Saint.” His Feast Day is June 13th.
WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM ST. ANTHONY
So, what are some lessons we can take from St. Anthony’s example? In thinking about his life, here are a few I came up with:
FOCUS. No doubt Fernando (later to be called Anthony) greatly loved his family and friends, but even as a teenager, he understood the value of avoiding distraction, so that he could stay focused on his studies and spiritual growth. How often do we let distractions keep us from doing things that are vital to our future and our development as a person? Distractions are much more rampant than they were in Anthony’s day, but we can still learn to be disciplined enough to know when to say “no” and keep ourselves focused on what is most important.
HUMILITY & INDEPENDENCE FROM THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHER PEOPLE: Not only were Anthony’s dreams thwarted by illness and other difficulties, but he was reassigned to a new location and given the most menial of tasks to perform. He probably could have asserted himself and insisted that, with his superior education, he should be given more prestigious work to do. But he honored his vow of obedience to his superiors, and accepted with grace and humility the tasks he was assigned. He placed his future in the hands of God, who knew his abilities and how to use them. In today’s world, it seems that everyone is vying for attention and approval from others. Spending just a few minutes on social media makes this apparent. Many times, people are trying to get attention for the most superficial reasons, instead of earning it by actual achievements. Anthony knew that, in time, he would fulfill his potential according to God’s plan, and he was patient and humble enough to wait.
LEAVING OURSELVES OPEN TO THE PROMPTING OF THE SPIRIT. Anthony was probably terrified at the prospect of suddenly being called upon to preach publicly, without any preparation. He could have refused, but again, he cooperated with his superiors and trusted in God – with the most amazing results! When we open ourselves to the Holy Spirit, He will do amazing things through us as well.
GOD’S PLAN DIFFERED FROM ANTHONY’S, BUT HE ACCEPTED THIS WITH GRACE AND COURAGE. Anthony dreamed of doing great things for God, to be sent as a missionary to Morocco and maybe even die for his Faith. He almost made it to his first goal, but God knew that Anthony’s destiny would be best served by staying close to home. This is a perfect example of “thriving where you are planted.” We don’t know how Anthony would have fared had he stayed in Morocco, but it’s doubtful that he could have achieved more greatness than he did by by following God’s will and doing his best to thrive where he was planted in Italy. This is a reminder to us to not get discouraged when our plans don’t work out, because God sees the big picture and will lead us to our destiny, if we trust in Him.
GUARDING THE TONGUE. Because Anthony was so renowned as a preacher, and the Holy Spirit infused him with such great wisdom in his speech, it’s not surprising that after Anthony’s death, the part of his body that God preserved from corruption was his tongue. St. Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians:“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29.Anthony perfectly exemplified what St. Paul meant, and it’s a heads-up to us that our words can build up or destroy, edify or corrupt. Anthony’s incorrupt tongue is a symbol that his words were never used to corrupt, but only to spread God’s Light and love to everyone who heard him speak.
WE DON’T ALWAYS KNOW FOR WHAT WE WILL BE MOST LOVED AND REMEMBERED. Many Catholics know the little prayer, “Something’s lost and can’t be found. Quick, St. Anthony, look around!” It may seem strange that, given all of Anthony’s remarkable achievements during his lifetime, today most people know him best as “Finder of the Lost.” But I think God allows this because it makes St. Anthony so relatable to all of us ordinary people, to whom losing something necessary or precious is a very real concern. He, too, had lost something precious and was so upset that he pleaded with God to help him recover it. St. Anthony is one of the best-loved saints, and I think that’s because so many of us have called upon his help when we’ve lost something important, and when we found it, we were so grateful to him for interceding on our behalf, it made him seem like a good friend. This makes him seem more accessible than if he were known just as a great preacher and miracle-worker.
None of us truly knows, until we die, which deeds or characteristics we will be most remembered for, or which touched other people’s lives the most. Like St. Anthony, we can only do our best to live our lives with love and kindness.
TRADITIONAL PRAYER TO ST. ANTHONY
Holy Saint Anthony, gentle and powerful in your help, your love for God and charity for His creatures, made you worthy, when on earth, to possess miraculous powers. Miracles waited on your word, which you were always ready to request for those in trouble or anxiety. Encouraged by this thought, I implore you to obtain for me (request). The answer to my prayer may require a miracle. Even so, you are the Saint of miracles. Gentle and loving Saint Anthony, whose heart is ever full of human sympathy, take my petition to the Infant Savior for whom you have such a great love, and the gratitude of my heart will ever be yours. Amen.
