As we welcome a new year, many people are making resolutions. I prefer to set goals rather than make a laundry list of “should do’s” that I will probably give up after a couple of weeks because they are just so dull, tedious and uninspiring! I promise you that the exercise I’m suggesting in this post will be a lot of fun and you’ll probably really enjoy doing it!

What I want to encourage you to do as 2018 begins is imagine your ideal life, the life you would want to live right now, if you had absolutely no restrictions. This is the time to let go of any limitations, such as money, time, circumstances, age…anything. The only rule is that the life you imagine must be a life that would suit YOU as the person YOU are. It has to be believable for you, or it won’t work. In other words, it would be of no use to picture yourself as the President of the United States if you have no interest in politics and would never run for public office, or to imagine that you are another person entirely (i.e., your favorite celebrity or public figure). This would be so beyond the realm of possibility that you would not be able to really get into the whole exercise. You can imagine your fondest dreams, but they need to be YOUR dreams; they need to be something that you can really believe!

Give your imagination free rein and ask yourself: If I could have any situation I wanted, what sort of life would make me happy at this time?” I specify “at this time,” because our idea of what constitutes an ideal life changes and evolves as we do. Don’t worry about whether or not you might change your mind one day…this exercise is for now.

Here are some suggested questions to guide this imaginative journey. Jot down your answers in your journal or a notebook for further development later on. Take as much time as you need to formulate your answers. This should be an enjoyable, relaxing and uplifting pastime – no pressure. Do not get bogged down or discouraged by thinking about what your life is right now. Just let yourself dream!

In your ideal life:

  • Where would you be living (town, state, country)? Near the ocean, in the mountains, in a big city? Warm climate, a four-season climate, a colder climate?
  • Who would you be living with (if anyone)? Would you have a spouse, partner, any children, any pets?
  • What things would be in your environment that would make you happy (furnishings, vehicles, other possessions)?
  • How would you look? What would you be wearing?
  • How much money would make you feel secure and comfortable?
  • What would be your ideal job/career?
  • If you are retired or don’t prefer a career, what is the ideal way you would spend your time most days?
  • What talent or skill would you excel at?
  • Would you travel, and if so, where would you go?
  • What would you love to accomplish?
  • What would you like to leave behind as your legacy to the world; for what would you most like to be remembered?

One effective way to come up with answers is to imagine how you would feel if you found out that you only had another year to live. Suddenly, all those unachieved goals, latent talents and unresolved issues would become front and center in your life. Use this as a jumping-off point to discover what really matters to you.

Now that you have your answers written down, it’s time to develop them into achievable goals. Take each answer from the preceding questions and tweak them so that they become realistic enough to become an actual goal. For instance, if you answered that “a billion dollars” would make you feel secure and comfortable, honestly ask yourself if you really would need that large an amount. Would you feel financially secure and be able to live comfortably with $1,000,000? With $500,000? Would an extra $100,000 or $50,000 give you peace of mind? This is a personal thing; everyone’s needs and comfort levels are different. It’s true that some people will never feel secure no matter how much money they have; but most of us have a “magic number” that we feel would do the trick.

If your dream is to be a Broadway star or a famous singer, this could be a possibility for some of you, but could you still be happy if you performed in community theatre, or sang with a band at local venues? Sometimes all we want is a chance to share our talents and shine a little bit, even if we never become superstars. After all, we know that fame and fortune do not always equal happiness.

After you have gone through your list of answers and come up with versions of them that seem believable to you, the next step is to formulate them into actual goals. I heard a great quote recently: “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” Dreaming alone will never help us achieve anything; we need to unite dreaming with planning and action. Some of these goals will be short-term; others might take months, and still others years. It doesn’t matter; all that matters is that you create a plan that will bring you step-by-step closer to your dreams.