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Once upon a time, a beautiful fruit tree found itself afflicted with arrested growth and tired, droopy leaves, tested by drought, wind and storms. It asked itself, “Why is this happening to me? I’ve tried very hard to grow and give of my fruit. I guess I must have done something wrong. I should just give up and forget about any fruit I could have grown!“
The tree asked itself over and over how it could return to the state of fruitful and productive growth it once had, because it felt useless and put-upon and shriveled up. But no matter how much it tried, nothing changed. The tree stayed barren.
A time came, however, when the sun shone, the gentle rain fell, and the troubled period of dormancy passed. It turned this tired old tree into a newly-blossoming thing of great beauty. It felt eager to grow again, and it saw itself bear wonderful fruit.
Are you feeling stagnated in your life? Do you feel confused, uncertain about your future and your goals, about how to keep growing, feel more useful, and use your gifts? Nothing can make us more downhearted than to feel useless or as if we’re stuck in a rut. This quickly can lead to depression, so it’s best to deal with feelings of stagnation as soon as they arise.
Here are some practical ways to help you overcome this condition and get you out of that rut:
Think of your life as the tree in the preceding story, which has no trouble bearing fruit when conditions are right, but which withers under constant heat, or grows too many leaves and not enough fruit when atmospheric conditions are unfavorable. Under adverse conditions, your gifts become dormant and seem to no longer exist.But a time will come when you will feel better, you’ll see your life improve, you will open your mind to Light once again and share that Light with others. “He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he does shall prosper.” [Psalms 1:3]
Make a list of past achievements about which you are justifiably proud. If you’ve had recent failures or setbacks, remembering all the times you succeeded in overcoming obstacles will reassure you that you can do it again! For some tips to help you deal with setbacks, see my prior post,“Changing Setbacks Into Success: Finishing the Race.”
Keep learning new things. Some people think that once they’re out of school, there is no longer a need to learn anything new. Although this often is a problem with older people, especially after they retire, it can be a problem at any age or stage of life. Never stop striving to acquire knowledge, learn new skills and formulate new goals. This keeps us young, keeps our brains sharps, and makes us more interesting to other people as well.
Feeling overwhelmed by a task, situation, or trying to assimilate too much information at oncecan paralyze us. Give your brain some rest while it subconsciously assimilates all the new information you’ve been feeding it. Read a lighthearted novel, watch an entertaining show on Netflix, or enjoy some outdoor activities for a while. If a task is overwhelming, break it down into manageable steps and try to do something every day in relation to the task, no matter how small. Give yourself a little reward for each accomplishment. You will find that you’ll build momentum from even the smallest actions.
Let go of unreasonable expectations about yourself. Maybe what you’ve been trying to accomplish is out of your skill set right now, or perhaps the time frame you’ve given yourself is too limiting. Re-evaluate your expectations and adjust them to a more reasonable level.
Evaluate criticism from others to determine whether it’s justified and constructive. If it is, consider utilizing the other person’s advice; if it isn’t, dismiss it and trust your own inner guidance. Remember that many people who accomplished great things did not at first have the approval of other people.
Give yourself time to adapt to big life changes. Entering a new phase of life, brought on by events such as graduation, marriage, relocation, retirement, etc., even if happy, can be very stressful. Once the initial excitement wears off, we might feel let down and not know what our next step should be. So be patient with yourself. You’ll find that in time, as you adjust to your new situation, your enthusiasm and ambition will return.
Dealing with recent grief and loss can make us feel stuck in sorrow and inertia. This is a normal part of the grieving process, as we learn to cope with the “new normal.” Remember that although things will never be quite the same, life still can be very good. As you emerge from the worst of the grief, you will begin to regain your vitality. If, however, you find that you are unable to cope with the loss on your own, seek the help of a professional counselor or therapist.
Realize that you might be on the brink of a big breakthrough. Sometimes a period of inertia and stagnation precedes a great change in our lives and a new goal or direction that we didn’t foresee. This is like planting a seed: You might not see anything happening above the ground, but underneath there is great activity! So keep on praying, and hold on to your dream, but don’t get anxious about it. Relax, and give it some time to emerge.
Determine what your gifts and strengths are. It’s hard to set goals when we’re not sure of what we’re good at. Figure out what makes you unique, what special gifts you possess that can bring you fulfillment and make the world a brighter place. You can find lots of useful tips in my three-part series, 7 Steps to Sharing Your Talents & Gifts
Give yourself some downtime. When we have been relentlessly pursuing our dreams and working very hard to accomplish things, it’s inevitable that at some point we just run out of steam, leading to exhaustion and burnout. Take some time to decompress and recharge your batteries!
Do not neglect your own needs while taking care of others. Remember that you cannot be of much help to other people if you’re not seeing to your own health and mental well-being. My post, “What’s Your Motivation?” may help give you insights into this situation.
If you’re experiencing a lack of confidence, fear of failure, or fear of new things, the only solution is to power through, and take the plunge of embracing new challenges and pursuing your goals, in spite of these feelings. Turning to God and seeking the support of loving family and friends can be a great help at times like this. In the words of Mark Twain, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”
Is there a lack of challenge or excitement in your life? We all go through times when life just isn’t all that interesting or stimulating. The reasons for these barren periods are numerous, but they can sink us into a state of apathy and boredom that’s hard to shake. Do some soul-searching about what you truly want out of life and what new interests you can pursue. Refer to my post, “Your Ideal Life”for some useful tips. Also think about what you might have once loved to do but gave up for one reason or another. This might be the time to revive that old passion! Consider taking a trip for a change of scenery and some new adventures. You don’t have to go very far or spend a lot of money. Sometimes, just a day trip or a weekend away to someplace nearby but different can lift your spirits and pull you out of your rut.
Stay connected to God and your inner guidance. Feeling distant at times from Higher Power is part of being human, and it happens to even the greatest saints and spiritual masters. Change things up by finding a new prayer or meditation routine, pick up an inspiring book, listen to a motivating speaker, visit a different church, or go out in nature to seek God in the beauty of His creation. The feeling of disconnection eventually will pass, if you just trust the process and don’t give up trying to stay attuned to Higher Power.
Take care of yourself. If we’re not healthy physically, not taking proper care of ourselves, we won’t have the energy to feel enthused about anything. Be sure to eat right, get enough rest and exercise, avoid smoking, drugs or excessive alcohol consumption.
Recognize the importance of the little things you do. You might be frustrated at not being able to accomplish the big things you envision, leading to the feeling that you may as well not do anything at all. Realize that it is not necessarily the size or importance of the things we do that make them worthwhile. In this age of social media, with things going viral and people attaining ridiculously high numbers of followers in ways that sometimes are baffling, we can feel diminished in our own eyes if our efforts go unrecognized by the world’s standards. It helps to realize that sometimes it’s the things we do that we consider trivial that might make the most impact on other lives or be the most valued by God. Be consistent and sincere in your efforts, rather than worry about grandiose deeds or viral success, which often are fleeting and insubstantial, or even harmful to your soul in the long run. In the words of St. Teresa of Calcutta, “Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.”
Photo courtesy of Unsplash
If you’re tired and discouraged right now, stuck in a rut of stagnation, afraid that you will never grow or be productive again, realize that this is just your perception, not truth. You are experiencing a necessary dormancy, just as vital to your continued growth as it was for the tree. Trust in the cycles of life, and know that the breath of God will infuse new energy into you when the time is right.
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Part One summarized Bernadette’s life, highlighting the apparitions of Our Lady of Lourdes to Bernadette in 1858 and the miraculous healing spring which Bernadette unearthed at Our Lady’s direction. We took a look at some of her virtues and struggles. In Part Two, we continue to explore Bernadette’s characteristics and the many challenges she faced throughout her life.
Sense of Humor
Bernadette had a quick wit and a merry, sometimes mischievous, personality. At the convent, she often entertained the other sisters during recreation with her amusing stories and talent for mimicry. But her wit was always good-natured, never malicious or hurtful. Her sense of humor no doubt kept her from taking herself too seriously and becoming overwhelmed by the extremes of adulation and ridicule that came with being a public figure.
People often used any excuse to make her touch objects so they could have a blessed relic. Knowing their intentions, she would quip, “And after I touch it, how much more will it be worth?”
Charity
Bernadette loved nursing the sick and excelled at it. “She always had the kind word that relaxed, reassured, and got them to take their medicine,” said one of her patients. In November 1872 she was made Head Infirmarian at Nevers, a position she held until October 1873. Friendly and affectionate, she was a compassionate and understanding listener, who always had an encouraging word for the troubled or homesick novices her superiors often sent to her.