In this post, we’re going to take the first step in the plan to transform your dreams into achievable goals: Create a visual representation of Your Ideal Life. You can choose one or more of the following – or even do them all! It’s your dream, so do whatever works:

  1. CREATE A VISION BOARD: Get a large piece of poster board or foam-core board, or even one of those memory boards that people use for photos. On this vision board, you will post at least one picture for each aspect of Your Ideal Life. You can write “My Ideal Life” at the top of the board if you wish. Cut pictures from magazines, print out online pictures, or draw your own. Attach the pictures to your vision board, and in the center of the board put a picture of yourself, smiling and looking happy. Put the vision board in a place where you will see it every day.
  1. MAKE AN “IDEAL LIFE” SCREENSAVER: This is similar to the vision board, except that you will save the pictures to your computer as a screensaver. This is a great way to keep your goals always before your eyes! You can also post them in the image gallery of your smartphone where you can look at them every day, or make a collage of them in a photo-editing program and use them as the home screen on your phone.
  1. MAKE A TREASURE BOX: Buy an attractive box with a hinged lid, or use a decorative photo box with a lid. Embellish it any way you like with beads, glass gems, stickers, paint, etc. Inside the box put pictures and symbolic objects that represent each aspect of Your Ideal Life. For instance, if you want better finances, put some money in the box. If you want to live by the seashore, find a pretty shell and place that in the box. You can also write down each aspect of your dream on  slips of paper or index cards and place those in the box as well. Keep the box in a prominent place of honor where you will see it often. 
  1. CREATE AN “IDEAL LIFE” SCRAPBOOK: If you enjoy scrapbooking, or simply are the type of person who feels more connected by holding a tangible object like a book, buy yourself an attractive scrapbook and mount Your Ideal Life pictures inside it. Have a separate page for each aspect of Your Ideal Life. Give the page a title, and decorate it with appropriate stickers, or draw designs on it that represent your goals. Keep it in a safe place but where it is easily accessible to you.

Keep whatever visual representation you choose handy and look at it often. You do not have to have it in open view if you are afraid that other people will make fun of it or otherwise discourage you. Sit in a comfortable place when you have enough time to give it attention. Let the images, designs, objects and words permeate your consciousness. Smile as you immerse yourself in this visual representation of Your Ideal Life.

Another excellent way to impress your ideals on your subconscious mind is to visualize Your Ideal Life every night as you are falling asleep. It’s a way to put yourself in a positive mood at bedtime, which also can lead to better sleep.

Once daily is enough time to spend with Your Ideal Life exercise. Do not obsess over it. You must live in the present at the same time you are visualizing your future. If you get obsessive about your goals, constantly comparing your dreams to your current less-than-ideal situation, you will get depressed and discouraged about how far away you feel you are from them. When you do get disheartened because your dreams seem unattainable, just remind yourself that although you are not there yet, you are getting closer every day to a better life.

Also stay open to the idea that you might get something different from what you expect will make you happy right now, but it will be something that is actually better and more appropriate and attainable for you. Hold your dreams, but hold them loosely. Think of them like a little baby bird you have in your hand who will get crushed if you squeeze it too hard. Only if you hold it gently will it grow strong enough to be able to soar one day.

I have used all of these methods at one time or another. The first one I tried was the scrapbook. I was amazed a few years later when I came across the scrapbook again and saw that every one of the goals depicted in it had come true!

I want to close this post by apologizing for not having posted in quite some time. The reason is that I was reassessing my own life and formulating some new goals. One important goal is wanting to do more with my artwork. Art has always been a passion of mine since childhood, and although I have drawn, painted and done commissioned portraits for many years, I feel that at this time in my life I want to give it more attention, a more prominent place in my life.

Part of my plan for my own Ideal Life involves taking more commissions, doing much more artwork, and making people happy with it. I have spent the last several weeks making a new website for my art, and also creating more artwork. I do not intend to give up this blog, but I am working on balancing the various aspects of my life in a harmonious yet productive way.

If you’d like to visit my new art website, it is:

In my next post, we’ll explore more techniques to bring planning and action to your dreams to create Your Ideal Life. Happy New Year! I wish all of you the best in 2018. May all your dreams come true!


Smiling & Frowning Man

Living with Light #3

My last two posts focused on becoming aware of our thoughts and feelings, releasing the negative and focusing on the positive, so that we can discover our true heart’s yearnings, utilizing the Law of Attraction. In this post, I want to talk about something that, although unpleasant, is often part of the journey towards changing our thought patterns and fulfilling our goals.  I hadn’t been planning to write about this particular aspect yet, but my own experiences since my last post appeared have messed with my original outline for this blog! When something like that happens, I assume that it’s for a reason and maybe it’s what I need to write about at this particular time. So here goes:

Over the last several months, I have been formulating a new set of goals that focused on several areas of my life, and keeping watch on my thoughts and feelings so that I could remain positive. No human being can think and feel positive 100% of the time, but if we can raise the percentage to at least 51% positive vs. negative (the higher the % the better), we will see significant changes in our lives. I was very excited about my goals, and was utilizing many of the processes for manifesting them with the Law of Attraction, which I believe is simply a matter of cooperating with the Divine to bring about the best circumstances for our particular life journey.

However, very shortly after my last post, most of the goals I had been carefully considering and planning came under fire and began to look as though they would completely fall apart. I won’t bore you with a lot of personal details, but here in a nutshell is what happened: First, an online friend reacted with negativity and criticism to some of my beliefs, which hurt me and deflated some of my enthusiasm, despite the fact that I knew I shouldn’t let it. Then, a particular event caused my husband to get cold feet again about a relocation goal which had just been starting to get his support. Some of my efforts concerning other goals seemed to meet with indifference and a lack of results (insert cricket chirping sounds here). All in all, my confidence was badly shaken, leaving me feeling adrift, without direction, discouraged about my goals, and finding it difficult to remain positive and hopeful.

Meanwhile, through another set of circumstances, a goal that I had not been focusing on suddenly came to the forefront. Although I did not feel receptive to it at first, I soon found myself becoming excited about that goal again, much to my surprise. So at least this was a positive development. But still, I must admit that all these circumstances threw me for a loop, causing me to rethink my goals, putting some of them on hold, changing my strategy on others, and focusing on some I had not been previously considering.

I know that I am not alone in this experience. I have heard often about this sort of thing happening to other people when they begin to make positive changes in their lives and pursue their dreams. In fact, it has happened to me before regarding goals I have set in the past. Sometimes I did attain those goals eventually, and in other cases those goals were replaced with other, better ones. So, since I have been thinking a lot about this turn of events in my own life, I thought it would be helpful to explore some of the reasons why things like this might happen just when we have set our goals and started to seriously work towards them:

  • Course Correction: Whenever I set goals, I always pray that what I am pursuing is in keeping with the Divine will for my life. It’s never wise to doggedly and blindly pursue goals without seeking guidance, because we often can end up unhappy because some of our goals may not turn out to be what we expected and instead cause trouble and regret. I totally trust that God always leads me in the right direction, provided I keep an open mind and heart. So when setbacks and disappointments rear their heads, I seriously consider whether Divine guidance is correcting my course and showing me that what I am pursuing is not a true goal and is not beneficial to me in the long run. (More about Course Corrections in an upcoming post).
  • Cosmic Shake-Up: Whenever we set a goal, it requires the Universe, guided by the Divine Mind, to put things in motion to bring it about for us. Because of this, it sometimes means that for a while things will be in chaos. But if we stay open and trusting, we will discern whether there is something we need to do differently or better in pursuit of our goals. Sometimes we just need to wait a bit for “the dust to settle,” and we will see our way clear again.
  • Test of our Determination: How committed are we to our goals? Can we stay the course, even when other people tear down our beliefs and aspirations, even when it seems that everything is falling apart, and/or we feel we don’t have what it takes to succeed at our goals? Sometimes setbacks are a way of putting our determination to the test.
  • Test of our Trust and Faith in the Divine: Even though we say that we want to do God’s will, and that we don’t want any goal that is not in our best interest or that of others involved, because we are human, deep-down we are always hoping that God’s will is the same as our own. It’s only natural that when a goal appears to be crumbling, we will feel deeply disappointed, maybe even a little bitter and angry. But it’s important not to immediately give up on all of our goals. We need to continue to put our faith in Divine guidance and do our best to keep an open mind, trusting that if one goal is not meant to be, then something different and better will take its place.
  • Divine Detour: Almost all of our goals do, out of necessity, involve other people and circumstances. Because they have free will, sometimes other people might be disinclined or unable to do their part in what is needed to allow our plans to succeed. It can also be that another person’s involvement or cooperation in our goal would not be in their best interest. This does not always mean that our goals won’t manifest, but it may mean that a detour and/or delay is necessary. Think of it like your GPS recalculating your route when you come across a road that’s closed.