In the words of one of her fellow teachers: “I never heard her say an unbecoming word, nor fail in charity.”
Prayer
Admittedly incapable of lengthy recitations, Bernadette often repeated short prayers throughout the day, such as: “My God, I believe in You, hope in You; I love You.”
She loved common prayer but did not practice many private devotions, except the ones she considered most important: Mass, Communion, and the Stations of the Cross. She placed a strong emphasis on the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist and had a profound respect for priests. “The priest at the altar is always Jesus on earth,” she often said. “If you encounter a priest and an angel, the priest should be acknowledged first.”
Deluged with endless prayer petitions, she always agreed, on one condition: “I also need prayers. I don’t give something for nothing!” She was faithful to the Virgin’s message of prayer and penance given at Lourdes, and offered her prayers and sacrifices to Our Lord each day for the conversion of one sinner.
Although she had some initial difficulty learning the Rosary, it remained a favorite devotion throughout her life. She often recommended it to others, saying, “You will never say it in vain. Go to sleep reciting it…like little children who fall asleep saying ‘Mama’.” She also was devoted to St. Joseph and her Guardian Angel, and told a novice, “When you pass the chapel and haven’t time to stop, tell your Guardian Angel to take your messages to Our Lord in the tabernacle.”
Silence
Although vivacious and talkative by nature, when it came spiritual matters, Bernadette found God in the practice of recollection. She had difficulty with formal meditation, but loved the Congregation’s rule of silence during specified times and would break it only for the most urgent reasons.
“Silence was one of Bernadette’s fundamental traits,” said Bishop Forcade of Nevers. “Although people delight in attributing to her countless beautiful sayings that I, for my part, have never heard, I have always observed that she suffered, like everything else she did, simply and without words.”
Devotion to Mary
Bernadette never referred to the dogma of the Immaculate Conception, except when giving an account of the apparition of March 25 in which the Lady identified herself by that title. When speaking of the Blessed Virgin, she usually called her “my Good Mother,” or “my Mother in heaven.” Ironically, Bernadette’s earthly mother, Louise, died on December 8, 1866 — the feast of the Immaculate Conception! Of this Bernadette said, “The Blessed Virgin wanted it that way to show me that she would replace my mother, whom I had lost.”
Bernadette’s piety towards Mary was simple, trusting, daughterly, and like everything else about her, without ostentation. She always urged others to “love her very much,” exclaiming, “If you only knew how good the Blessed Virgin is!” When asked if the Virgin was beautiful, Bernadette replied, “So beautiful that when you’ve seen her once, you can’t wait to die see her again….When you’ve seen her, you can’t love this world anymore.”
Most of the time, however, Bernadette spoke of the Lady of Lourdes only when asked, and then her answers were brief, objective and reserved. Over time, Bernadette’s memory of the apparitions grew dimmer, and she could no longer see a clear image in her mind’s eye. But she didn’t need a picture, because it was forever engraved in her heart.
The Shrine of the Grotto at Lourdes as it appears today
Our Lady’s Promise
Although Bernadette rarely spoke of the Virgin’ s words, “I cannot promise to make you happy in this world, but in the next,” she accepted them fully as her own personal penance. She did not consider the second part of the promise to be a guarantee of heaven, but conditional upon her doing what was required. Throughout her life, she suffered illness, frustration, separation from family, and every public reaction to her from veneration to curiosity to harassment and ridicule. “Oh, how tiresome this is!” she would sigh. “When will they stop treating me like a strange animal?”
A considerable amount has been written, much of it exaggerated, about the complex relationship between Bernadette and her superiors at Nevers, particularly Mother Marie-Therese Vauzou. It’s true, however, that this situation was one of Bernadette’s heaviest crosses. Mother Vauzou, despite her initial excitement at having the visionary of Lourdes join the Order, was often cold and severe with Bernadette, subjecting her to frequent humiliation and testing her almost beyond endurance.
One likely explanation was the problem presented by the entrance of so extraordinary a figure as Bernadette into the Order. The Sisters recognized the challenge of trying to treat her like any ordinary novice. Most likely, in their zeal to protect Bernadette’s soul as well as the dignity and integrity of the Congregation, her superiors sometimes carried their efforts too far.
Another factor was the basic difference in personality between Mother Vauzou and Bernadette. Mother Vauzou wanted the sisters in her charge to openly confide in her, and hoped to be privy to the innermost thoughts and soul-stirrings of the chosen one of Mary. Bernadette’s disinclination to analyze or verbalize about the spiritual life must have greatly frustrated and disappointed Mother Vauzou.