  1. Things in Our Life are Out of Balance: Sometimes we can develop tunnel vision about our goals, and in the process ignore or put on the back burner other goals, gifts and areas of our life that are actually important for us to focus on now. I suspect that this is what recently happened to me. I trust that there is a good reason why I have been called upon to resurrect a particular goal that has been dormant in my life for the past couple of years. I have now included this other goal in my plans. I have been pleasantly surprised at how much I’m enjoying including it in my life again, even though at first I was reluctant, even resentful about it.

These are some of the reasons we experience setbacks, even complete chaos and confusion, when we set goals and make the decision to effect positive change in our lives. Although these “roadblocks” are disturbing and discouraging, it’s important to stay determined to remain positive and keep our minds and hearts open to where our path may lead, even if we can’t see very far ahead right now.

I would love to hear some of your own experiences and insights into this problem. So, if you’d like to share, please comment below.

Releasing Negative Thoughts & Feelings


Girl Blowing on Dandelion-resized

Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash

In my last post (“Time to Wake Up” – Living with Light #1) we explored the subject of negative thinking and how it can set us up for failure at what we want to be, do, or have, how it can keep attracting the same bad situations into our life and adversely affect how we act and react to the world around us. I listed a number of common negative thoughts so that we could identify the areas in which we seem to have the most trouble. In this way, we are “waking up” spiritually and mentally by recognizing the numerous negative thoughts we have on a daily basis.  If you did not see this list, please read my last post, the first in an ongoing series that will explore in simple steps how to change your circumstances for the better, how to cooperate with the Creator to bring more joy, peace and abundance into your life.

So, once we’ve identified some of our negative thought patterns, how do we turn things around? Most negativity is an expression of what we hate, fear, and want to avoid — in other words, all the things we DON’T want! Thoughts are energy, and because “like attracts like,” constantly dwelling on what we don’t want will keep bringing what we don’t want into our lives. The subconscious mind accepts everything you tell it, whether good or bad, positive or negative. For instance, it doesn’t matter if you say, “I don’t want to be poor.” You are still thinking about poverty and probably fearing it, which is subconsciously setting you up to fall prey to more circumstances, people, and bad decisions that will keep you from having more money. Furthermore, the negative energy you are emitting will draw those circumstances and people to you.

To bring about change, we need to focus on what we love and yearn for, rather than what we don’t love and don’t want. Think of it this way: Supposing you went with a group of friends to an all-you-can-eat buffet. You go down the buffet table looking at all the varieties of food, and every time you see a food that you dislike and would never want to eat, you add it to your plate. By the time you get to the end of the buffet, your dish is filled with food you can’t stand. You pay for it and go sit at the table with your friends. You sit there, not eating, feeling hungry and miserable, while your friends are heartily eating and enjoying their food.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Who the heck would do that???” Well, we do exactly that every time we waste our valuable energy by thinking and talking about what we DON’T want out of life! The friends who are enjoying their meal represent the people who focus their thoughts and energies on the things they truly want, to which they aspire, who love their lives and feel happy and satisfied, while you look on and wonder why you are so miserable. Would it help you to resent and envy them because they are enjoying their food and you’re not? No, because you chose the food yourself! This life is a precious treasure — God’s gift to you. Your power to co-create with God the kind of life you truly want is part of this gift. Why would you waste it on things you don’t want? Why would you expend your precious time and energy perpetuating a life that is unsatisfying to you?

Remember, a random negative thought or two will not bring a host of bad things upon you. There is a time delay between our thoughts and their consequences, and positive thoughts are a great deal stronger than negative ones. That’s the good news! The bad news, though, is that sustained or habitual negative thoughts, especially when accompanied by strong emotion, will eventually attract negative things into your life. Like the food you chose at the buffet, the currency of your thoughts and feelings is capable of bringing both good and bad things to you. It’s a matter of which ones you choose.


Photo (without text) by Ravi Pinisetti on Unsplash

Because we have tens of thousands of thoughts a day, it is impossible to monitor each one. But an easy way to identify your predominant thoughts is to tune into your feelings, because your feelings are the result of your thoughts. Are you feeling negative emotions, such as: boredom, irritability, disappointment, anger, worry, depression, hatred, envy, guilt or fear? Or are you feeling positive emotions like love, gratitude, joy, excitement, enthusiasm, hope, satisfaction? Don’t feel guilty or afraid because you are experiencing a negative emotion or thinking a negative thought, as that is just adding more negativity!

We don’t want to deny our negative emotions and pretend they don’t exist, because they often serve to point out areas in our lives that need our attention. Also, it is natural to feel negative emotions at particular crisis points in our lives, i.e., loss of a job, death of a loved one. If this is the case, you must allow yourself to experience the emotions, and to seek help if necessary. We’re also not talking here about serious mental or emotional illness, such as clinical depression or bipolar disorder, for which one needs to be under medical supervision. What we’re discussing are the typical thoughts and emotions that most of us experience on a regular basis. However, even if you are going through a life crisis or suffering from a mental illness, you can still apply these principles in addition to any other help you may be receiving.

Self-awareness is the key. Once you are aware of why you are feeling a particular way, you can then understand what your emotions are telling you and what changes you can make to improve your circumstances. You can then achieve mastery of your conscious thoughts. One way to do this is to practice a simple form of meditation. Don’t let the word “meditation” scare you. I don’t mean that you need to sit in Lotus Position for two hours every day and chant “Om” (although this is perfectly fine if you want to do it!). You only need a few minutes, and the following practice is very simple and will become easier with time:

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Sit comfortably in a quiet room (turn off all your devices and ask to not be disturbed). Begin to focus on your breathing and/or picture a blank movie screen in your mind. As you sit there, thoughts will naturally bubble up. Just “watch” the thoughts. Don’t get involved with them; just witness them, and then turn your mind gently but firmly back to your breathing or to the blank movie screen.

If the thought is negative, acknowledge that you had a negative thought. Do not try to resist it, because resistance means you are focused on it with powerful emotion, which will only make it stronger. Just release it without judgement or guilt. Continue this way until the timer goes off. Make an effort to do this every day, or at least several times a week. You will find that you feel more relaxed and focused after this, and may want to do it for longer periods. Eventually you will reach a point where the intruding thoughts will decrease, and you will experience longer periods of peace as your mind lets go of its constant chatter.

If you are feeling particularly sad, angry, depressed or fearful, you can use the following exercise to get to the root of your feelings and release them:

Sit in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed, with all electronic devices turned off or in another room. Focus on your breathing until you become more relaxed. Then ask yourself why you are feeling unhappy, and express the reason out loud, i.e., “I am afraid that I won’t find another job,” or “I’m sad and lonely because my love life is terrible right now.” Once you have identified the emotion and its cause, don’t try to resist it or force it to go away. “Fighting” an emotion (like “fighting” an illness) usually doesn’t work, since it involves negative emotions like anger, resentment or resistance, which can actually attract more negativity to you and make the condition worse.