Moreover, being somewhat of a snob regarding class distinctions, Mother Vauzou was probably resentful and jealous of the graces and attention that had been showered upon Bernadette, a mere peasant girl. For Bernadette’s part, although she felt somewhat reserved and uneasy around Mother Vauzou, she loved and admired her, and suffered greatly when she didn’t receive the same affection as the other nuns did.
Whether a warmer relationship with her superiors would have jeopardized Bernadette’s sanctity is impossible to say. But she eventually attained a state of detachment that allowed her to endure such psychological suffering without complaining or harboring grudges. During a retreat, she wrote in her notes: “Work on becoming indifferent to everything my superiors or companions say or think about me….To live for God only, for God everywhere, for God always.”
Patience and Fortitude
From the age of six, Bernadette was plagued with various physical illnesses, including stomach and spleen ailments and asthma. At Nevers, she developed tuberculosis of the bone. An enormous tumor on her right knee caused her excruciating pain, and she suffered attacks of coughing so severe they nearly choked her. Eventually, disease ravaged her entire system. Agonizing sores erupted all over her body, including abscesses in her ears that affected her hearing.
In addition to physical afflictions, Bernadette experienced a “dark night of the soul,” during which she was tormented with demonic attacks and temptations of doubt and despair. She told her good friend Julie Garros in 1873: “It’s really painful not to be able to breathe, but it’s much worse to be tortured by interior distress. It’s terrifying.”
Sister Marthe once found Bernadette crying and inquired if she was feeling sick. Bernadette replied, “If you only knew everything that’s going on inside me…Pray for me!” At the heart of this inner torment were her deeply disturbing, though unwarranted, doubts about the apparitions and the fear that she “might have been mistaken” about them.
Throughout all her sufferings, Bernadette remained cheerful and patient. Her first thought was always for others rather than herself. Although she accepted her afflictions with tremendous grace and courage, she did not love suffering for its own sake or voluntarily seek it out. Despite her devotion to St. Bernard, her patron saint, she admitted, “I don’t imitate him very much. St. Bernard loved suffering, while I avoid it as much as I can.”
During the final phase of her life, Bernadette’s spirituality evolved into a state of complete abandonment to God. She removed all the holy pictures with which she had surrounded her sickbed, keeping only the crucifix. When asked why, she said, “This is enough for me.” In the throes of her deepest agony she would clutch it and say with resignation, “Now I am like Him.”
In a letter to the Pope, she wrote: “My weapons are prayer and sacrifice, which I will grip firmly to my dying breath. Only then will the weapon of sacrifice fall, but prayer will come along with me to heaven where it will be much more powerful.”
The essence of Bernadette’s sanctity is beautifully expressed in the words of Pope Pius XI, who called her “a simple miller’ s daughter, who possessed no other wealth than the candor of her exquisite soul.” In his homily at Bernadette’s canonization Mass, he said: “When one considers Bernadette’s life…[it] can be summed up in three words: Bernadette was faithful to her mission, she was humble in glory, she was valiant under trial.”
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Author’s Note: I have loved St Bernadette and the story of her life and the apparitions of Our Lady of Lourdes since I was a child and first saw the beautiful movie, “The Song of Bernadette,” based on the best-selling novel by Franz Werfel. Although the novel and movie contain some fictionalized or romanticized elements, they are based on historical fact and give a wonderful overall picture of the marvelous events at Lourdes and the life of St. Bernadette Soubirous. I highly recommend both the book and the movie. Jennifer Jones gives a glowing and poignant portrayal of Bernadette, and the movie is worth watching for her performance alone, which won her the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1943. It’s hard to watch the ending without being moved to tears.
Interestingly, Franz Werfel was a German-speaking Jewish novelist, playwright and poet, born in Prague, Czechoslavakia. While escaping from the Nazis during WWII, Franz and his wife, Alma, were given refuge in Lourdes, France, where Franz heard the story of Bernadette Soubirous and the Lady. Impressed and gratified by the assistance and kindness he received from the people of Lourdes and the staff at the famous Lourdes shrine, he made a vow to write about Bernadette once he was safely settled. He and Alma eventually journeyed to California, where they lived for the rest of his life.