Face the negative emotion and ask it what it might be trying to teach you. Let it speak to you, without forcing it or censoring it. Learn from what it is telling you. For instance, if you are depressed because you’re sick, the reason you might hear when you ask this question is that your life was out of balance, you were stressed, rushing around, not taking time to relax, not eating and sleeping right. The illness was your body’s way of telling you to slow down and take better care of it, to bring your life into a better balance of mind, body and spirit.

Thank your subconscious mind for giving you the reason. Tell it that you will heed the lesson, and that you no longer need to experience the negative emotions. You can picture yourself letting go of the emotion in any way you like: i.e., blowing it away like dandelion fluff, releasing it as a balloon, or watching it wash away like sand in an ocean wave. Once you learn the lesson that your negative emotion is trying to teach you, it will no longer have a strong hold on you. You will be able to release it and move on.

Once again, do not worry or become anxious about having negative thoughts, as this will attract more negative thoughts to you. We all have numerous negative thoughts occurring throughout each day, but they become a problem only when we dwell upon them and repeat them often or infuse them with strong emotion. Say to yourself, “All my negative thoughts are weak, while my positive thoughts are very powerful!”

Simply by having read this post and the last one, you have become much more aware of any negative thought patterns you have. From now on, you will not be on “automatic pilot,” reacting in the same old way to everything that happens in your life. You will now be aware of your reactions (your thoughts) in each situation and can take action on them! You are now in the driver’s seat of your mind, no longer a helpless and clueless passenger!

Brooding Man_Final

Photo (w/o text) by ANDRIK ↟ LANGFIELD ↟ PETRIDES on Unsplash

The simple forms of meditation given here are an excellent way to become more observant of your thoughts and feelings in order to learn to control them. Meditation has tremendous benefits for mind, body and spirit. There are many excellent books, blogs, and videos about meditation if you would like to explore this practice in more depth. One good blog to check out for meditation tips and links to meditation videos is ThoughtsnLife:


Time to Wake Up!


Living with Light #1

No, we’re not talking here about the setting on your alarm clock.  You’re probably thinking, “Obviously, I’m already awake, or I wouldn’t be reading this right now!” You might not be sleeping, but are you fully awake and aware of the life you are creating for yourself at this very moment?

How do you create your life and your future? You do it through the thoughts and feelings that you hold in your mind consistently over a period of time. We have tens of thousands of thoughts a day, but many of them are random and fleeting and don’t have much impact. What does matter, though, are our dominant thoughts — the ones we dwell on consistently, the habitual thought patterns we follow on a regular basis. Those thoughts of today are what draw the events, situations, and people that will form our tomorrow.

What we don’t realize is that what we think consciously and believe subconsciously affects how we act and react to the world around us. It sends out a signal that in turn has an effect on other people, drawing those of like mind to us. This is great if our thoughts are positive and constructive – who doesn’t want to be surrounded by people and situations that lift our spirits, encourage and inspire us to be our best selves? But what if our thoughts are sad, gloomy, bitter, angry, fearful or anxious – do we really want to draw people to us who will just perpetuate this negativity? Please don’t invite me to that party!

Our thoughts also influence our future, because when we are steeped in negativity, we do not make wise choices or take constructive action. We are too reactive, act too hastily without sufficient reflection, respond to others with negativity, try to control or manipulate people, or force events and situations in such a way as to sabotage our own goals and progress.

Many of you may know about the Law of Attraction (LOA), which is based on the theory that “like attracts like.” Personally, I firmly believe in this law because I have seen it manifest over and over in my own life – for both good and bad, depending on the way I was thinking, feeling and acting at the time. Although the LOA was made popular by Rhonda Byrne’s inspiring 2006 movie, The Secret,  it has been written about over the last 100+ years by various “New Thought” authors, and these principles actually have been around in one form or another for thousands of years. They form a part of virtually every major religion, and are mentioned by many great thinkers and spiritual leaders and in many religious texts, including the Judeo-Christian Bible and the teachings of Buddha. They may not have called it “the Law of Attraction,” as that is a relatively new term, but in principle they were teaching the same truths.  We may have heard their words hundreds of times, but just never truly understood or “got it” on a deep, basic level. 