In fulfillment of his vow, Franz Werfel wrote “The Song of Bernadette” in 1941, which remained on the New York Times bestseller list for a year and occupied first place for 13 weeks. In Werfel’s own words: “All the memorable happenings that constitute the substance of this book took place in the world of reality…. My story makes no changes in this body of truth. I exercised my right of creative freedom only where the work, as a work of art, demanded certain chronological condensations or where there was need of striking the spark of life from the hardened substance….’The Song of Bernadette’ is a novel but not a fictive work.”
My own two-part article on this blog was based on extensive research into the life of Bernadette Soubirous, not on the Werfel novel, and I have not strayed from the facts. I mention the novel and the movie because they first kindled in me a love for Bernadette and Our Lady of Lourdes, and because I strongly feel that both are masterpieces well worth reading and watching, as I have done many times.
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While Joe was out fishing one day, he spotted an old man observing him from a distance. As the hours went by, the man continued to sit there and watch. As Joe was leaving, he approached the old man and said, “I couldn’t help noticing that you were watching me fish all day.” The man replied, “Well, you see, I used to fish myself years ago, but I gave it up ‘cause I just ain’t got the patience.”
For many of us, patience is one of the hardest virtues to practice. Our prayer might be, “God, please give me patience — right now!” We want to be more patient, but in this age of “instant everything,” waiting for anything seems a waste of time. Being patient is something I struggle with on a daily basis. I usually find it relatively easy to be patient when dealing with clients, working with animals, or when writing, doing artwork or other enjoyable pursuits, even when they sometimes prove difficult. But it is often much harder for me to be patient with other drivers, at home, and with the people closest to me, when the tedium and annoyances of familiarity and the daily routine grate on my nerves and make me irritable and “snappish.”
Impatience can damage our relationships with other people. It can even affect our relationship with God (whatever “God” means to you), implying a lack of trust that God will do what’s best for us. We want what we want when we want it. But the fact is, our idea of good timing is often not good at all. God knows this and gives us things at just the right time, so that we won’t fall into disastrous situations.
Being impatient is like trying to swim against a riptide. By struggling against it, you eventually become tired, get pulled under, and drown. But if you swim parallel to the shore, you can escape the riptide’s pull and then head back to land. It’s the same with life: if we constantly fight the tide of trouble or stagnation, we get dragged down by defeat and despair. But by steadily going on with our lives, keeping our goals in sight but not struggling against fate to reach them, we eventually succeed.
Floating on your back conserves your energy when you are swimming. In the same way, when we feel overwhelmed by life, we can just float in God’s love for a while and let it carry us through the rough places. At some point we must resume swimming — but this time we will have our strength restored and feel more confident of reaching our destination.
Patience must be nurtured in order to grow healthy and strong. But how can you become more patient? Keep reading!
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Dealing with Doubt
Doubt is an integral part of our human condition. No one escapes it, not even the greatest saints and spiritual masters. So how do we deal with times of doubt? It cannot be conquered by getting proof of God’s reality, because as American economist, social theorist, and author Stuart Chase once wrote, “For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible.” Nor is it helpful trying to force yourself to never have any doubts. But it is possible to have a different perspective on doubt by seeing it as a potentially valuable and powerful tool, not as a curse. Why? Because doubt sharpens our faith, the way a hard stone sharpens the edge of a knife as it is rubbed against it. As our souls are rubbed against the rough stone of doubt, we can become stronger, more courageous and confident. In the words of poet Kahlil Gibran: “Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.”
Certainly, it’s hard to see doubt as beneficial when we are deep in the throes of it, when it discourages and overwhelms us, destroying our peace of mind. At times of trouble and difficulty, we question what is happening in our lives and ask to understand. We mull over all the possible things we might have done to “deserve it” and we wonder: is God an infinitely loving Father, or an indifferent, even fierce, vengeful deity who doesn’t really care about our suffering? This is human nature, and God understands it. Doubt becomes a problem only when we honor it above all else and give God no opportunity to enlighten us.
When we read the Scriptures and other spiritual writings, we discover other people’s struggles with the same doubts with which we ourselves grapple. Recognizing that the human struggle with God’s reality and His will is an ageless one helps us to see it with greater understanding. Honoring our human free will, God never forces us to trust Him, but if we do not trust Him, He cannot help us to use our gifts as freely, and our lives will not be as fulfilling or productive. While trusting God is sometimes difficult, it stops fear, doubt, and despair faster than any human effort ever could do.