Utilizing the LOA is just another phrase for unwavering faith in Divine Power to manifest that to which we aspire. Although many modern LOA proponents use the term “the Universe,” I prefer the word God or Divine Power instead of “Universe,” because I believe that God is the supreme intelligence that created all things; the Universe is simply a creation through which God works to manifest, using the power of love. But it doesn’t matter what you call it, and you don’t have to be a particularly religious person to utilize it; it is only necessary to have an open mind and to believe in a Power greater than yourself, which is the Source of everything and the loving Force that is present within you and everything else in the Universe. You can refer to this Power by any name that resonates with you.

Even those who are not of a spiritual or metaphysical mindset would likely agree that our subconscious beliefs affect the way we act and appear to others, and that they definitely have an impact on our own bodies and mental/physical health (many medical professionals today acknowledge the mind-body connection). 


Image courtesy of kittijaroon at

This is the first post in an ongoing series that will explore in easy steps how to change your life for the better, how to experience more joy, happiness, serenity and abundance. I like to call this “Living with Light,” as opposed to dwelling in the darkness of negativity. The first step is “waking up” by becoming aware of the quality of our thoughts.  Awareness is the beginning of changing things for the better, because if we walk around unconscious of what we’re doing, we will never change. Below are some questions to help you identify your own habitual thought patterns. 

Do you often say or think any of the following:

  • I’m too ___ (tired, sick, achy, weak, old, young, fat, ugly, stupid, etc.)
  • I’ll never be able to _____ I’m not ______(fill in the blank)
  • I’m a bad sleeper
  • I can’t relax…I can’t concentrate…I can’t lose weight…I can’t get up early…I can’t _______ (fill in the blank)
  • I’m always late / I’m always running behind schedule
  • I never have any money
  • I’ll never get out of debt
  • I’m never at the right place at the right time
  • It’s all the fault of my dysfunctional parents/family…my bad childhood…the traits I inherited from my parents, etc.
  • I’m just a victim of ______
  • I have no control over what happens to me
  • I never get a break
  • It’s Murphy’s Law
  • I just look at food and gain weight
  • I’m getting…(old, fat, sick, worn out, forgetful, poorer)
  • I’ve only got a few more years left
  • I’m not ____ enough (i.e., smart, attractive, thin, talented, skilled, educated, rich) — or:  I don’t have enough ______ (brains, education, looks, money, ability, luck, talent, etc.)
  • Something that good can never happen to me
  • I’d never be so lucky
  • I never win anything
  • Other people get everything and I get nothing
  • This is just my luck  (or) I never have any luck
  • I hate that person
  • That person should drop dead
  • I look horrible in everything I put on
  • I never take a good picture
  • I’ll never have enough ____ (money, time, ability, health, etc.)
  • I’m so afraid of _____ 
  • I really dread _______
  • I’m not feeling well – it’s probably cancer
  • I will probably get (name the disease), because it runs in my family (or because so many people get it). I live in constant fear of getting (this disease).
  • I HATE (cancer, diabetes, asthma – or any disease)
  • We must FIGHT cancer (or other disease or problem)
  • Getting old sucks
  • I’m getting senile
  • I just can’t lose weight
  • I can’t cope with this
  • What if _____ (imagining something bad and then worrying about it)
  • I always have too much work
  • I hate my job and I’ll never get a better one
  • I don’t have enough to give to or share with anyone else
  • I’ll never forgive _____
  • I’m too…(old, tired, busy, far gone)…to care about my looks or my health anymore
  • Everyone gets (fat, sick, high blood pressure, diabetes, memory loss) as they age.
  • I’m just falling apart
  • It’s hopeless
  • I never get good weather on my vacations or when I plan something