When we question God’s existence or His love, this means we are not mindless robots, but thinking, feeling, living souls who have free will and are subject to thoughts that are not always easy to live with. Never having doubts or fears would make us overconfident, taking our Creator for granted and limiting our spiritual development. We would be of no use to other people who have trouble believing in God, because we would feel self-righteous and smug, unable to understand or help them on their path to finding God.
Kindness and compassion begin with our own pain.
We might not be proud of our ignorance and fear, but they are part of our human nature, and all of us face them in ourselves and in others. By using doubt as a tool towards greater compassion for those who do not believe, we grow as souls and strengthen our own faith.
Using human reason alone can take us only so far. Acknowledging this limitation opens the door to God’s guidance. Questioning God is not sinful, but turning away from Him will close us off to His help, to enlightenment and growth.Think of it this way: if you have children who love and respect you, but sometimes question your rules or judgment, you wouldn’t feel angry about this, because you know that your children really love you and are not abandoning you because of a disagreement. But if your children totally rejected you and shut you out of their lives, you probably would feel anger or sadness, and eventually have no choice but to stop offering your help, because they are closed off to it.
Similarly, if we question God sometimes, or even get angry with Him, we don’t fall out of favor with Him. Nor do we stunt our spiritual growth, as long as we give Him enough trust to let Him guide us to a place of peace. It’s normal sometimes to question whether or not we are on the right path. Other people’s opinions on how to live our lives can upset or confuse us, but we can be sure that openness to God’s guidance will never let us down. If we continue on our path, even when we feel doubt, over time the path straightens out and we will be guided in the right direction. If we continue our efforts to trust in God, even when we feel He doesn’t care or that maybe He doesn’t even really exist, we eventually will experience stronger faith. Sometimes it’s a matter of “fake it ’till you make it.”
Another way doubt benefits us is by causing us to seek truth with which to arrive at answers. Using prayer and seeking spiritual sources of truth to enlighten our minds is the greatest antidote to doubt. Our human nature does not attune itself to Light often enough; instead it seeks material things and intellectual pursuits to try to fill the empty spaces and supply all the answers. I once saw a sign outside a church that read: “If God feels far away, who moved?” God is love; He knows no other way to be. God does not turn away from us, but we often turn away from God. As a result, we despair and do not feel His presence. We think that God has abandoned us. But this is an illusion, not truth.
Assuming that solely by our own power we can overcome any trouble, figure out any question, and solve any problem, without God’s intervention, ultimately leads to despondency. Trying to comprehend that which is not humanly comprehensible, such as God’s Divine nature and His ways, is like trying to understand a book written in another language by reading it over and over again, without any knowledge of the language in which it is written. This would be futile. But if you seek help from someone who understands the language, this makes it possible for you to understand the book. Likewise, only God can help us overcome the anguish of total despair, which is poison to the soul.
A person caught in quicksand will sink deeper the more he struggles. If we try too hard to overcome doubt, we sink even deeper into the quicksand of fear and despair, because our efforts alone, no matter how great, will never be enough to conquer these things. A person drowning in quicksand cannot pull themself out of it, but can be pulled out by someone else. By realizing that we cannot save ourselves from fear and doubt, we can then reach out to God and let Him pull us out of it by blessing us with the gift of faith.
Dr. Elton Trueblood, author, educator, philosopher and theologian, once said, “Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.” Faith originates in God. It is His gift to us, but our souls must be open to this gift, through total surrender to God’s will. This can be done by quieting the mind through mindfulness and meditation when it starts running amok, by frequent prayer and study of spiritual truth, and by freely sharing our own experiences with other souls who are struggling on their own path to God. Like a muscle, exercising our faith strengthens it, so that when doubt comes around — and it will! — our faith will be strong enough to see us through it.
Totally surrender your doubt to God and ask Him to use it to make you stronger. Ask God sincerely to show you His presence in your life, and stay open to God’s answer. By admitting that we don’t understand, but will trust a little while longer, we discover that somehow we find our faith again in the truths we spontaneously come to comprehend. This not only strengthens us, but allows us to help other people on their own spiritual journey.
When we see doubt as a tool to sharpen our faith, we will never feel powerless against it. When we honor God, we cannot at the same time honor fear or doubt. Alone we have no power against the darkness, but with God, who is Light, we have unlimited strength and endless power! Use your doubt as a tool to help you to become a stronger person. As Jesus promised in John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Everyday Life Spirituality 