Do you often:

  • Gossip or complain about someone, or join in gossip/complaining about someone?
  • Try to instigate trouble and bad feeling among others?
  • Argue over and/or ridicule someone’s political or spiritual opinions?
  • End a friendship or become estranged from a family member because of differing political or spiritual beliefs?
  • Feel you have nothing to be thankful for?
  • Compare yourself negatively to other people?
  • Make nasty, snide or critical comments or cruel jokes in person or on social media?
  • Refuse to buy something you really wanted or needed, even though you have more than enough money to afford it, because you’re afraid to spend any money?
  • Make self-deprecating comments or denials when someone compliments you?
  • Criticize someone, and/or try to make someone else do things your way?
  • Harbor resentment or bitterness towards someone? Keep thinking about how to get even? Wish bad things on them?
  • Respond instantly with anger to someone else’s words or actions?
  • Try to control and “fix” other people’s lives rather than letting them learn from their experiences in their own way?
  • Frequently make or share self-deprecating remarks or jokes about being stupid, fat, old, forgetful, or other negative things?
  • Forward emails or share social media posts encouraging hatred against anyone or anything (political figures, celebrities, certain races, ethnic groups, religions, etc.)?
  • Say, “I HATE____” (fill in the blanks)?
  • Talk at length and frequently about your illnesses or someone else’s?
  • Feel envy towards someone? Withhold a compliment from someone because you secretly envy them?
  • Try to take something/someone away from a person because you think you deserve it more? Try to turn others against someone because you’re jealous?
  • Constantly worry about your loved ones and what could happen to them, or about losing your partner, your money, your health, etc.?

Okay, so you probably identified with at least several – and maybe a lot – of these. Some of them might rarely or never pertain to you, while others are fairly frequent. If so, welcome to the human race! We ALL think, say or do these things from time to time. A fleeting thought or occasional slip-up won’t have a significant effect on your life or your future. If, however, you habitually think, do or say any of the above, if the thoughts carry a strong emotional charge, you are setting yourself up to attract exactly what you say you hate, fear and don’t want! This is because our subconscious mind believes everything we tell it, whether it’s true, false, good or bad. It is merely responding to our conscious thoughts, words and actions, like an obedient, cooperative child. It doesn’t analyze whether the thoughts are good or bad for you, positive or negative. Analyzing and choosing are the domain of the conscious mind; the subconscious just accepts what we tell it.

Consequently, with our negative thoughts we will attract, or subconsciously be attracted to, just the circumstances and people that we want so much to avoid! We also will block any good things that God wants to send us. Nothing is forced on us by God, who respects and honors our free will. So always thinking negatively about your life is like keeping your hands behind your back when someone offers you a gift. You cannot accept the gift unless your hands are open to receive it.

LOA experts recommend that we shift our positive thoughts to at least 51% over the negative ones. Even this 1% over the halfway mark could be enough to dramatically change one’s life. I believe that the more we can shift our thoughts from the negative to the positive, the quicker and more dramatic the change will be!


Legend says that in the Buddha’s travels, he encountered a man who was awed by his peaceful, radiant persona. The man asked, “My friend, what are you? Are you a celestial being? Are you a god? A magician? A wizard?” The Buddha replied, “No. I am awake.”

We cannot even begin to improve our lives unless we become awake and aware of the negative thoughts we harbor on a daily basis; otherwise, we walk around in a perpetual state of “automatic pilot” and unconsciousness. Once you become aware, you will begin to notice anytime you are thinking or speaking negatively. You also will be shocked and dismayed at all the negativity you will notice around you from other people. In upcoming posts we’ll examine these negative thoughts and attitudes and explore ways to bring about positive change and achieve our goals and dreams.

As always, I welcome your feedback, so comment below…and have a positively wonderful day!